Oh, the drama! Blockstream’s über-genius, Adam Back, just dropped a tweet hotter than a schvitz bath in August. This Bitcoin OG-yeah, the one who might or might not be Satoshi Nakamoto (he says nein, but who knows?)-is calling out altcoins and memecoins like they’re yesterday’s gefilte fish. According to him, these digital darlings are headed straight to the bargain bin of history. Zero dollars, baby! Zilch! Nada!
“I was expecting the efficient market hypothesis to kick in and price these altcoins at $0,” Back quipped in a tweet, probably while sipping a latte made from blockchain-certified beans. “But I’ve been saying this for a decade! What’s taking so long? Even my grandmother’s matzo balls move faster than this market!”
Back’s been on this zero-altcoin train longer than I’ve been making bad jokes (and that’s saying something). He’s like the crypto version of the guy who tells you the soup is cold before you even taste it. “Altcoins? Memecoins? More like meh-coins,” he’d probably say if he were in one of my movies.
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buy bitcoin, hodl, repeat.
i was expecting efficient market hypothesis to kick in with alts and price them at $0. but i was making that call a decade ago, so I am quite surprised it took this long for the efficient market to catch-up with air tokens, altcoins, memecoins etc.– Adam Back (@adam3us) May 23, 2026
“I’m shocked-shocked!-that it’s taken this long for the market to realize these coins are about as useful as a screen door on a submarine,” Back added, probably while adjusting his monocle (he doesn’t actually wear one, but he should).
For the uninitiated, the “efficient market hypothesis” is just a fancy way of saying the market knows everything. And according to Back, what it knows is that altcoins are toast. Burnt toast. The kind you throw out and never think about again.
Altcoins to $0? More Like Alt-chaos!
Back’s not just a Bitcoin bull; he’s the whole rodeo. And he’s not shy about his disdain for altcoins. When asked about his favorite altcoin, he once replied, “None of them. I’ve never owned one. They’re all going to zero. Faster than you can say schlemiel!”
His latest comments come during a market so bearish, even the bears are looking for a safe space. Altcoins and memecoins are dropping like flies at a bug zapper convention. Even Bitcoin took a hit, falling 40% from its all-time high. Ouch. But hey, it’s up 2.59% in the last 24 hours, so there’s that. Small victories, right?
So, what’s the takeaway? According to Adam Back, if you’re holding altcoins, you might as well be holding a bag of hot air. But hey, at least it’s a lightweight bag. Am I right? Rimshot.
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2026-05-24 17:23