“I never wanted anyone to feel sorry for me”

“I never wanted anyone to feel sorry for me”

As I delve deeper into Elaine Kinghorn’s life story, I am truly moved by her resilience and unwavering love for her daughter, Sammi. Her journey as a caregiver, transitioning from caring for others to focusing on Sammi after her accident, speaks volumes about her dedication and selflessness.


A 28-year-old athlete, who hails from Cheshire but was raised on a farm in the Borders, is a double medalist at the Tokyo Paralympics, holds the title of World Champion for the 100m wheelchair race, and is known for presenting BBC1’s Countryfile. In Paris, she will participate in the T53 category for the 100m, 400m, 800m, 1500m races, as well as the 4x100m relay. In 2017, she was named Scottish Sportsperson of the Year and received an MBE in 2022.

SAMMI KINGHORN

Reflecting on my life, I realize that the accident that occurred on a snowy December day 14 years ago has significantly shaped my journey thus far. At the tender age of 14, I found myself confined to a wheelchair, a stark contrast to the freedom and mobility I had just moments before. The irony was not lost on me – for as long as I could walk, I spent most of that time in defiance, testing boundaries and pushing limits, and now, it seemed, fate had turned the tables on me.

Initially, before experiencing pain or fear, and even before anything else, I felt a sense of remorse that I had caused him such hardship by getting hurt. I didn’t want him to lose his job as a farm worker and potentially lose me as well. There was no one else to hold responsible for the situation. It was all my doing. At the time, I was too young to comprehend the gravity of breaking my back in the hospital. All I could think about was informing my teacher that I wouldn’t be able to attend the chemistry test.

For approximately six months, I resided at a spinal rehabilitation center located in Glasgow. During the initial three to four weeks of my stay, I harbored a strong fear that I might be confined to a bed forever, as I had no prior experience with individuals utilizing wheelchairs.

Afterward, I was escorted to attend the Inter Spinal Unit Games held in Stoke Mandeville [located in Buckinghamshire]. During my visit, I gave all sports a go: basketball, fencing, tennis, badminton, weightlifting, and bowls. While there, I witnessed a girl competing in a wheelchair – Nikki Emerson – adorned with a silver frame featuring pink stars. It seemed quite trendy to me. For the first time ever, I sat in a racing chair, and Ian Thompson, who is married to Dame Tanni Grey-Thompson, commented, ‘You have a natural talent for this. You appear very powerful.’ That’s raw power!

I genuinely believed I was going to be stuck in a bed for ever, because I’d never seen anyone in a wheelchair

I’ve never shared with him that his encouraging words truly inspired me, as it felt great knowing I could excel. Yet, that’s exactly what I aimed to accomplish.

I exercise twice daily, for six days a week. Three days are spent working out at the gym, while the remaining days find me training in my wheelchair, using rollers and on the track. This amounts to approximately 70 miles weekly, with that figure increasing to 100 during the winter months.

I strive to maintain a nutritious diet by primarily consuming unprocessed foods and local produce, focusing on an abundance of vegetables, fruit, yogurt with berries, more carbohydrates for high-intensity training days, and adequate protein to facilitate muscle recovery. Currently, I’m enjoying many poke bowls as part of my meals.

Approximately 15 loved ones will be joining me in Paris to witness my event. Over time, our family has communicated more frequently, spent more quality moments together, grown funnier, and likely developed a greater understanding of empathy as we navigate the world with disability. The first instance when my father cracked a joke about the accident, I paused and said, “Let’s hold off on that for now.” However, laughter is often better than tears.

My partner-to-be, Callum, is looking forward to witnessing me. Our wedding is scheduled for January in Dunbar. We crossed paths on Tinder, and the evening he was supposed to meet me for our initial date, I repeated six times that I use a wheelchair. He responded nonchalantly, ‘I’m aware.’ One of my longstanding fears was questioning my attractiveness or desirability, thinking, ‘Will I ever have a partner?’ I recall expressing to a young man, ‘I won’t be able to stroll hand-in-hand on the beach with you,’ because I used to believe that’s how relationships develop, based on romantic comedies!

After the accident, I shifted my perspective, but I’ve always been a highly motivated individual. I didn’t want people to pity me. Instead, I thought, “Alright, let’s move forward.” I’ve never been content being just a resident of the Borders; it’s not that there’s anything wrong with that. Rather, I yearned for an opportunity to break free and make a mark.

“I never wanted anyone to feel sorry for me”

 

NEILL KINGHORN

SAMMI’S DAD

I’ve spent my entire life working on a farm, and for the past 36 years, I’ve been employed by this particular family. Sammi, who was born here, has assisted me since she learned to walk. She adores lambing season and had a passion for working with animals, eventually choosing zoology as her career path. We performed an autopsy on a cow to determine the cause of death, and the vet removed the heart to illustrate its functions to Samantha. She brought the heart into the kitchen to show it to her mother… when she was still living at home. Samantha’s brother Christopher, who is now 32 years old, lived at home as well. The two were highly competitive; they constantly strived to outdo each other. Christopher left home to join the military when he turned sixteen.

In December 2010, it had been snowing for a whole week when I requested Samantha to complete some tasks for me. Instead of waiting on the side as I assumed, she was playing around my forklift. Suddenly, I lost sight of her and thought she was just waiting there. Moments later, I saw her dart out in front of me and fall into the snow. I quickly carried her inside, but it took nearly two and a half hours for an ambulance to arrive due to the heavy snow obstructing their path. A second ambulance had to be called since the first one got stuck. To this day, I’m still unsure of what exactly transpired. Was I preoccupied, or did something else occur? That event left a lasting impact on her life, and it was truly heart-wrenching. We only found out later that she had climbed onto the forklift. She initially claimed to have slipped in the snow, but her injuries didn’t align with that explanation, and she eventually revealed the truth at the hospital.

The initial visit to the spinal unit was the scariest moment in my memory, given the sight of numerous individuals confined to their beds with no prospects of leaving. Those early hospital sessions were tough, spending them beside her. However, when she received her wheelchair, I witnessed a remarkable transformation – she began to regain vitality and grew stronger day by day. She served as the bond that maintained our family’s unity for several years during that challenging period.

In some aspects, I’ve accepted the situation, but occasionally, I experience sudden waves of guilt. I find myself looking at her and thinking, ‘She’s content. She’s content.’ Due to the need for a house on the farm that could accommodate someone in a wheelchair, we had to make changes. The local government estimated it would take several months to secure the necessary grants, so my employer, who owns the farm where I work, covered the entire cost of the conversion, including a bathroom equipped with a shower chair and a wet room. Samantha’s bedroom is now located on the ground floor, making it easily accessible for her.

At school, there was an Evac chair intended for wheelchair-users during fire drills. However, Samantha expressed reluctance to use it, saying ‘I’m not going in that.’ Whenever her friends heard whispers of an upcoming fire drill, Samantha would strategically leave the room before the fire alarm sounded, claiming she needed to use the restroom and quickly exit the building.

As a movie-loving soul, I can confidently say that Samantha has evolved into a more empathetic and caring individual than ever before. Each day I cherish, along with the precious company of those around me, as life’s fleeting moments are often overlooked. Yet, we never truly know what lies ahead.

Every time Samantha wins a major tournament, tears well up in me. No matter what happens at the Paris event, I’ll shed tears at the finish line. The struggles she’s faced throughout her life have significantly inspired me in mine. Yet, despite her constant declaration that I am her idol, it is she who truly inspires and idolizes me.

“I never wanted anyone to feel sorry for me”

ELAINE KINGHORN

SAMMI’S MUM

Ever since I started talking, I just couldn’t stop! I was always inquisitive, asking ‘Why is that so?’ I craved understanding the intricacies of everything. Growing up, my life was a whirlwind of ballet, gymnastics, rugby, hockey, and riding – quite an eclectic mix, wasn’t it? And let me tell you, I was never short on social interactions!

Previously, I dedicated my career to caring for individuals suffering from dementia and Alzheimer’s. Later, I focused on patients with spinal cord injuries, spina bifida, multiple sclerosis, heart issues, and strokes. However, after the accident involving Samantha, I chose to step away from my profession to care for her personally. Yet, as time passed, I found myself taking on more of a parental role rather than a caregiver’s one. It became apparent that I needed to take a step back somewhat, because I tended to do tasks she was perfectly capable of doing herself. She expressed to me, “Mum, I want you to be my mother, not my carer.” It was essential for her to maintain her independence.

Immediately following her accident, we didn’t immediately understand what had happened, so I commented, “You might just be winded.” She persisted, saying, “I don’t feel good, I don’t feel good.” Later, she said, “Mom, you need to call an ambulance. I suspect I may have fractured my spine.”

Neill exclaimed, “How did that happen? Did snow land on you?” He didn’t comprehend. An ambulance arrived, and she was wearing a puffer coat, which they had to remove. Feathers were scattered around. She was concerned about the coat because it was quite costly.

All she wanted when she came home was a Sunday roast

In a hospital room, a doctor and nurse led us, explaining that they needed to transfer her for surgery in Glasgow. Upon seeing her, we both broke down in tears. She reassured us, ‘Don’t worry, Mum, I’m alright. I’ll find a way.’ Her courage was truly inspiring. We were already upset, and Neill felt immense guilt – if she had expressed anger or lacked the resilience she showed, it likely would have shattered us.

1. Christopher, her brother, maintained her high spirits during her hospital stay by singing goofy tunes to her. I prepared the Christmas meal and packed it up in containers, transporting them all the way to Glasgow. Since Samantha loved sticky toffee pudding, I included that as well. Despite being in a brace, she couldn’t eat much, but at least what she managed to consume was delicious. She had lost a significant amount of weight. When she returned home, all she craved was a traditional Sunday roast dinner.

Following the Inter Spinal Unit Games, she was thrilled beyond words. She essentially said, “I’d love to give it a shot, but it’s quite pricey.” Her initial wheelchair cost £3,000. Our community managed to gather some funds – even our elderly neighbors wrote letters with a five-pound note enclosed. The local butcher, Waldie Family Butchers, also collected money for Sammi, and they continue to do so!

Over the course of our journeys, we’ve been accompanying Samantha to diverse locations across the globe. Her determination in rising early for training is truly commendable – that’s what dedication looks like. Her self-assuredness has blossomed over time. My spouse and I have become more sentimental, cherishing our family moments even more. Each time Samantha competes, I find myself on the edge of my seat! The anticipation gets to me and I feel a knot in my stomach. However, as soon as she assures us that she gave her best and enjoyed the experience, my worries dissipate.

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2024-08-20 18:36