tWitch's Ayahuasca Trip Changed Him, Says Allison Holker

Now, Allison Holker is reflecting on the later years she spent with her late husband Stephen “tWitch” Boss in a new light.

In a discussion about her recently published memoir titled “This Far: My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light”, the 36-year-old woman reflected upon a part where she ponders over the transformations she observed in Stephen, who tragically took his own life in December 2022 at the age of 40. These reflections stem from an experience Stephen had during an Ayahuasca journey.

After Jamie Kern Lima repeated Allison’s words to her, stating that he no longer had his usual cheerfulness and generosity, she stated that this encounter marked a significant shift in the personality of the guest on the Ellen DeGeneres Show.

On the February 4th episode of The Jamie Kern Lima Show, she mused that when he returned, it seemed as though his dedication or commitment wasn’t fully present. He could still experience happiness and carry on with his daily routines, but there was a noticeable lack in the sparkle of his eyes.

The former contestant on So You Think You Can Dance (who has children Weslie, 16, Maddox, 8, and Zaia, 5 with Stephen) commented that it seems like he found an opening for himself but did not fully heal or completely break free from his past.

Allison recalled the meaningful talks shared by the couple, who had been married for nine years, following their ascent of a beautiful Hawaiian hillside during a recent trip, which she is now questioning.

She reminisced about a moment when the scene was breathtakingly beautiful, and we were engaged in a profound conversation on life, death, and the continuation of existence. She expressed her belief that after death, one doesn’t simply cease to exist, but instead, could transition into another life, path, or future, and that it’s possible to discover love once more in another incarnation.

Allison continued, “It seemed we were having a profound conversation about life following,” she exclaimed, “I found myself thinking, ‘Gosh, we’ve gone really deep!’

After some time has passed since Stephen’s demise, the former star of “Hit The Floor” is now reconsidering his approach to discussing grand ideas.

She shared, “At times, I reflect on that conversation as if to say, ‘Wow, we truly made death seem more beautiful.’ Yet, he had no fear of death; instead, he seemed to embrace and even rejoice in the moment.

Looking back, it’s a bit unnerving because certain aspects of it are strikingly beautiful,” Allison explained, “yet some of the ideas and the lengths he delved into, as well as the recurring theme of death in his thoughts, made it seem like death was pursuing him, and he was grappling with its inevitability.

The discussion made it clear that Stephen had been contemplating mortality for a while.

Allison’s disclosures regarding her deceased husband, such as his extravagant spending on drugs that led to a $1 million tax debt for her, have stirred up debates. However, the dancer has remained firm in her choice to reveal her perspective, regardless of how it may tarnish the DJ’s life portrayal.

She expressed that she would continually honor Stephen, acknowledging him as an exceptional individual. However, she feels deeply saddened by the hardships he faced and must exercise caution, as some aspects of his choices are not entirely worthy of unrestrained celebration.

Allison noted that it’s quite a delicate balance for her at the moment, since their father’s choice has left them deeply upset.

Keep reading for more about Allison and Stephen’s family.

Allison shared a picture of her daughter, Weslie, on her way to the high school homecoming dance in October 2023.

In August 2023, Allison posted her latest dance video on TikTok following Stephen’s passing, this time joined by her daughter Weslie. They danced to a reworked version of the “My Heart Will Go On” tune from Titanic.

Allison was accompanied by Weslie, Maddox, and Zaia at the Los Angeles debut of “Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse” in May 2023.

Or simply,

Allison arrived with her children Weslie, Maddox, and Zaia for the premiere of “Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse” in Los Angeles in May 2023.

In a post made on Instagram in November 2022, Stephen expressed gratitude for his family, wellbeing, affection, and life itself. Sharing warmth and love from his household to yours, he used the hashtags #bossfamily and #turkeyday.

The family dressed up as the Addams Family.

In June 2022, Stephen posted on Instagram, ‘Father’s Day greetings! Being a dad to these wonderful kids is the best present and responsibility I could ever ask for. Sending lots of affection to all the dads and father figures out there. May you feel cherished today!’ #fathersday

Stephen appeared with Allison, Weslie, Maddox and Zaia on Father’s Day 2022.

Stephen appeared with son Maddox in March on the child’s 6th birthday in March 2022.

On Instagram, he wished his son a happy birthday. He finds it hard to believe that his little prince is now 6 years old. Time seems to have flown by so fast. He’s grown so tall, smart, and independent. It all happened too quickly, but he couldn’t be prouder of the positive impact his son continues to have on the world. Moreover, his son is constantly teaching him how to become a better father and person, while he, in turn, guides his son. This ongoing process is truly beautiful.

Ho Ho Ho!

In September 2021, the family donned identical holiday pajamas from The Children’s Place and demonstrated their dance routines while dressed up.

Sunny day…

Stephen danced with son Maddox.

The two danced with their son Maddox in January 2021.

The two appeared with their kids Weslie and Maddox at the premiere of Disney’s Mulan reboot.

2019 New Year’s Eve, Allison posted a picture featuring her, Stephen, and their youngest children Maddox and Zaia. She reminisced about their loving journey in the caption.

What a fantastic ten years it’s been!” she posted on Instagram. During this decade, Weslie and I relocated to LA, I crossed paths with Stephen, fell head over heels in love, tied the knot, embarked on numerous travels, collected unforgettable moments from our professional journeys, made a mark as a dancer on So You Think You Can Dance, Hit The Floor, and Dancing with the Stars. I also hosted Disney’s Fairy Tale Weddings. My most cherished memories were the ones spent growing our family, welcoming our beautiful children! #decade #newyearseve #lookingbackonfuntimes #life #love #journey #memories #newyork @sir_twitch_alot.

40 weeks pregnant and expecting to deliver baby Zaia at any moment, Allison posted a dance video featuring Boss in November 2019.

At the premiere of Disney’s “Maleficent: Mistress of Evil,” they were accompanied by their children, Weslie and Maddox.

At the Hollywood premiere of Disney’s “Ralph Breaks the Internet”, the family consisting of the parents and children, Weslie and Maddox, were present.

2025-02-05 16:49

tWitch’s Ayahuasca Trip Changed Him, Says Allison Holker

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