Stop the presses—or, in this case, the scrolling. Reports are in that the Trump family, yes, *that* Trump family, has allegedly been chatting with Binance about buying a piece of the crypto pie. 🥧 Because when you’ve already got skyscrapers with your name on them, why not add a crypto exchange to your shopping cart?
Apparently, Binance slid into Trump’s DMs back in 2024, casually pitching a deal with the subtlety of a used car salesman on commission. The plan? To get Binance.US back in the game stateside. Meanwhile, The Wall Street Journal, the journalistic equivalent of your nosy neighbor, spilled the tea on March 13.
Oh, and here’s a plot twist straight out of a political soap opera: Binance’s CEO, Changpeng “CZ” Zhao, who once had a four-month “vacation” in an American prison, is reportedly pulling every string in a quest for a presidential pardon. (Can he throw in a set of steak knives to sweeten the deal? Asking for a friend.)
Quoting nameless sources with “familiarity” (read: totally someone with an iPhone and a big mouth), the WSJ says, “It is unclear what form the Trump family stake would take if the deal comes together or whether it would be contingent on a pardon.” Translation: Your guess is as good as ours. 🤷
Wait, There’s More Drama—Enter World Liberty Financial
In a move that screams, “Let’s keep this as complicated as possible,” the WSJ floated the idea of Trump snagging his Binance share through World Liberty Financial, a crypto venture that screams Trump-brand flair. Launched in September, it’s the crypto world’s equivalent of a country club: exclusive, a bit much, and probably featuring gold-plated membership cards.
Oh, and let’s not forget Trump crowning himself the first true “crypto president.” He dropped his Official Trump (TRUMP) memecoin like it was the hottest mixtape of 2025, just before his triumphant White House redux. Meanwhile, Melania dropped her own token, because clearly, crypto is the new family board game. Eric Trump? He’s out here waving Bitcoin flags like a tech bro who just discovered decentralization. 🚀
CryptoMoon reached out to Binance for comments, but—surprise, surprise—radio silence. Perhaps CZ is busy drafting his “Sorry for breaking the rules, here’s my pardon application” essay?
Trump vs. WSJ: Apocalypse Now?
Because no Trump story is complete without an all-caps rant, here’s some Truth Social gold: Minutes before the WSJ hit publish, Trump popped off, calling them “The Globalist Wall Street Journal” and accusing them of being under Europe’s sinister mind control. “Polluted thinking of the European Union… formed to screw the U.S.!” Can you smell the diplomacy? 🌍🤦♀️
As you can probably guess, this story’s not done cooking. Buckle up, folks—more crypto chaos is coming. 🍿
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2025-03-13 16:48