Okay, listen to this: some guy calling himself Trader Tardigrade—yeah, that’s a real name apparently—has an update on Dogecoin. He says it’s about to enter “Phase E.” (Can we talk about these phases for a second? Why do we need so many phases? It’s crypto, not the Apollo missions.) Supposedly, during this magical phase, Dogecoin might “rally to new highs.” Or, you know, not. 🐕💸
So Many Phases, My Head Hurts
Trader Tardigrade (still not over that name) dropped some wisdom on X—formerly known as Twitter, formerly known as a fun place. He’s got charts, he’s got lines, probably has a secret handshake too. DOGE is now in Phase D of the Wyckoff something-or-other. Lots of fancy letters flying around. There’s a TEST in Phase C, a Last Point of Support (LPS) in Phase D—seriously, is this a soap opera or a coin chart?
The chart—because there’s always a chart—shows the big “Last Point of Support” is at 17.4 cents. SOS, which I’m assuming isn’t a distress call here, is above 18 cents. Hit that, and boom, we’re entering Phase E, where apparently Dogecoin could sprint to $2.1. $2.1!! I mean, at that point, I’ll believe unicorns are real too. 🦄📈
Not done yet! Trader Tardigrade (honestly, was Larry Bird taken?) says we’re seeing an “inverse Head and Shoulders” pattern on the 4-hour chart. Inverse Head and Shoulders! Sounds like a Pilates move my physical therapist would recommend. This supposedly means DOGE could rebound to 18.3 cents. Sure, why not?
Meanwhile, Kingpin Crypto jumps in with his “bullish outlook.” I mean, everyone’s bullish in crypto, until they’re not. He’s convinced DOGE could fly past the psychological 20 cent mark. “Best chart right now.” Okay buddy, I’ve heard that before—usually right before it drops 50%.
Big Week, Big Promises ⚡️
Ali Martinez, yet another crypto sage, says Dogecoin’s in for a “big week.” (Big week for who, exactly?) According to him, if DOGE closes above 17 cents, it could go to 21, maybe even 29 cents… unless it doesn’t. There’s just one tiny catch: the “whales” are on the sidelines. That’s always reassuring, right? All the guys with the real money are “watching,” aka waiting to see how the rest of us mess it up first. 🐋
Let’s not forget, this entire thing is probably tied to whatever Bitcoin is doing. If Bitcoin wakes up on the right side of the bed and goes above $89,000, maybe, just maybe, DOGE can join the party. Otherwise, sip your coffee and temper those expectations.
For now, DOGE is hanging around 16 cents, down 3% in the last day. So, you know, typical Tuesday in cryptoland.
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2025-04-15 22:43