Ethereum or Meme Magic? You Won’t Believe Why Two Prime Jumped Ship 🚢💸

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If you ever wondered what happens when a financial advisor gets tired of cryptocurrency mood swings, wonder no more. Two Prime—a rather serious outfit with SEC approval and presumably a penchant for gray suits—has wrapped Ethereum in a blanket of sarcasm, ushered it out the door, and is now spooning Bitcoin with gusto. Apparently, watching Ethereum’s price over the past year was about as uplifting as a rainy picnic in Stoke-on-Trent.

Two Prime Drops Ethereum Over Memecoin Behaviour (Yes, Seriously)

So what finally broke the camel’s back? Two Prime, the people who lent money to people who like their loans sprinkled with a dash of crypto volatility, observed that Ethereum had started behaving with all the decorum of a teenager hopped up on vending-machine energy drinks. Its price action, they say, now resembles a memecoin’s impression of a rollercoaster—complete with spirals and unexpected nose-dives. Six years of romance, and now it’s just “thanks for the memories, but our true love is… Bitcoin.”

One can almost hear the collective shrug in Two Prime’s statement: After years of ETH and BTC-backed loans, they’ve simply had enough. No dabbling in minor altcoins for them. They liked deep liquidity (and possibly, deep pockets). After this split, all eyes—and wallets—focus on BTC.

You might wonder what prompted such a decisive move. A press release listed more reasons than a British weather forecast has ways to say “rainy.”

ETH is about as reliable as a GPS with a drinking problem. Hilarity ensued in Q1 2025, as ETH decided to perform “multi-standard deviation moves”—which is just a fancy way of saying it zigged when it should have zagged. Now, the Ethereum-to-Bitcoin ratio is ticking lower than a limbo champion, hitting five-year lows. Bravo?

The Sad, Strange Tale of Why ETH Lost Its Mojo

Let’s dig into the list of grievances. Aside from acting like Shiba Inu on a sugar high, ETH’s price recovery attempts have had all the energy of a Monday morning Zoom call. Investors, apparently unmoved by “buy the dip” memes, are giving ETH a wide berth—there’s less dip-buying and more dip-ignoring happening than at a particularly unpopular salsa bar.

Meanwhile, Bitcoin ETF inflows are outpacing ETH by a factor of 24. (If you listen carefully, you can hear institutional investors racking up airline miles just flying away from Ethereum.) There’s the small matter of Ethereum layer 2 chains siphoning off revenue, too. It’s almost like ETH is running a lemonade stand, but everyone else on the block has somehow convinced thirsty customers that tap water is artisanal.

Add to this the rise of Solana and other blockchains plotting a coup. Two Prime claims Ethereum has “strong leadership”—which, in this context, seems to mean “stubbornly ignoring every trend since 2018.” One expert, whose coffee was surely laced with brutal honesty, warns that ETH needs to scale up 100X in five years or face the digital wilderness. Ouch.

“The existing scale of the asset and the remaining upside of global adoption make BTC a far better risk-weighte investmen than ETH,” read the statement.

With all this, you’d be forgiven for thinking ETH is now the cryptocurrency equivalent of Betamax—once beloved, now mostly in the attic. ETH prices dropped almost 2% faster than you can say “should’ve bought Bitcoin.” Galaxy Digital also ditched some ETH to bulk up on Solana, making ETH’s price chart start to resemble ski slopes at Val d’Isère: all downhill, baby.

So, farewell, Ethereum. We’ll remember those wild, unpredictable times—mostly with a mixture of relief and lingering confusion. Bitcoin, on the other hand, seems like the stable big kid on the playground… until it isn’t. But that’s a story for another picnic.

🤷‍♂️🚀🐕‍🦺🍋

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2025-05-02 06:33