How Teen Mom's Cory and Cheyenne Talk to Daughter Ryder About Race

As a parent, hearing stories like Cheyenne and Cory’s resonates deeply with me. Their experiences remind us all of the importance of open conversations about race, even with our youngest children.

Instead of spending the day in carefree amusement, Cheyenne Floyd found herself confronted when a child at a play area in Los Angeles used a racist slur towards her daughter Ryder.

Instead of giving way to anger, the “Teen Mom: The Next Chapter” star chose to channel her feelings differently, saying in an exclusive interview with TopMob News, “I decided it was best to focus on Ryder, as I didn’t want her to see me upset too. You see, Ryder was seeking justice and was quite angry herself at the moment. So, I thought, ‘Let me explain to Ryder why this is wrong and why she should be upset.'”

31-year-old [woman] expressed a quiet thankfulness that her husband of two years, Zach Davis, and Ryder’s father, Cory Wharton, were distant (approximately 2,000 miles) at present, filming a guy’s trip for the MTV reality series.

Before Cheyenne had a chance to locate a manager to handle the escalating situation, “We encountered the other child’s father instead,” she reminisced, “and I believe that if the staff members had been present, it could have led to a much more serious incident.”

Instead, it morphed into a learning opportunity – an incident that Cheyenne hadn’t intentionally prepared for when she phoned her spouse to update him about the predicament at hand.

Cheyenne clarified that she wasn’t recording at the time, “I hadn’t realized there were cameras nearby capturing our conversation. In that heated moment, I called Zach, who then joined forces with Cory to address the situation immediately.”

In my commitment to raise my children, Mila (age 4) and Maya (age 2), with a deep understanding of racial justice, I engaged in a live conversation on camera with Color of Change, an influential online organization focused on racial equity. As a parent, I believe it’s crucial to navigate the complexities of racism effectively, and this dialogue was instrumental in helping me do just that. Additionally, my partner Cheyenne and Zach share a 3-year-old son named Ace. Together, we are all dedicated to instilling these values in our children.

Growing up in Michigan, Cory had faced racism, which he recognized as only one of several challenging experiences that lay ahead for him.

The 33-year-old admitted as much to TopMob News, pointing out that he and Cheyenne understand that racism may persist throughout their lives. However, they are focusing on readying Ryder and caring for him instead of trying to end racism in their lifetime.

What this essentially translates to is telling her that people’s feelings towards her are beyond her control, and not everyone she encounters will necessarily wish to become her friend. He went on to say that understanding this can be challenging for Ryder.

Despite being unable to alter the narrow-mindedness of the global populace, they can make certain that their children are equipped to navigate such individuals effectively.

Cheyenne explained, “It’s crucial to teach Ryder self-advocacy skills since there will be instances when we won’t be present. In those situations, how would she respond? Or, what if you witness a friend in an unfair situation or even a stranger? How can she stand up for them? How can she voice her concerns?”

And sometimes those lessons look a lot like watching TV.

Ryder particularly enjoys the animated series on Netflix called Karma’s World. In one episode, a young character with curly hair was frequently touched by her schoolmates. Interestingly enough, when Ryder arrived home, they shared that someone at their own school had been touching their hair in a similar manner and advised them to straighten it.

Cheyenne went on to say that they had watched a show where Karma was singing about the beauty of her curly hair at the end. The following day, Ryder learned this song and sang it to a classmate who kept trying to touch her own hair. She beamed with pride as she told me all about it.

Cheyenne concluded by saying, “When I heard my daughter retell the incident, it struck me that having these discussions isn’t as challenging as one might think. We engaged in a cartoon discussion during the day and used a bedtime story from a children’s book to explain complex ideas. Others could follow a similar approach.”

Cory and Cheyenne both emphasized that the main lesson they gained from their meeting with Color of Change was the significance of studying diligently.

“Cory mentioned that he reads to his daughters and adds a bit of interaction by asking them questions,” he said. “He inquires, ‘What did you learn on that last page we read?'”

If you’re aiming to expand your collection of books, Cheyenne suggests you simply type into Amazon, “Children’s Books for representation,” followed by specific ethnicities such as Hispanic, Black, or Asian. This way, Amazon will conveniently organize the results for you, making your search effortless.

More recently, the former contestant of Are You The One? further explained, “I searched Amazon for ‘Curly hair representation for young Black girls.’ I purchased all of them. It’s quite straightforward; you simply need to search and make the purchase.”

Her other recommendation also involves just a few clicks of a keyboard.

Cheyenne shared, “When I suggested ways for your home to be more inclusive, I pointed out that when Ryder visits, she doesn’t see any dolls that resemble her. However, when she comes to our place, we have a variety of diverse dolls representing different abilities and backgrounds. The following time you visited, your house was filled with all sorts of dolls, and Ryder chose one that looked like her. It’s surprisingly simple to make such a small change.”

And, yes, it can feel scary to talk to your kids about racism. As Cory put it, “I don’t want to tell my 7-year-old that Santa doesn’t exist.”

And yet, for Cheyenne, the alternative can be even more terrifying.

“In our family discussions, I find myself engaging even the little ones more often, especially my energetic nephew who’s only five. It’s crucial for him to grasp the nuances early on. Right now, we’re explaining things to him because he needs to know why certain actions are off-limits. He’s encountered situations where I have to say, ‘You can’t do that, as it could lead to consequences like…‘”

One of the stories they’ve told involves an instance when their cousin once played a relatively innocent trick called “ring-and-run” (which is similar to ding-dong ditch, where you ring someone else’s doorbell, quickly leave, then enjoy the fun of your childhood prank).

Cheyenne remarked, “She was the only Black friend among her white peers, yet it was she who attracted the police’s ire. It’s crucial to realize that not everyone enjoys the same advantages, and this is one of those instances. Sadly, we often need to have these challenging discussions earlier than we’d like. I wish things were different, but that’s just the way it is.”

But that doesn’t mean each chat has to be filled with literal life-and-death implications.

Cory shared, “I have three daughters here, each distinctively unique like Skittles. The funny thing is, people often question if Maya is mine because she has red hair and blue eyes. It’s amazing how genetics can play out, isn’t it? We’re quite diverse as a family, both mine and Chy’s. This diversity allows us to educate the next generation on doing what’s right. We strive as parents to guide them towards the good.”

Absolutely Cheyenne, I believe one of the reasons we sometimes hesitate to discuss important topics with our children is because we view them as young, innocent, and pure, and we want to preserve that aspect. However, given the reality of the world we inhabit, particularly today, it’s crucial that we equip them with the necessary knowledge.

And overall, she added, just remind them that it’s cool to be kind.

Cheyenne emphasized the importance of teaching kids to be compassionate advocates, promoting equality, and simply being kind-hearted. She added that it’s surprisingly easy to show kindness.

2024-08-22 13:18

How Teen Mom’s Cory and Cheyenne Talk to Daughter Ryder About Race

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