“I was nervous of what they would find”

As I delve deeper into the compelling narrative of Jessica Ennis-Hill, I find myself deeply moved by her resilience and strength, qualities that echo profoundly in her ancestors’ lives. Her journey from an Olympic champion to a mental health advocate is not just a testament to her personal growth but also a reflection of her heritage’s indomitable spirit.

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Jess Ennis-Hill vowed to keep her emotions in check while appearing on the BBC series Who Do You Think You Are?, stating that she usually weeps in private. During her athletic career, she maintained a poker face and didn’t reveal much. However, even she couldn’t hold back the tears when the cameras were rolling. This wasn’t unexpected given the moving revelations about her family history she encountered.

At a London studio, we gather for Ennis-Hill’s photoshoot. The 38-year-old mother of two is striking poses in a radiant red suit, showcasing her athletic form that mirrors the one she displayed when triumphing at the 2012 Olympics with the heptathlon gold medal. Ennis-Hill, who boasts three world championships to her name, carries a naturally bright personality; however, even she has been affected by the distressing revelations. “I never thought it would affect me this much,” she shares.

Despite being hailed as one of Britain’s toughest and most inspiring athletes, having excelled in the heptathlon (a competition involving seven events over two days: 100m hurdles, high jump, shot put, 200m, long jump, javelin, and 800m), she confessed that she was petrified at the prospect of participating in a genealogy series, which is currently marking its 20th anniversary.

As someone who has spent a significant portion of my life delving into family history, I understand the apprehension that comes with uncovering the past, especially when it involves digging deep into one’s bloodline. The uncertainty and fear of what might be lurking in the shadows can be overwhelming. In this case, the speaker is worried about potentially discovering a dark secret like a serial killer in their family history. It’s understandable to feel anxious when considering the implications such a discovery could have on one’s sense of identity and self.

“I was nervous of what they would find”

She had pondered participating in the show during past seasons, but her anxiety usually prevailed. However, something has shifted recently. “My children are a bit older now,” she explained. “My son just turned ten a few days back, while my daughter is six. It seemed like the right moment to take this step since they’re at an age where they absorb so much and are curious about their family.”

Born in Sheffield, Ennis-Hill was nurtured by her mother Alison, a social worker, and her father Vinnie, a painter and decorator, who had relocated to the UK at 13. Of all questions that have intrigued her throughout her life, one stands out – a question she longed to uncover through exploring her family’s roots: what is the origin of her formidable strength and athletic abilities?

Her parents often credited her early consumption of blended tripe, a traditional Jamaican dish, as the reason behind her strength and athletic prowess. According to her, however, it’s likely that her lineage played a larger role in her achievements, so she traced other accomplished athletes with Jamaican heritage.

Inquired if she traced any notable sports figures within her ancestry? She grins. “No, I didn’t come across any athletes or sports enthusiasts.” However, during my initial trip to Jamaica, I unearthed a far more remarkable demonstration of power instead.

What if they find something awful, like there’s a serial killer in the family?

In her documentary, local historians uncover her ancestry to George Thomas White, a former slave on a sugar plantation. Upon visiting the plantation, she appears visibly disturbed by its beauty, remarking, “It was an unsettling sensation; the house and gardens were so pristine, yet the weight of history hung heavy.”

In a remarkable turn of events, it was found out that White, born into slavery in 1795 and forced to work as a cooper making barrels for rum, eventually purchased a portion of the land he had been enslaved upon. After the abolition of slavery, the British government established an “apprenticeship” system where the formerly enslaved were required to labor for 40.5 hours weekly without compensation, but could earn minimal wages as “hired hands” for any additional hours. Remarkably, White declined extra work on the plantation, instead finding ways to generate income independently. He eventually acquired the land from his former slave owner for £160. Ennis-Hill departed Jamaica with a deep sense of admiration for White’s indomitable spirit.

She journeyed to Jamaica alongside her father Vinnie, who last visited the island during his teenage years, for the project. Previously, she’d pondered why he never returned. Yet, it’s best not to inquire too deeply about such matters, she notes.

Over time, Vinnie grew more forthcoming about the hardships he faced in leaving Jamaica and settling in Britain. He transitioned from a cherished nation to one where he encountered racism and felt like an outsider. Additionally, this move led to a distressing family rift. To put it simply, his father was the first to migrate, leaving him behind with his brother. Later, his parents moved to America without him. Instead of returning to Jamaica, he stayed with his grandparents here, which is why he felt disconnected and apprehensive about going back. In simpler words, it was a challenging and traumatic experience for Vinnie’s father to move to England. His parents came first, leaving him behind with his brother, then they moved to America without him. Rather than return to Jamaica, he lived with his grandparents here, so that’s why he felt disconnected and anxious about going back.

“Did coming back bring a sense of release to him?” She affirmed, beaming with enthusiasm. “Absolutely, he considered it an exceptional trip. They departed on his birthday, and he’d been diagnosed with prostate cancer not too long before. With everything happening in his life, the timing couldn’t have been better. He kept exclaiming, ‘Wow, Jess! This is incredible!'” Her face glows at the recollection.

As a film enthusiast delving into my family history, I found myself unraveling another century-old enigma from my maternal line: the disappearance of my great-great-grandmother Maud in 1919. We had always been told that she left her young children with a kiss and never returned, but the truth was far more heartbreaking. In the course of an investigative television show, I learned that Maud had actually been institutionalized in psychiatric hospitals until her death. This tragic twist was unknown to our family, leaving us clueless about her fate for all these years.

In the initial phase of Maud’s stay at the hospital, when she was still there, her 11-year-old daughter passed away unbeknownst to Maud. This tale is deeply sad on numerous accounts and affects many people, such as Jess’s great-grandfather who never discussed his mother. Sadly, Maud missed out on meeting her grandchildren and great-grandchildren, and Ennis-Hill finds it agonizing even to contemplate this scenario.

“This scenario crossed my mind: ‘Suppose I were suddenly taken to a mental institution, separated from my children forever, and my little girl passed away while I was there, without anyone informing me.’ I find it unbearable to contemplate such a situation.”

It remained unclear if Maud was institutionalized due to her illness or her free-thinking nature. Interestingly, it was discovered that she had once filed a lawsuit against her spouse, claiming domestic violence; however, she later chose to drop the case.

She expresses her viewpoint by saying, “Certain aspects of her behavior as a woman were not socially acceptable, she says. Back then, women were often scrutinized and expected to adhere to specific norms. However, this individual refused to conform, leading me to wonder if perhaps her non-conformity was the reason she found herself in this asylum.”

Although records indicate she displayed aggressive behavior and during her time, discussing mental health was considered taboo, it seemed more acceptable for her husband to explain her departure from the family than disclose she was in an asylum. On the other hand, Ennis-Hill, a psychology graduate from the University of Sheffield, has consistently emphasized the significance of open dialogue about mental health issues.

During her professional journey, she received immense backing from her family, trainers, physicians, and psychotherapist. Despite this, she openly admits that she struggled with anxiety. It’s hard not to in such a pressure-filled setting. She often felt apprehensive and jittery as an athlete due to the uncertainties involved. What she yearned for was a crystal ball and someone who could predict the future and assure her, “This is what will happen, and it’s all going to turn out fine.”

Currently, she expresses her worries are focused on the wellbeing of her children. She admits that this concern can lead to additional stressful thoughts, especially when contemplating their future as they grow older. Despite her kids being only ten and six years old at present, she finds herself pondering about their adolescent years and potential activities, which often leads to worrying. However, her husband questions the necessity of such thoughts, finding it unusual, to which she responds by saying that many mothers tend to think ahead and worry about even minor details.

As a devoted admirer, I’d affirm that she appears exceptionally content and mentally robust, expressing profound joy and gratitude for her fulfilling career journey without any significant scars. However, she expresses deep concern about the current state of mental health among our young generation. She believes it’s at an all-time low, with ongoing struggles stemming from the aftermath of the pandemic. This is evident in cases of children shying away from school and the detrimental impact of social media on their wellbeing.

I feel very lucky to have had the career I’ve had and come out of it pretty unscathed

As a parent who has seen the impact of technology on my own children’s development, I firmly believe that introducing a phone to a child before they reach senior school is premature and potentially detrimental. From personal observation, I have noticed that phones can be addictive, causing constant interruptions in daily activities as one is constantly checking for updates.

When we catch up with her, Ennis-Hill is almost ready to depart for Paris as part of the BBC’s Olympics commentary crew. Does it seem like 2012 was ages ago? “Well, yes and no. It seems somewhat recent, yet it’s also vividly clear in my memory. However, a great deal has transpired in these past 12 years, my life has undergone remarkable transformations.”

Reflecting back on my journey from 2012 to a few years after, I was undeniably consumed by a relentless pursuit of self-improvement. The day-to-day grind was all about carving out that regimented structure, pushing myself to be the best version of me – it was me, me, me. Looking back now, I can’t help but acknowledge my selfishness during that time. It took a singular focus on my performance and personal growth to reach such heights, yet it came at the expense of other aspects of my life.

In the television series “Who Do You Think You Are?“, Jess appears kind, insightful, and intelligent. Upon discovering details about her great-great-grandmother and fourth-generation great-grandfather, she recognizes a shared experience that deepens her appreciation for her fortunate existence. “Both of my ancestors were robbed of their identity,” she remarks. “Tracking down a name for my fourth-generation great-grandfather was challenging; he was merely a number, a slave. Similarly, Maud was given a hospital patient number rather than being recognized as an individual when she was admitted.”

In uncovering the attempts by society to obliterate her ancestors’ existence, she simultaneously gained knowledge about their indomitable spirit. Despite enduring half a century in an asylum, Maud demonstrated remarkable strength, and her son Jack (Jess’s cherished great-grandfather) overcame his challenging beginnings to establish a thriving life for himself.

Speaking of her fourth-generation great-grandfather, she’s deeply impressed by the mental fortitude required to endure slavery. “The emotional impact of such an ordeal could have lingering negative consequences across generations. Yet he managed to transform that hardship into prosperity, even purchasing land, including some where he was once enslaved, and creating a remarkable future for himself. It’s truly an inspiring tale.”

She may not have descended from top-tier athletes, yet she is convinced she’s traced back her strength. “It seems that tenacity and concentration must have been passed down somehow through the generations, perhaps through his parenting skills and how he taught them to raise their own children. This legacy continues to be inherited.”

You can see the episode featuring Jessica Ennis-Hill’s story later in the series

2024-08-07 14:35

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