As I delve into the poignant tale of Dana and Chris Reeve, I am struck by their extraordinary resilience and grace under unimaginable circumstances. Their journey, filled with triumphs and tribulations, serves as an inspiring testament to the indomitable human spirit.
For approximately 10 minutes, Christopher Reeve considered taking his own life. However, when his wife, Dana Reeve, urged him to hold on and reevaluate his feelings in two years, he understood her intentions.
Reflections on a New Life,” that she employed an age-old sales tactic. This tactic involves giving customers a chance to try something for free or sample it without any commitment or initial payment, with the aim of hooking them in.
However, on a more profound level, where our mutual affection and regard for one another has persisted, she understood that I was experiencing the initial phase of a normal response to adversity. Requesting patience from me was the ideal strategy. She was providing space and autonomy, allowing me to make a decision, yet intuiting what that choice would be in due time.
Chris narrated an incident that transpired in the Intensive Care Unit, which took place a few days following his fall from a horse during an equestrian event on May 27, 1995. The medical professionals termed his injury as “complete,” meaning his spinal cord was severed at the C-2 vertebra, preventing his brain from communicating with the rest of his body. As a result, he became paralyzed from the neck down and required assistance to breathe.
In a conversation on Larry King Live the following year, the actor expressed thoughts such as: “When I understood my circumstances, I wondered if I was causing too much trouble. If this would be too difficult for everyone. If I should simply give up.” However, his wife, Dana – a woman of exceptional beauty and character – stopped him with a single statement. She said, “But you’re still you, and I love you. That settles it.
Looking at his children – Matthew, Alexandra (from his relationship with Gae Exton), and their shared son William – it became clear to him that he had no option other than to stay put.
Despite navigating life with a motorized wheelchair and relying on a ventilator for breathing, he persisted in acting, creating, and directing work. He authored two books by dictating to an assistant, championed improved care and insurance for the disabled community, and raised funds for the organization that was later known as the Christopher Reeve Foundation.
In his 2002 book, Chris observed that Dana’s assumption about how he would feel two years post-accident turned out to be accurate. He expressed gratitude for being alive, not as a duty towards others, but because he found life meaningful.
Additionally, he transformed into a more active parent, and currently at the age of 32, Will Reeve – who was almost three when his father’s accident took place – recalls his dad as someone consistently available to him.
Reflecting on TopMob News, he shared an exclusive insight before the September 21 launch of the documentary Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story. He recounted, “Any significant event—the first day at school, birthdays, holidays—he was always present.” This included teaching him how to ride a bike, an experience that held special significance since his father had once believed such moments might never come true for him.
As we were a pair, each significant moment in my journey was also a notable event in his, according to him, and that wheelchair never dimmed his light.
Chris’ declared ambition was to regain the ability to walk – a 2000 Super Bowl commercial by Nuveen Investments, featuring the actor standing up and walking thanks to special effects, left many amazed – and he advocated for embryonic stem cell research to address spinal cord injuries and severe neurological disorders.
As his causes were inexorably adopted by her too, and due to her unwavering presence beside him, the actress from New Jersey was later acclaimed as an extraordinary woman for her remarkable resilience.
Perhaps she indeed embodied saintly qualities. Yet, she was deeply engrossed in love and held responsibilities towards her family, so she refrained from excessive praise or exaggeration.
In 1997, Dana expressed to Good Housekeeping that she found it disconcerting when people thought of her in that manner. However, she made it clear that she was taking action because there seemed to be no other choice. She likened the event to being unexpectedly drenched by a bucket of water – a shockingly traumatic and life-changing experience.
In 1998, Dana stated to the New York Times that she was more than just a caretaker for him; she felt it was essential for her to be his wife, not his nurse. Although she occasionally helps with his hair shampooing, as it’s an intimate and sensual act, Chris is quite resilient. However, he has moments when he feels low and hits rock bottom. At these times, I simply listen and try to find ways to offer support. A comforting physical touch also seems to help him.
In simpler terms, Alexandra Reeve Givens, Chris’ daughter and mother to 9-year-old Christopher Russell Reeve Givens (with husband Garren Givens), shared with TopMob that her most cherished scene in the documentary is a home video snippet captured by her brother Matthew. This video features Dana making coffee for her husband, then joining him in bed as he sips it through a straw.
Alexandra mentioned that watching the movie was akin to spending two hours reconnecting with her family, as it beautifully portrayed ordinary, familiar instances of family life.
Chris shared during an interview on Larry King Live in 1997 that his marriage with Dana was joyful before an accident and in some sense, even more blissful for him afterwards. He expressed that because every moment now feels incredibly precious, as he had nearly died twice in 1995. This near-death experience brought him back from the brink, and the realization that they share each moment, place, and sight in a new, enlightened way, fills him with a sense of triumph.
And “I seriously tested the marriage vows,” he added. “You talk about ‘in sickness and health.’ We got more than we bargained for. But the fact is, Dana never flinched.”
In June of 1987, they crossed paths for the first time. He was acting in a play and she was performing at a cabaret during the Williamstown Theater Festival in Massachusetts. Initially, Dana had her doubts about the tall, charming man, who had just come out of a decade-long relationship with business executive Exton, the model.
In 1999, Dana conveyed to Total Theater that she wanted to understand his feelings clearly. If it was just about sharing summer vacation stories, they could certainly do that, but she needed more than that since their relationship was still new. He had been expressing his love for her and imagining a lifetime together, which seemed unusual given his past experiences with multiple women. So, she asked, “Hold on a moment. Are you being affectionate to win me over?
However, Dana developed feelings for both Superman and Clark Kent, appreciating that the graduate of Cornell University and alumnus of Juilliard possessed a remarkable intelligence.
For a number of years, they cohabited until, during one evening meal, he unexpectedly proposed by saying, “I just set down my fork and asked her to become my wife,” as he described in his 1998 memoir titled “Still Me“. The title of the book was derived from his wife’s encouraging words that “you’re still you”.
In the pages of “Nothing Is Impossible,” I confess that the prospect of marriage has always filled me with apprehension. This fear, perhaps, stems from the fact that marital bliss seems to have eluded many generations in my family history. After all, I was just four when my parents parted ways, a stark reminder of the complexities and challenges that lie within the bonds of matrimony.
However, when he and Dana exchanged their vows on the 11th of April, 1992, he firmly felt that those promises were genuine.
Will was born two months later, on June 7.
Ever since I stumbled upon that cherished snapshot from my first birthday, featuring me sporting those adorable cow ears and sharing a moment with my beloved parents as we planted a tree outside our home in Pound Ridge, New York, it has held a special place of honor by my bedside in every single residence I’ve ever called home.
Approximately two years after his debut, Chris, who first mastered horse-riding for a 1985 adaptation of ‘Anna Karenina’ and began competing in 1989, unfortunately suffered an accident at the Commonwealth Dressage and Combined Training Association located in Culpepper, Virginia.
In a conversation with The New York Times in 1998, he expressed that what infuriated him most was not taking unnecessary risks, as he put it. Referencing the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) handbook, he further explained that the rule he always followed in all sports was to ensure the outcome of any maneuver should never be questionable or uncertain.
And his family had no choice but to adjust to their new normal.
Dana shared with the New York Times that the change from before to after the incident was nearly overwhelming. She seldom talks about the accident, but on one occasion, she did share about it for Chris’ book.
Additionally, Chris shared with the newspaper that they managed to handle his care expenses, which included a dedicated team of 10 nurses and 5 aides working around the clock.
After Christopher returned to work following his accident, earning an Emmy nomination for directing “In the Gloaming” (1997) and winning a SAG Award for his role in the wheelchair-bound detective series “Rear Window” remake, Dana also resumed her career.
As a lifestyle advisor, I’d put it this way: “In 2005, on Larry King Live, I proudly shared that our family thrived on the stage. My husband, Chris, was not just a supportive partner but an exceptionally hands-on father. When our son, Will, transitioned from requiring physical care to needing emotional support – a ride and some encouragement – Chris stepped up effortlessly.
In 1999, during rehearsals for a play titled “Enter the Guardsman“, Dana expressed that while her family remained her top priority, she felt more fulfilled and capable when dedicating herself to a career path she enjoyed, as she stated to Total Theater.
After the accident, she mentioned that life tends to shift into a unique rhythm and a new understanding of what’s considered normal. Although it may appear less intense or distressing than before, she continues to avoid job opportunities requiring prolonged stays away from home.
In the autumn of 2004, Dana was acting in a play titled “Brooklyn Boy” located in Costa Mesa, California. She mentioned to Larry King that she would travel from there to New York City for “actors’ weekends,” which took place from Sunday to Tuesday.
On October 9th, 2004, Saturday was a particularly memorable day for Chris. He reminisced about it. That day, he went to watch Will’s hockey game (where his team emerged victorious), had a conversation with then-presidential candidate Senator John Kerry over the phone, chatted with Dana (who expressed her eagerness to return home), and enjoyed watching the Yankees play on television.
However, that evening, she stepped down from the stage only to receive a request to contact her husband’s physician. Unfortunately, Chris, who had been grappling with health issues stemming from his accident, had experienced a heart attack and was currently admitted to the hospital.
Marsha Garces-Williams, Robin Williams’ second spouse, swiftly arranged a private plane trip for Dana to travel back eastward. At that time, Chris was alive but in a coma when Dana arrived at Northern Westchester Hospital; it was there where he passed away on October 10th.
Dana mentioned that some individuals asked her if she felt like she needed to bid farewell, to which she replied, “For nearly a decade, it seems as though we’ve been having our final goodbyes. I believe one should engage in the dialogue, and I feel like we accomplished that.
They often discussed death due to the high-risk nature of our lives, she clarified. We faced numerous challenges and hardships, and since living with a spinal cord injury frequently puts us in life-threatening situations, we regularly encountered difficult issues. Yet, we were not hesitant to engage in deep conversations about these topics.
It’s thought that Chris might have had a drug reaction, which contributed to his passing at the age of 52, according to Dana, despite the official cause of death being heart failure.
As a lifestyle expert, I’d rephrase it like this: “This individual had an unusual sensitivity to certain stimuli. For instance, others might not react at all, but he would, often on the third or fourth try where others were fine. In this specific situation, it seems that his heightened response led to a chain reaction of unfortunate events from which he couldn’t recover.
The family conducted a memorial service at the Unitarian Church in Westport, Connecticut, which Chris and Dana had been frequent attendees since his accident. Although Chris wasn’t particularly religious, he valued the warm community. In his 2002 book, “Gradually I have come to believe that spirituality isn’t confined to specific practices or beliefs; instead, it lies in how we conduct ourselves daily, focusing on others.
Dana informed Larry that Chris desired his memorial to be more of a celebration. However, she expressed her feelings, saying, “To be honest, I’m not really in the mood for a party.” She then made amends by acknowledging, “But I did honor his life, and there was certainly much to celebrate about him. In his 52 years on earth, he achieved so many remarkable things.
After taking up the role as chair of the Christopher Reeve Foundation, Dana was ready to continue her husband’s mission, focusing on fundraising for research, supporting care programs for those affected by paralysis, and advocating before Congress for stronger rights and protections for individuals with disabilities.
She also still hoped to make her Broadway debut, a dream deferred after Chris died.
Back in August 2005, I learned from Dana herself that she was fighting against lung cancer. Being a non-smoker, I was absolutely stunned when she revealed her diagnosis to Entertainment Tonight. It left me utterly surprised and concerned for her wellbeing.
At a charity event for their foundation in November 2005, she expressed that her deceased spouse served as an exceptional role model in maintaining optimism. She emphasized, “I was wedded to a man who never surrendered his hope.
So far, she added, “I’m beating the odds and defying every statistic the doctors can throw at me.”
however, her health deteriorated, and sadly, Dana passed away on March 6, 2006, at the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in Manhattan. At that time, she was 44 years old.
Approximately a year ago, she expressed on Larry King’s show, “I believe that at times, we underestimate the value and richness of our lives.
Through Chris’s unfortunate accident, they both gained a profound appreciation for their possessions and the blessings of life. It’s an ironic yet beautiful lesson often learned with disabilities – you come to deeply understand the value of the gifts you possess.
The reasons stated previously are likely why people who enjoy theater productions find themselves emotionally moved simply by viewing the trailer for the movie “Super/Man,” and it’s safe to assume that their feelings would be even more intense if they were to watch the whole film.
Matthew Reeve shared with TopMob News that the family heirloom – his dad’s framed ‘S’ from his Superman costume, now in his son’s room – indeed stirs a variety of feelings, encompassing joyful recollections, deep sorrow, and profound sadness. Moreover, listening to his sister and half-brother share their unique perspectives on certain aspects of the story was not an easy task but one that presented a fresh and intriguing perspective.
13-year-old Will, having lost his mother, fully grasped the depth of their bond. “We’re incredibly close and protective towards each other,” he expressed, “it was challenging at times to witness how differently we all coped with this shared ordeal.
He added, “Seeing my mom and dad in all their glory brings me back to a happy place, but one that’s tinged with sadness, of course. And I give space and hold weight equally for those things, because that’s part of the human experience.”
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2024-09-21 10:19