As someone who has followed Jennifer Lopez’s career since her “Jenny From The Block” days, it’s been quite a rollercoaster watching this relationship with Ben Affleck unfold. With their high-profile wedding anniversary passing without a peep from either side and the subtle signs of separation like missing birthday shoutouts and sightings without wedding rings, the speculation about their relationship status has been palpable.
Well, that was invigorating while it lasted.
Following several months of rumors suggesting that the marriage between Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck was on its last legs, Lopez officially ended their union by filing for divorce on August 20th.
Their date of separation? April 26, according to court documents.
Essentially, there’s not much that can surprise millions of curious people, given the significant and ongoing investment in the renewed relationship between Bennifer. As soon as a fissure emerged in the newly reinforced foundation, inspectors were on constant alert, fearing the entire structure might collapse at any moment.
Before the return of Bennifer demonstrated that certain events should ideally happen only once in a lifetime, this narrative revolved around rediscovered affection, fresh starts, and individual development.
Not to mention the portmanteau that started a really exhausting trend.
19 years prior to their reunion on April 30, 2021, when Affleck was seen visiting Lopez’s house, is actually when the story between them originally started.
In less than an hour after the hint of a possibility was announced, it seemed as though recent happenings lost their significance as people were transported joyously by social media to a more straightforward era (interestingly, one that preceded social media).
2020, before the pandemic, saw a glimpse of a time reminiscent of that era, as Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt’s reunion at the SAG Awards sparked speculation among many that things might be gradually returning to normal.
Visitor, it appears the globe didn’t correct its course. Yet, Lopez and Affleck reuniting seemed to resonate in a similar fashion—sweet, effortless, and remarkably trivial, yet urgently significant in the realm of popular culture.
And this ambulance turned out to be worth chasing.
In no time at all, they threw open the doors, stepped out, and loudly announced to everyone: “We’ve returned, and oh, how magnificent we are!”
If my recollection is correct, that wasn’t Ben Affleck’s usual approach in the past. However, things have changed and that’s him now… Isn’t that so?
In a surprising 180 from days gone by, the development of their relationship was heavily focused on in the documentary The Greatest Love Story Never Told, released in February. Although primarily centered around J.Lo’s personal journey of self-love, it turned out that within the film, she found herself with the man she referred to as her soulmate.
As a lifestyle expert, I’d rephrase it as follows: While Jason B. Bergh handled the directorial duties, it was Affleck who conducted the interview – a role that felt more comfortable for him compared to being the focus of attention and allowing his story to be narrated by others.
Affleck, who was featured in Lopez’s album companion visual This Is Me…Now, commented during the Amazon Prime feature: “I truly appreciated the beauty, poetry, and irony in the fact that it’s the most significant love story untold. If you’re creating a record about it, it seems like you’re already telling the story.”
Reservations about participating aside, he did it for her.
“Ben Affleck confessed he’s not thrilled about the behind-the-scenes film documenting his personal life, expressing relief that it appears he won’t be heavily featured. Despite initial concerns, it seems he may only have a minor role. The movie isn’t about him, but rather explores self-love and finding such love is more challenging than discovering Prince Charming.”
Is it as difficult as trying to find Cinderella’s Prince Charming? Going through the heartache of losing him, coping with it, rebuilding your life, and then pondering whether or not to dance again in the ballroom.
18 years apart, Lopez and her ex-husband, both parents of multiple children, reunited in her Los Angeles home. This unexpected move sparked quite a reaction from their old online community, once known as Twitterverse.
Looking back on the 18-month romance I once cherished, now tucked away as a nostalgic relic, it’s baffling why it still stirs such strong emotions. Why do certain celebrity pairings—even though each has traversed so much since—hold such a profound impact on our hearts and minds? It’s as if these memories, frozen in time like amber, unexpectedly resurface when the chance arises, leaving an indelible mark that refuses to fade.
In May 2016, Lopez expressed to People that if things had been different at different times, maybe something else would have occurred, but there was a sincere affection present.
She added, “We never intended for our relationship to become public. Coincidentally, we were both in the spotlight when the tabloids emerged, which was quite unexpected. It was almost like a shock, ‘Oh my goodness!’ There was immense pressure due to the situation.”
Affleck expressed a similar perspective during an episode of The Hollywood Reporter’s Awards Chatter podcast in January 2021, stating, “My relationship with Jennifer Lopez coincided with the explosive growth of that particular tabloid story. They discovered there was a much larger market for their product than they had been catering to.”
As a lifestyle aficionado, I must say, the media has truly struck a rich vein with Bennifer. They’re spinning tales left and right, almost as if they’re unsure if it’s the genuine article.
So if you weren’t there, here’s what it was like, then:
Instead of commonly being associated with the end of their relationship, it was during the making of the 2003 film, which ultimately flopped both critically and commercially, that Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck first crossed paths. (The cast included Al Pacino, Christopher Walken; it seemed promising on paper.)
Initially, Halle Berry was set to star in the female lead role (a part not associated with the main character, as Ben Affleck played Larry Gigli), but scheduling conflicts due to her work on X-Men 2 arose. This allowed Jennifer Lopez to join the romantic crime film towards the end of 2001 instead. A turn of events similar to when Nicole Kidman dropped out from Mr. and Mrs. Smith, paving the way for Angelina Jolie to step in.
In March 2002, after they had finished wrapping up their project, Affleck published a full-page appreciation for Lopez in the entertainment trade publications.
As a seasoned professional who has collaborated with countless individuals throughout my career, I must say that working with you has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. Your kindness, dedication, diligence, and humility are truly inspiring, qualities that not only make you an exceptional colleague but also a beautiful human being.
Signed, ”With love, respect and gratitude, Ben Affleck.”
Despite the speculations, he maintained that they were merely friends. Since September 2001, Lopez has been wedded to dancer Cris Judd, her second spouse.
Affleck subsequently shared with Vanity Fair that transgressing that boundary would have violated his “basic principles.” However, he elaborated on their relationship’s evolution, stating, “Things changed when she informed me about her separation. At that moment, it became a potential scenario; opportunities presented themselves.”
Lopez finalized her divorce from Judd in June 2002.
The artist from On the 6 expressed a deep respect for marriage, yet she feels that if two people aren’t genuinely content together, it might be more beneficial to either invest time in trying to make things work or to find a resolution and move forward. She voiced this perspective after her brief second marriage.
By July 2002, she had already started dating Affleck, who had ended his on-again, off-again relationship with Gwyneth Paltrow, her co-star in “Shakespeare in Love”, and was fresh from acting roles in “Pearl Harbor” and “The Sum of All Fears”.
He and Lopez, both well-known figures, appeared to be well-prepared for their joint fame. In an interview with Vanity Fair, he clarified that the charming advertisement was not only a gesture of gratitude but also aimed to debunk any malicious gossip suggesting she might be difficult to work with on set – a speculation that initially caused him some apprehension about collaborating with her.
He expressed, within the professional circle, his desire to set things straight by acknowledging, “It was an absolute joy collaborating with her.” He added, “She’s more dedicated than anyone I’ve ever encountered in my career. I thought I was busy juggling movies, TV shows, and writing, but I felt fully occupied until I met her. Not only was she involved in all that, but she was also recording albums on weekends!”
Just a short while before Bennifer made a comeback in 2021, Affleck shared with InStyle, “She is, even to this moment, the most hardworking individual I’ve encountered within this industry. She possesses immense talent, yet she has also worked tirelessly for her achievements. I am genuinely thrilled to see that she, finally, appears to be receiving the recognition she deserves.”
They playfully poked fun at the excessive public scrutiny their relationship received, as their “Jenny From the Block” music video began with them being monitored, even during private moments at home. There are also scenes of them at a café, on a hotel balcony and driving, with Affleck looking brooding while pumping gas, and the paparazzi persistently following them without giving them a moment’s peace. Furthermore, the actor affectionately pats J.Lo’s remarkable derriere as they cuddle on a yacht.
But in that moment, it felt as though the pieces were falling into place for both of them.
“Jennifer Lopez told MTV News before the video premiere on Nov 5, 2002, ‘Media scrutiny can be damaging if it’s not based on reality.’ She has been in rocky relationships where the media interfered excessively. However, when a relationship is strong and centered only on the two individuals involved, neither the media nor anything else can disrupt it. In her opinion, if the relationship is truly genuine for both parties, then the media has no impact.”
Even though it was difficult, if not impossible, they made an effort to appear as an ordinary couple.
Lopez shared that they strive for privacy as much as possible, but it’s not always easy. Sometimes it’s more challenging than others, depending on whether they can discreetly enter and exit certain situations. They explained that they attempt to lead a relatively normal life while still enjoying the perks of being in the public eye. For instance, they go out for dinner, socialize with friends, and do their best to maintain a balance between privacy and public visibility.
She went on to say, “We strive to find joy in the circumstances,” she explained. “I’m not implying there aren’t moments when we yearn for the simple pleasure of going to the movies without a crowd, and instead spending our Sundays leisurely. However, we have a deep affection for what we do. If this includes dealing with crowds, then so be it. We feel the warmth and are incredibly content with it.”
By the way, Lopez was wearing a ring, but she only mentioned that she and Affleck (who were also filming Kevin Smith’s Jersey Girl around that period) had discussed the topic of marriage at some point.
It became clear that after a brief period of dating, they had become engaged. Affleck popped the question to Lopez during a visit to Boston, where his family resides. Interestingly, he presented her with the now-famous 6.1-carat pink diamond ring from Harry Winston (valued between $1.2 million and $2.5 million) at his mother Chris Anne’s home.
Affleck appeared somewhat anxious during their journey, as Lopez shared with Diane Sawyer at ABC News in November, but she didn’t give it much thought.
Upon stepping through the threshold, I was greeted by a breathtaking tapestry of rose petals sprawled across every inch of the house – a sight that left me utterly spellbound. The room was filled with an array of candles, vases brimming with stunning bouquets, and the sweet strains of my own song ‘Glad’ echoed in the air. I stood there, stunned, overpowered by the magnitude of this surprise – a moment I could never have anticipated, and one that left me breathless with wonder as I uttered, “Oh my God!”
Affleck shared that his mother had a significant role in arranging the event. Later, he presented her with a letter outlining numerous reasons for wanting her as his spouse, ending with the question, “Will you become my wife?”
Initially, I couldn’t help but break down in tears – sobbing uncontrollably. Astonishment took over me as I exclaimed, “Oh my goodness!”. Lopez went on to explain that while he had wept profusely due to sorrow throughout his life, this time was different. For the first time, he cried tears of immense joy – a purging release like no other. It was an exceptionally cleansing sensation and the most blissful feeling he had ever experienced.
Initially, she was so captivated by the pink ring that she couldn’t respond right away. Later on, Lopez chuckled as he said, “I was all excited, something like, ‘Oh, absolutely! Yes, yes!'”
She expressed her eagerness about being in a committed relationship (or union), mentioning that she had been married twice previously, but this time around, she was particularly excited.
As a lifestyle expert, I’d put it this way: “While Cris and Noa, my first husband from 1997 to 1998, are truly remarkable individuals whom I deeply cared for, I believe the turbulence in my life at that time played a significant role. I needed a sense of stability and security, which is something I felt was lacking during that period.”
Lopez admitted that being with Affleck felt unlike anything before because she explained, “I felt more fear…It was overwhelmingly powerful…In the past, I had a sense of control, so I wasn’t apprehensive about getting close to the heat. However, this time it was suffocating me, and it was an intense, almost unbearable heat that made me scared.”
But she was also inspired.
Lopez explained to Sawyer that the songs for her third studio album, “This Is Me…Then” from 2002, seemed to naturally come together once she started dating Affleck. She added, “For me, this album symbolizes the period in my life when I began to understand myself better and make the right choices. It was a time when I truly discovered who I was and what I needed.” She further stated, “I believe that true sense of self only comes with age.”
Afterward, the album was devoted to her fiancé: “You are my life…my main source of inspiration for each lyric, every emotion, and every ounce of feeling in this record.” And just before the deadline, Lopez had the name of track five, originally titled “Perfect,” altered to “To Ben.”
Also in that same whirlwind month, the Daredevil star was named People‘s “Sexiest Man Alive.”
In response to a question, Lopez said, “Unlike ‘People’ magazine, I will continue to see him as the sexiest man alive even when he turns a hundred.”
They were full speed ahead, screw the skeptics.
1. “What made me develop feelings for this individual? How does that reflect on my personality?,” In an interview with Vanity Fair in early 2003, Affleck – a 25-year-old Oscar winner for co-writing Good Will Hunting with Matt Damon and no stranger to fame’s complexities – expressed his conflicting nature. “Perhaps I am torn, but there is also a rebellious side to me.”
He was aware that coupling with Lopez had been the opposite of a low-profile move.
He expressed, “Even though I find myself in this particular circumstance, it doesn’t mean I’ll act any differently than I always have.” He continued, “Jennifer is an extraordinary, remarkable woman – intelligent and captivating. Her presence improves me as a person and brings joy to my life. Every day, she leaves an indelible impression on me. Being with her feels more fulfilling than being without her, which is why I chose this path, even if it requires making certain sacrifices.”
And sure, “there were a million reasons not to” get engaged right away, he acknowledged. “Neither of us is so obtuse that we didn’t understand the degree of skepticism, the amount of sniggering in how the joke would be received. Saturday Night Live epitomized it: Tina Fey said, ‘Jennifer Lopez announced her engagement—it’s the first marriage for Affleck, the third for Lopez, and the last for neither.’ But that’s not something I want to allow to dictate how I make choices.”
He went on to say, “If Jen were a teacher and I were working construction in Boston, this is an action I would take. Our desire to get married stems from the same place as everyone else’s: We are deeply in love. I am smitten; I yearn for a family, and she’s the sole individual who has ever made me consider building one.”
“I can confidently say, after just 10 minutes in her company, Jen possesses the qualities of an exceptional mother. Regardless of any adversities that may come our way, I believe she will excel in this role. My father once said the same about my own mother, who proved to be a world-class mother.”
Though Lopez told Sawyer that no one should read too much into the fact that she and Affleck were spotted looking at a church in Boston, they did plan to get married in September 2003.
During this time, they attended each other’s movie premieres, watched Affleck cheer on his favorite team, the Red Sox, in 2003, and even went to the Oscars together. In July of that same year, he gifted Lopez a Rolls Royce Phantom worth $350,000 for her birthday.
However, the movie “Gigli” was unveiled on August 1, 2003, and was criticized so harshly that it seemed as though viewers took it as a personal affront.
Which, perhaps given the faith they’d put into the entity that was Bennifer, they were.
As I looked back on it in 2021, my initial admiration for that intriguing pair, Affleck and I, was quite profound. However, things took a turn as I found myself harboring a great deal of animosity – a substantial amount of bitterness towards me, and an equally substantial amount towards Jennifer.
“He continued by stating that many individuals were excessively cruel towards her. Their comments were filled with sexism, racism, and harsh, unjustified criticism that, if expressed today, would undeniably lead to termination.”
Despite the fact that she now radiates an extraordinary luminance that is hard to overlook, those days took a toll on her.
She once acknowledged that the “Gigli” period was likely her most challenging and dismal phase. Speaking on HuffPost Live in 2015, she reflected, “The movie was heavily criticized, and at the same time, my high-profile relationship was ending dramatically. The combination of a poorly received film, personal heartache, and the emergence of tabloid culture made me a frequent target for gossip magazines. It was a difficult phase in my life.”
In 2016, Affleck himself admitted on “Any Given Wednesday With Bill Simmons” that according to popular opinion, he was neither cool nor talented. He felt he was at the very bottom of the scale for both coolness and talent in the public eye. His breakup with Jennifer Lopez and a series of flop movies had reinforced this image.
The unraveling happened slowly, and then all at once.
Initially, they had planned to get married in September 2003, but the wedding was put off due to some external interference that necessitated a change in their original plans.
They announced that they would be pushing back their wedding date because the intense focus from the media had become too much. As the days leading up to the event in Santa Barbara, California approached, they considered hiring multiple fake brides at different locations. This made them question the authenticity of what should have been a joyous and spiritual day. They were concerned that this excessive attention could tarnish their special moment for themselves, their families, and friends, so they chose to reschedule.
If there was an alternate plan, they never shared it.
In a conversation with the Associated Press at the Sundance Film Festival in January 2004, Affleck stated that things were progressing smoothly and they were doing well.
Meanwhile, Lopez was also observed multiple times in a different time zone, Miami, and on January 22nd, her representative confirmed that their engagement had permanently ended (as mentioned in The Greatest Love Story Never Told, Lopez states they separated three days before their wedding).
In her hit song “One Love,” she proudly declared that she had kept the ring, but later returned the eye-catching pink gemstone that sparked many copies of it.
Besides the wedding that was called off, another one was edited out as well: Smith removed a 12-second sequence from Jersey Girl where Affleck and Lopez’s characters tied the knot.
The director, who later claimed he originated the term “Bennifer,” noted this in an interview with MIT’s The Tech in March 2004, when the film was released prematurely. He said, “Given that Jennifer Lopez is standing next to Ben Affleck in a wedding gown and he’s wearing a tux, it’s hard not to wonder if they got married while watching the movie. Many viewers might even comment, ‘That’s unfair! They didn’t tie the knot in real life.'”
“And suddenly, [the audience] is gone. We’ve lost them for a few seconds, and you don’t want to lose them for any amount of time when you’re telling a story. You want them in that black box focused and in another place in time.”
Affleck aimed to set the film apart from its predecessor that didn’t fare well. As he put it to the AP, “Gigli was a movie that definitely took a hit due to all the attention surrounding me and Jennifer Lopez.” Essentially, he said, “It was time to move on” before the film even premiered. Additionally, while Gigli was enjoyable to make and offered a good experience, it didn’t quite succeed as a movie. In contrast, “Jersey Girl” truly does, and I am really proud of it. I think it’s a beautiful film, and I believe it’s worthwhile.”
Unfortunately, it seemed that the timing wasn’t ideal for fans to appreciate “Jersey Girl,” despite Ben Affleck and Will Smith having a strong history of success.
Looking back at that dormant phase, Affleck has expressed multiple times that it wasn’t fair to blame Lopez for the downturn in his acting career during the mid-2000s. He maintains that she was not responsible for this outcome.
In 2008, he shared with the Daily Record that one decision he regretted was directing the music video. However, that incident is in the past now, and he has since moved forward. (Gone Baby Gone was his successful directorial debut at that time.)
He also mentioned that blaming others would make him seem immature and uncivil. To clarify, did she damage my professional progress? Not at all.
After their separation, Lopez didn’t let much time pass without making strides, whether personally or professionally. She starred in the hit comedy “Monster-in-Law” and tied the knot with Marc Anthony on June 5, 2004. Their marriage ended in 2011 (and they officially divorced in 2014), but they continue to maintain a close relationship as parents of their now 16-year-old twins, Max and Emme.
Affleck was outpaced by Lopez when it came to weddings, with the latter tying the knot with Jennifer Garner on June 29, 2005. Together they welcomed three children – Violet who is now 18, Seraphina aged 15, and Samuel at 12. The couple separated in 2015 and eventually divorced in 2018.
Looking back on all the ups and downs she had experienced so far, Lopez shared with HuffPost Live in 2015 that she had no regrets. If given the chance, she would live through everything again, even the romantic relationships. She felt that every aspect of her life was a part of her story, journey, and growth, and she embraced it all as being meant to be and beneficial for personal development, provided one is open to understanding its purpose.
Despite their unexpected 2021 meeting feeling like an unexpected bolt from the sky, Lopez and Affleck never shied away from revealing that they had maintained friendship. (It’s worth mentioning they also had a warm reunion at the awards show in 2015, exchanging whispers during the Oscars.)
2012 saw Affleck stating to The Hollywood Reporter that their relationship isn’t one where she seeks his advice often, but it does involve occasional messages like, “Your movie looks fantastic.” I recall when she landed American Idol. I told her, “This is a smart move. Good luck!”
In my perspective as a lifestyle expert, I find myself wholeheartedly admiring her. She’s now revered and esteemed for the remarkable work she has achieved, her humble origins, and the milestones she has crossed. Truly, it’s long overdue recognition that she deserves every bit of.
It’s not surprising that the world responded as it did when they found out that Lopez and Affleck, who haven’t been single for a long time, were spending time together. Then, they were seen as a couple once more. And now, they’re engaged, yes, again.
And then, on July 16, 2022, married. To each other, a comeback for the ages.
Reflecting on their initial split in “The Greatest Love Story Never Told”, Lopez shared, “I felt as if I’d lost the love of my life and the best friend I ever had. The silence that followed was the most challenging part for me, as I couldn’t find the words to express myself for a long time.”
As a dedicated follower, I too felt the sting of anger as events transpired, but as I reflected upon it, I realized that the pain we experienced propelled us towards self-discovery and personal growth. In other words, the heartache served as our catalyst for becoming better versions of ourselves.
However, though it was a different era and circumstance, history seems to be repeating itself. Were we aware of the events that were unfolding back then?
Notice the clear indications from the recent months suggesting a possible repetition of historical events:
Despite the 2024 Met Gala having a theme of “The Garden of Time,” fans began speculating about potential tension between Jennifer and Ben, as he didn’t attend the event with her on May 6, where she was serving as co-chair. It’s worth noting that the award-winning actor was involved in the roast of Tom Brady in California the day prior. However, the reason behind his absence from the New York Metropolitan Museum of Art was because he was filming “The Accountant 2” in Los Angeles, according to his representative at TopMob.
Despite Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez remaining silent on breakup speculations, social media chatter intensified as fans pointed out that J.Lo had liked an Instagram post about warning signs in relationships several months prior. The caption of the March 19 post read, “It’s impossible to build a relationship with someone who is disconnected from themselves.” It went on to say, “We cannot expect someone to see us when they can’t even see themselves. Entering into a relationship might be easy, but maintaining and cultivating it is an entirely different challenge. After all, love isn’t just a feeling; it’s about actions.”
In the not-so-distant past, as whispers of a potential separation surfaced, Ben openly discussed his and Jennifer’s contrasting perspectives on privacy. Here’s how I recall it:
Later in May, reports spread that Jennifer and Ben were living apart.
As the month wore on, she persisted in making solo appearances on red carpets – gracing both the L.A. premiere and a fan event in Mexico City for her movie “Atlas” without him. Yet, Jennifer was seen wearing her wedding ring as an accompaniment to her outfits during these events.
At a press conference in Mexico, an audience member inquired about the breakup speculations. However, a video posted by El Gordo y la Flaca shows that the actress merely said, “You’re aware of the situation more than I am.”
By the end of May, it was announced by representatives for Live Nation that Jennifer’s U.S. Summer 2024 Tour “This Is Me…Live” has been called off. They explained in her On the J.Lo newsletter that Jennifer is choosing to spend time with her children, family, and close friends, as she needs a break.
Shortly following the triumph, the singer rejoiced over her movie “Atlas” reaching number one globally once more, all while hinting at negativity. In a June issue of her On the JLo newsletter, she wrote:
During that same month, it was revealed through TMZ that the actors were secretly offloading their newly-acquired Beverly Hills estate, which they’d bought only a year prior. By July, they decided to place this property on the market with an asking price of $68 million.
Despite fans’ optimism following their joint appearances at family gatherings and Jennifer Lopez’s touching Father’s Day tribute, rumors of a breakup resurfaced when J.Lo traveled to Italy in June while Ben remained in Los Angeles, where he was photographed without his wedding ring.
On the Fourth of July, the actress from Maid in Manhattan chose to spend time in the Hamptons, New York. Interestingly, Emme, one of her twins, featured in a photo she shared, but Ben was noticeably absent from the picture.
July also marked the second anniversary of the Gigli costars’ Las Vegas wedding. And while Jennifer shared a celebratory post last year, she didn’t upload one this time around.
On July 24, the singer famous for “Waiting For Tonight” held a party themed around the popular series “Bridgerton” in the Hamptons to celebrate her 55th birthday. However, photos showed Ben in Los Angeles at about the same time.
On August 15th, when Ben turned 52, Jennifer didn’t post a birthday message for him on social media, but, as reported by Page Six, the “Jenny From the Block” artist did visit his home on that day, as suggested by photos.
After several months of rumors, Jennifer officially filed for a divorce from Ben on August 20th at the Los Angeles County Superior Court. The paperwork, which was obtained by TMZ, lists their separation date as April 26th.
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2024-08-21 10:23