Martin Clunes Predicts Greenland Would Be Filled with Military Massage Parlors Under Trump

by

Previously, you were spotted at the Islands of the Pacific, now it’s the turn of the Islands of the Atlantic. Could we look forward to visiting the Islands of Poole Harbour next time?

I’m on my way! Should there be interest, I’d be thrilled to continue with these programs, as I find islands to be captivating laboratories of human nature. Each new island I visit expands my understanding of shared experiences in island living – people face similar challenges yet solve them in ways distinct to their cultural backgrounds. For example, this series transports us from the tropical Bijagos Islands off Guinea-Bissau’s coast to Arctic Greenland, but all these islanders work tirelessly just to survive.

And you mucked in to help out?

In the Faroe Islands, I had planned on harvesting mussels while wearing a dry-suit, but I considered feigning illness as I’ve done so before, given my previous experience with it was less than ideal. Diving requires tilting your head towards the ocean floor, which causes air in the suit to accumulate in your feet, making them swell like a life preserver and leaving you vulnerable to being tossed about by the waves.

These islanders are indeed diligent, as they often juggle multiple roles. It is rare to find someone who has only one occupation. For example, in the Faroes, we encountered a woman named Harriet Olafsdottir. She is not just a farmer but also a shepherdess, manages an Airbnb, and creatively styles and decorates her sheep. Additionally, she photographs these unique creatures and sells the images online.

Life must be easier on the tropical islands that you visited, surely?

It’s intriguing to note that on São Tomé Island, located off the western coast of Africa, the oceans teem with fish and fruits grow naturally on trees, yet there persists a significant level of poverty. The inhabitants are making their livelihoods amidst the decaying remnants of the Portuguese empire, as the jungle slowly reclaims the buildings, leaving them to reside in these dilapidated structures. I encountered a woman who was barely getting by, shelling peanuts she had gathered herself. She became quite agitated when we started filming and intruding on her privacy, but truth be told, it was just an abandoned ruin.

After that, we were capturing scenes near the spot where fishermen arrived with their boats, and women would descend to greet them, persuade the men to give them fish, and then transport the catch in stunning baskets balanced on their heads. It’s reasonable to assume that some of these island men aren’t ideal husbands – they don’t seem too focused on faithfulness – and interestingly, we were offered two babies. While hanging around, a woman approached me and asked where we were from, and upon learning we were English, she offered us two infants.

She expressed, “I was thriving in school until this happened, and by this, she referred to the infant peacefully sleeping in her arms and her other three children. ‘That’s it,’ she lamented. ‘My education has ended now, and I’ll never have a decent career. Could you possibly take this baby, provide it with a life, because I can’t.’

How did you feel as an obvious outsider?

It was a remarkable experience to visit places where we stood out as unusual sights. On the Bijagós Islands, children were delighted by our presence, and we found ourselves surrounded by kids clinging onto us or scaling our bodies. To them, our fair-skinned appearance seemed comically amusing.

You weren’t the only oddity, surely? Aren’t islands famous for their eccentrics?

Absolutely! An island offers ample space for unique personalities. For instance, we encountered Prince Renato in Madeira. He had purchased a small rocky island that was later connected to the mainland by a seawall, turning it into its own independent territory named Pontinha. And guess who’s the prince? You got it – him!

In simpler terms, what’s your opinion on how Donald Trump might adapt if he were to live in Greenland, given that you’ve visited it yourself?

Recently, I visited Guam, part of the Pacific Islands, which serves as another airbase and refueling station for U.S. military forces. It seems quite likely that a similar fate would befall Greenland in this regard. However, for now, Guam is nothing short of breathtaking. During our stay, we went kayaking at nine in the evening under brilliant sunshine; another day found us exploring icebergs and approaching a glacier, witnessing its collapse into the sea. Our captain even provided us with glasses filled with 60,000-year-old ice chunks from the water, so we could enjoy our whisky with a truly ancient touch. I’ve never experienced anything quite like Guam – it’s simply extraordinary!

Read More

2025-04-22 13:34