Michelle Obama Reveals Why She Refused Barack’s Idea of a Third Baby

Michelle Obama is more than happy with her and Barack Obama’s family of four.

In her book, Becoming, the author shared that she dissuaded the then-President from considering another child following the births of their daughters Malia Obama (aged 26) and Sasha Obama (aged 23).

Michelle shared with Kylie Kelce during their March 20th podcast conversation that she felt fortunate about having two children. Barack suggested they might want a third, to which Michelle responded, ‘Whoa.’

Afterward, it seemed that the lawyer had no intention of taking unnecessary risks as she considered the two “sound sleeps” she had experienced.

“I’m thinking we’re going to get a crazy one,” she admitted. “It’s just the roll of the dice.”

Michelle always acknowledged the strain that first-time motherhood brought, often pondering back on her personal struggle with postnatal depression.

As a lifestyle expert, I often find myself reflecting on the profound emotions experienced by new mothers. When I felt that postpartum sadness with my own children, it wasn’t about disliking them or feeling detached; quite the opposite. The love was overwhelming, and the connection was instantaneous. I found myself thinking, “Oh my God, all you have is me.” It’s a heavy responsibility to carry, knowing that they rely on me completely. In those moments, I felt an immense empathy for them, wishing they had a parent, someone who could guide them and provide them with the care and support they truly deserve. I was acutely aware of my own inexperience, suddenly thrust into this role of being their primary caregiver.

Fortunately, Michelle, aged 61, discovered a suitable match in Barack, also 63. Nonetheless, his presidency presented challenges for the family. To put it simply, Malia and Sasha, who were 10 and 7 respectively when they moved into the White House with their parents in 2009, and left at 18 and 15 in 2017, had to adapt to life under such public scrutiny.

She stated that they resided in the White House for a longer period than any other place did, and during their teenage years, she explained, they faced typical experiences such as attending proms, learning to drive, and trying to lead a normal life. This included going to parties, where there might have been alcohol. They were guarded by agents at the time, and they had a boyfriend.

She highlighted the difficulty she encountered in managing all those elements, ensuring they could maintain a sense of normality as children.

Indeed, Michelle found it challenging to instruct Malia and Sasha on driving skills, as they were accustomed to being chauffeured by armed men due to having detailed security throughout their lives.

After eight years, she said, “They won’t carry on with that lifestyle.” Upon entering the situation, her thought was, “How do I ensure they adapt well when it ends? They’ll need to navigate public transportation, book their own flights, manage an apartment, maintain healthy relationships, and stay grounded in this world.

Michelle desired to let them have the freedom to act like typical teenagers, yet she was mindful that their prominence might draw attention, so she thought, “They might engage in activities that most children their age would, only under less scrutiny.

In her words, “It was about finding equilibrium, ensuring they didn’t miss out on the experience of socializing and living life before going to college while also keeping them at home.

For more wisdom from the former First Lady, keep reading…

2016 saw me, Michelle Obama, sharing wisdom with young women and girls on International Day of the Girl. I encouraged them to embrace failure as a powerful tool, rather than something to fear. We, as women, often feel an unrelenting pressure to be right, perfect, and never stumble. But here’s the truth: success in life, learning from our experiences, comes only after we’ve encountered setbacks. It’s not failure itself that holds us back, but how we choose to respond to it.

Meghan Markle asked for the guidance she offers to daughters Malia and Sasha Obama. In response, the ex-first lady stated, “Don’t just adhere to the expectations you believe are placed upon you…I advise them to continue experimenting with new experiences until they discover what resonates with them.” She added that what may have felt suitable yesterday might not align today, and that is perfectly okay – it’s beneficial. When she was in college, she thought she wanted to be a lawyer because it seemed like a job for honorable individuals. However, it took her several years to listen to her instincts and find a path more suited to who she truly was, inside and out.

The significance of job titles is not important; it’s the individual, not their title, that matters. As Obama stated in his 2018 discussion with Penguins Books U.K., “What I learned was none of that has to do necessarily with who I am,” emphasizing that one’s identity and aspirations are separate from their job titles.

Obama advises you to dream big: What matters most to you, where would you prefer to spend your energy, what brings happiness and what causes sorrow?

She went on to explain, “That’s not something they teach in school, but I figured out how to find it for myself and make it my life’s work.” After she found her passion, her life took a turn for the better. Why? “Because instead of asking what I wanted to become,” she said, “I asked who I wanted to be.” Later, she added, “If you start considering the kind of job that will bring you joy, because if you discover that, you’ll excel at it and everything else will fall into place. And it did for me.

Barack Obama, much like myself, was brought up with similar values: effort brings success, your word is your bond, do what you promise, treat others with respect and dignity regardless of circumstances or opinions. In 2008 at the Democratic National Convention, she expressed that both Barack and I aimed to construct our lives based on these values and pass them down to future generations. We believe it’s crucial for our kids, as well as every child in this country, to understand that their potential is only limited by the extent of their dreams and their determination to work hard towards them.

‘Am I capable? Yes, I am.’

During her 2016 Democratic National Convention speech, Obama expressed, “If someone treats harshly or behaves like a bully, don’t meet their behavior in kind. Instead, our guiding principle should be: When they resort to the gutter, we rise above it.

In her speech at Tuskegee University in 2015, she expressed that by staying true to her convictions and personal values, and guiding herself by her inner compass, she believes the most important standards to meet are simply her own.

In my perspective as a lifestyle guide, embracing self-disclosure and expressing your unique narrative with authenticity holds immense strength – it’s a power that resonates deeply within oneself. As Michelle Obama beautifully put it in her book, Becoming, at its conclusion: “There’s grace in being open to knowing and understanding others as well.” For me, this is the key to personal growth and connection with those around us – this is how we evolve together.

One of the values instilled in me since childhood is to always remain authentic and not let others’ opinions sway you from your aspirations. This philosophy was echoed by Obama during a 2008 interview with Marie Claire. Consequently, when faced with baseless criticisms or attacks, he chooses to ignore them because he has a clear understanding of his identity.

In her 2011 speech at the Young African Women Leaders Forum, Obama emphasized that life may not always be easy, and no one can solve every world issue immediately. However, she encouraged them never to doubt their potential impact, as history proves that courage can spread, and hope can grow on its own.

2025-03-20 19:17

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