Natalie Joy and Nick Viall are experiencing tremendous loss.
The surgical technician expressed that she was experiencing a miscarriage of their second child, looking back at the difficult ordeal she went through. (In this context, “actively” is not used in the medical sense but to emphasize the ongoing nature of her experience.)
On the January 19th episode of “The Viall Files” podcast, Natalie, who co-parents 11-month-old daughter River with Nick, expressed that this situation has been the most profound sorrow she’s ever faced. She’s never felt such a deep void within herself before.
She confided in Nick, 44, “I feel like there’s nothing left within me.” It’s difficult because I need to be full of life for River. I have to act playful, goofy, and funny, and engage with her. But when I’m with you, I carry this heavy burden of guilt that I can’t do the same. I’m sorrowful that all you see now is this fractured individual.
Natalie, aged 26, mentioned that she had been experiencing “intermittent light bleeding” for some time, which was unlike anything she encountered during her previous pregnancy. While occasional bleeding is sometimes expected, Natalie expressed concern as she “felt it was something not right from the start.
She expressed that she found it difficult to believe what had happened, saying, “It kept feeling heavier and heavier.” She added, “I’m incredibly grateful that we were home instead of traveling or staying in a hotel or on an airplane. As soon as we got home, I felt like I was giving birth all over again. I was screaming and crying, and Nick rushed into the bathroom. You just wonder, ‘What do you do when you need to stand up and flush this unexpected event down the toilet?’
Reflecting on the past, I can say without a doubt that night was the most challenging I’ve ever faced,” she mused. “I wouldn’t want anyone else to endure what I did. Regrettably, many women do face such hardships. It breaks my heart because I was so angry at my body for failing me.
Natalie also expressed her gratitude for Nick’s support amid the heartbreaking experience.
She remarked, ‘Though it was the toughest ordeal I’ve faced, you made it as manageable as possible under the circumstances.’ I find your actions remarkable, for in such challenging times, I thought nothing could be done right. Yet, you not only met expectations but surpassed them.
Even though the newlywed pair, who got married in April, are currently grappling with their grief, Natalie revealed her reasons for recounting the event on their podcast.
She mentioned that recovering from this is going to be a lengthy process, yet it’s still very raw and affecting us deeply at the moment. This is why I chose to do this now, to convey to others that they are not isolated in their feelings.
She went on, expressing her desire not to let this infant slip from memory. She didn’t want the passage of time to make it seem as if this baby was just a fleeting moment in our lives. Instead, she wanted River to be able to revisit these moments and see the love we had for the sibling who might have been with us.
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2025-01-29 19:47