Pi Token: Telegram’s New Pet? 💸

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Abridged, for the Chronically Impatient:

  • Pi Network, that digital bauble so many clutch with unwarranted fervor, has apparently insinuated itself into Telegram’s official wallet. One can now, it seems, observe one’s digital dust bunnies under certain, rather peculiar, conditions.
  • Furthermore, those app-smiths toiling away in the Pi ecosystem – provided they’ve adhered to the sacred listing guidelines – may now seize their digital fiefdoms without the indignity of bidding. A veritable land grab in the virtual ether!

Team Ruminations

The initial pronouncements emerged, predictably, from Pi News, a media eminence with a million-strong following – a number surely inflated by bots and the eternally hopeful. They declared, with suitable fanfare, that Pi denizens could now gaze upon their tokens within the Telegram fortress.

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One can, apparently, acquire, hoard, and even fondle these digital trinkets within the wallet’s confines. Alas, one cannot dispatch them to one’s chums, squirrel them away in external repositories, or, horror of horrors, receive them from the grasping hands of others. The very essence of a gilded cage, wouldn’t you agree? 🗝️

NEWSFLASH: $PI sighted within Telegram’s official coffers!

Stipulations:
• One may only purchase, barter, or safeguard $PI therein.
• Transferring $PI to Telegram acquaintances, extracting it to exterior havens, or accepting it from external entities remains strictly verboten. #PiNetwork

— Pi News (@PiNewsMedia) March 25, 2025

Subsequent enlightenment dripped forth from the project’s own X (formerly Twitter, a change so utterly devoid of poetry as to be almost offensive) channel. Pi community applications, it was revealed, having genuflected before the ecosystem’s listing deities and dutifully completed PiNet migration by the appointed date of May 28th (a deadline, no doubt, looming with the malevolent glint of a tax auditor’s spectacles), could “secure their domains without bidding, with certain requirements and restrictions.” Naturally.

This “grace period,” an act of staggering benevolence, was extended due to the lamentable tardiness of some developers, who had, through some unfathomable lapse of attention, overlooked the initial PiNet migration opportunity. The sheer inefficiency! One shudders. 😱

Pi community applications, having kowtowed to Ecosystem listing mandates and finalized PiNet migration by May 28th, 2025, may now seize their domains sans bidding, subject to specific caveats and encumbrances. Consult the blog for further edification:

— Pi Network (@PiCoreTeam) March 24, 2025

Further Machinations

The blog post, a veritable labyrinth of technical jargon, also outlined the subsequent steps for developers, should they manage to scramble across the migration finish line by the aforementioned doomsday. These are as follows:

  • Determine whether your digital contraption has already assimilated with PiNet.
    • If you’ve survived the PiNet migration – rejoice! Your domain is yours. No further self-flagellation is required.
  • Should your app still languish outside the PiNet embrace:
    • Complete your PiNet integration by May 28th to stake your claim. Or don’t. See if I care.
    • Consult the PiNet Developer Guide, a document so dense it could induce narcolepsy, for further instructions: PiNet Developer Guide
  • Should you, in a fit of rebellious pique, refuse to migrate to PiNet, your domain will remain in the auction – a digital flea market of sorts – and will not be automatically bestowed upon you. Serves you right, you iconoclast! 😂

Developers must, of course, register their PiNet URLs within the Pi Developer Portal – a bureaucratic nightmare worthy of Kafka himself. They must also deign to choose display preferences, selecting between a fullscreen extravaganza or a more modest mobile iteration. And, for security’s sake (always a convenient excuse), the initial URL will be appended with a random string of characters – a touch of randomness in an otherwise stiflingly predictable digital landscape.

Once thusly registered, the app will, theoretically, materialize at the PiNet URL, displayed within the users’ app dashboard. Developers must then optimize their creations for PiNet usage, and endeavor to “update their user flow in order to give non-pioneers the opportunity to experience as much of the application as possible,” the post concluded, leaving one to wonder just how much of these applications is actually worth experiencing. 🧐

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2025-03-25 10:03