Snow White Disaster: Gal Gadot Overacts, Zegler Misses Mark, Audiences Flee!

I saw it so you don’t have to. Let’s get started with this Snow White movie review.

The film didn’t come out in a conventional sense; instead, it burst free, seemingly determined to break out from its storage, much like something that shouldn’t have been freed in the first place. It seems Disney may have misjudged their approach with this production, as the enchantment within appears to be irreversibly shattered.

Rachel Zegler’s portrayal of Snow White may not align with traditional expectations for the character. While she has a strong singing voice, her performance seems to lean more towards a Broadway-style belter rather than embodying the soft, sweet, and delicate qualities typically associated with Snow White. Her performance feels more assertive and showy, which contrasts sharply with the demure and kind princess that audiences were captivated by in 1937. It’s possible that her interpretation of the character could be refined to better capture the essence of Snow White as originally conceived.

To put it simply, if she had been chosen as Elphaba in the musical “Wicked”, she might have outperformed Cynthia Erivo, who is equally lacking in depth but less vocally skilled. However, in this particular role, she seems to be a poor fit. Furthermore, I believe I’ve successfully taken aim at both Rachel Zegler and Cynthia Erivo in this review of the “Snow White” movie.

The music in this movie is shockingly subpar; it seems Disney produced these new tunes that resemble forgotten tracks from a low-quality karaoke machine. They’re bland, unmelodic, and heavily auto-tuned, with the “prince” being the main culprit. To clarify, I mistakenly referred to him as a prince earlier – he is not one in reality. In their creative decision, Disney opted to transform him into a bandit instead of maintaining any traditional aspects. Regrettably, the writers neglected to develop his character, resulting in him emitting the charm of soggy cardboard throughout the film. He lacks both backstory and endearment, serving merely as a vehicle for true love’s kiss, much like an enchanted delivery package on Amazon.

Let’s delve into the development of Snow White’s character, or more precisely, the absence of it. Over and over again, they echo phrases like “fearless, fair, brave, and true,” implying depth, but these traits never seem to be earned or grown into by her character. Instead, she is flawlessly perfect from the very beginning, maintains this perfection throughout, and concludes as perfectly as she started. The only noticeable change between Snow White in the initial scene and Snow White in the final scene is her wardrobe.

This Disney storyline once again follows the Girlboss trope where the protagonist doesn’t require any growth or learning, as she is already perfect. The rest of the characters simply need to understand her greatness. Typical of Bob Iger’s Disney productions.

Zegler’s portrayal seems to worsen the situation. Every line comes across as if she’s straining it, smiling with gritted teeth. It’s almost as if you can hear her internal dialogue: “Be charming, be lovable, be pleasant,” and yet falling short at every attempt. The artificiality is so intense, it brings to mind every insincere “nice girl” who has betrayed someone while still smiling. It appears that playing a character who is kind merely for the sake of kindness is so unlike her true nature that it’s an audacious stretch for her as an actress.

As a devoted cinephile, let me delve into the subject of musical selections. The timeless tunes such as “Someday My Prince Will Come” and “I’m Wishing/One Song”? They’re out of the picture now. It seems Disney has chosen to toss these treasured gems aside, replacing them with what feels like trash to me, treating the cherished originals more like unwanted junk that needs to be swept under the rug.

Heigh-Ho stands out as a positive element, but unfortunately, it’s overshadowed by the subpar CGI representation of the dwarves. (We’ll delve into their issues later.)

Instead of “Whistle While You Work,” let’s rephrase it as “Sing and Labor Simultaneously.” In the recent Snow White adaptation by Zegler, she dances around singing about camaraderie, while the dwarves perform all the chores. It’s akin to witnessing Tom Sawyer trick his peers into whitewashing a fence, except this time it’s more irritating and manipulative. The portrayal of Snow White by Zegler seems less like a leader or a companion, but rather a pushy coworker who vanishes when the heavy tasks come in. Frankly, I’m baffled every time I read a review that applauds her for anything positive.

Initially, I had anticipated that Gal Gadot might add some positivity to this production given my fondness for her as Wonder Woman. Perhaps, I assumed, she would be an exceptional aspect. However, I was wrong. Her portrayal of the Evil Queen is so excessively flamboyant and theatrically exaggerated that it overshadows even Tommy Lee Jones’ over-the-top Two-Face character in Batman Forever. Gadot seems to devour the scenery as if she were on a high school stage, but unfortunately, it’s not done in an amusing manner.

Despite having an original song of her own, it’s exactly as bad as one might anticipate. Gal Gadot struggles with singing, the lyrics are a mess, and the entire scene made me yearn for the infamous “Imagine” video during the 2020 global health crisis. In truth, that video was more bearable than listening to her attempt to sing through this musical disaster.

In the original version, the transformation of the Evil Queen was a pivotal and memorable scene that left an indelible mark on Disney history with lines such as “A gust of wind to fuel my wrath. A lightning bolt to blend it perfectly.” It was truly spine-chilling. However, in this adaptation, it seems to be a mere repetition of Gadot’s earlier song, stripping away all its eerie charm and intrigue. The wicked witch disguise, once a chilling plot twist, is added haphazardly, without any significant impact or resolution. The entire poison apple subplot appears to be included only because it’s Snow White, so they feel obligated to have the apple, rather than being an organic part of the story.

In this movie, the narrative style heavily leans towards telling rather than showing. The evil nature of the queen, Snow White’s kindness, and the king’s goodness are all explained to us instead of being demonstrated through actions or visual cues. When Snow White experiences emotions like grief over her mother’s death, it is often communicated through narration rather than shown subtly on screen. The film seems more akin to a children’s play with an overabundance of adorable CGI animals that may captivate toddlers, but potentially overshadow the storyline for mature viewers.

As a devoted fan, I can’t help but share my thoughts about those dwarf characters. You might recall the leaked set images showing seven unconventional figures standing in as dwarves? Well, they’re still very much present. It’s quite evident that this movie has been pieced together from two different productions. The CGI dwarves, frankly terrifying and reminiscent of nightmares, seem to pop up unexpectedly, hastily inserted into scenes when Disney felt the heat of potential backlash.

In a more harmonious retelling, Snow White initially encounters the dwarves, later departs from their company, forms an alliance with a group of peace-loving individuals often referred to as hippies, and eventually reconnects with the dwarves once again. This version aims to flow smoother while maintaining the original sequence of events.

The overall impression of the film is that Disney initially conceived an idea, later re-filmed a significant portion of it, and subsequently joined these parts seamlessly using sparkle as a connective tissue, with the hope that viewers wouldn’t detect the seams. It’s also said that this is precisely what transpired in reality.

Final Verdict: 2/10.

And that’s me being generous!

I must admit, Heigh-Ho didn’t drive me to the point of wanting to shield my ears, and I appreciate that its runtime doesn’t exceed the two-hour mark. However, aside from these aspects, this film is a jumbled puzzle. If you’re a fan of Rachel Zegler, now’s your chance to catch her shining—because post this movie, it might be a while before she graces another major blockbuster as a leading lady.

2025-03-22 01:56

Final Verdict: 2/10.

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