The best thing about Nicole Kidman’s thriller Babygirl isn’t the sex

A film set during Christmas, brimming with sweetness, naughtiness, and more, titled Babygirl explores themes of consent and self-discovery across different age groups, pushing the boundaries of the erotic mystery genre in a unique way.

In today’s film industry, many movies labeled as “erotic” often find it challenging to be both sensual and thought-provoking at the same time.

However, Halina Reijn skillfully executes this complex mix in her third directorial effort, showing remarkable accuracy akin to a surgeon’s handiwork. Yet, it’s worth noting that while the subdued sexual scenes are present, they are not the film’s primary source of intrigue.

The romantic relationship between CEO Romy (Nicole Kidman) and her younger intern Samuel (Harris Dickinson), despite being unconventional, is not particularly explicit compared to other films that explore BDSM themes. However, this movie does not delve into these aspects as deeply or as humorously as films like ‘Secretary’ have done before.

Conversely, Babygirl provokes intrigue by posing unexplored questions on agency, delight, and the unique interpretations various age groups assign to these concepts.

In this role, Kidman delivers a captivating portrayal of a successful woman who conceals her erotic daydreams behind her loving, dedicated spouse Jacob, played by Banderas. Unbeknownst to the theatre director, his wife is simulating every orgasm and searching for fulfillment elsewhere in secret.

In her professional role as a leader at her automation company, Romy carefully chooses each word she speaks during presentations. However, she feels hesitant about expressing herself freely in her private life.

When she tentatively voices her feelings to Jacob, he brushes her aside immediately. However, when Samuel perceives her hidden yearning for dominance, her embarrassed expression changes.

Reijn suggests that societal norms shape a woman’s perception of how they can experience pleasure in sexual encounters. The movie proposes that letting go and experimenting with gender roles can be exciting territories to explore and discover what brings satisfaction, it implies.

Instead of focusing on the physical act itself, the controversy surrounding “Babygirl” often stems from the uneasy territories it explores for its audience. The film delves into the complexities of our sexual and romantic interactions in societies that are dominated by patriarchy.

Despite our achievements as feminists, it’s challenging not to feel a sense of validation from men, Babygirl points out. This is evident in the way she questions every friendly and accommodating response Romy gives at work, or her firm approach towards assertive Samuel, implying an ongoing desire for male approval.

Exploring if it’s possible to find genuine satisfaction in fulfilling societal expectations of male desires, and finding ways to escape traditional gender roles, is what Babygirl aims to achieve.

As a film enthusiast, I’m well-versed in the art of challenging conventional norms when it comes to cinematic storytelling. My debut directorial venture, Instinct (2019), certainly made waves by exploring unconventional themes – delving into the complex relationship between a prison therapist and her serial rapist patient. This daring approach caught the attention of Nicole Kidman, who was drawn to the provocative nature of the project.

Although Babygirl offers a cozier, less intense experience, there might be a momentary sense of discomfort as you watch Romy enthusiastically drink milk from a dish while in a four-legged position.

Or:

Babygirl presents a comforting, laid-back vibe, but the scene of Romy eating milk off a plate on all fours could cause a fleeting feeling of unease amidst your enjoyment.

In my opinion, labeling this film as degrading overlooks its true intent altogether. The narrative unfolds from a power imbalance that spirals into complexity, yet it refrains from being exploitative – at least not towards Romy.

Similar to many powerful women preceding her, she struggles to maintain her own part of the road free from scandal, and reacts with surprise when the situation backfires on her as Samuel hints at uncovering their secrets.

In this morally gray film, both main characters explore the realm of BDSM. They engage in deep conversations about the boundaries and obligations within their relationship, and find the bravery to be emotionally exposed, displaying tender yet awkward moments of care. Both characters are uncertain about the future, but the age difference between them suggests a contrasting perspective on consent and power dynamics.

Romy tends to struggle with expressing her desires and may not prioritize consent, possibly because, as a woman of Gen X, she wasn’t taught the importance of doing so. On the other hand, Samuel emphasizes the significance of consent in their partnership and suggests establishing guidelines and a safety signal, although he only brought it up later in their relationship.

Eventually, Babygirl simplifies the mistaken belief that kinky activities are just a male fantasy into a misapprehension rooted in generation-specific perspectives.

Samuel explains, “Your notion about sexuality is quite old-fashioned,” addressing the elder character who views sexual activities primarily as traditional and dismisses dominant-submissive roles as potentially damaging for women.

At first, even Romy isn’t exempt from this perspective, which unfortunately tries to label her unique preferences as abnormal. However, her relationship with Samuel and talks with her oldest, free-spirited daughter Isabel (played by Esther McGregor) provide a welcome shift in Kidman’s stiff character.

In the beginning of the film, Romy firmly establishes that she follows a “keep your weaknesses hidden” approach. She’s not comfortable with the notion of using emotional vulnerability as a strength, and throughout the movie, she works on overcoming some of her harmful habits, both within and outside the workplace.

Instead of merely exposing power structures, Babygirl also voices her dissent against the concept often referred to as ‘girlboss feminism’. This ideology, rooted in both patriarchy and capitalism, promotes an extremely self-reliant mentality. With limited opportunities for women in leadership roles, those few spots are fiercely held onto with every ounce of a woman’s strength, rather than relinquished.

As a cinephile, I found the film “Babygirl” intriguing for its portrayal of the character Esme, played by Sophie Wilde. In this narrative, Esme serves as Romy’s assistant who refuses to be star-struck or submissive, instead keeping her superior in check. This depiction offers a refreshing challenge to the stereotypical ‘alpha woman code’.

When Esme learns about the affair, she informs Romy that she won’t be bought off with a promotion to keep quiet about it. Esme explains that such tactics might have worked in the past, but they’re not how things are handled nowadays. The CEO, who had previously criticized Esme for her relationship with Samuel due to their different positions at the company, is taken aback by this response.

Through this conversation, we gain a multi-generational perspective on the office dynamics depicted in ‘Babygirl’, and it uncovers a weakness in Romy’s automatic “Wonder Woman” mode.

A high-ranking woman struggles under the weight of keeping her social and professional identities flawless. Unlike her male colleagues, she faces significant pressure that is evident in the last discussion between the CEO and a sleazy board member named Sebastian (Victor Slezak), who proposes an unwanted sexual advance to her.

Sebastian’s argument is problematic not only due to the derogatory language about kinks he employs, but also because no indication of consent was ever provided. His arrogant demeanor demonstrates how many men in power often feel secure within the patriarchal and capitalist systems that have nurtured them, and they cling to these structures tenaciously until their last breath.

Romy, who has finally achieved the sexual fulfillment she’s been seeking through exploring her unconventional desires within her relationship, recoils in disgust. In a frosty tone, she informs him that she can easily arrange to be humiliated if she desires, and then dismisses him from the room.

In Reijn’s succinct, medical-like script, it becomes clear once more that the one in charge has always been so, demonstrating that Romy may have reveled in the thrill of giving up control, but she’s never lost her awareness of her personal autonomy and requirements. She can be a Babygirl, yet she belongs to no one – this key distinction is where true freedom lies.

2025-01-10 16:35

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