The Funniest Pieces Of Background Dialogue In Stalker 2: Heart Of Chornobyl

2024’s top open-world game, Stalker 2: Heart of Chornobyl, is teeming with Non-Player Characters (NPCs). Each of these stalkers, with their distinct names and defined personas, have found themselves in the Zone due to one of three reasons – they are drawn to it, aim to destroy it, or seek monetary gain. The majority of NPCs you encounter are engaging in unscrupulous activities.

In this incredible game, I can approach virtually any character and hear a plethora of distinct dialogue lines – there’s always something new! Even the NPCs converse amongst themselves, offering words of encouragement or exchanging news. Here are some of the most unforgettable dialogues between these characters.

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“I Was Wondering Why That Mutant Kept Getting Bigger. Then It Hit Me.”

Dad Jokes In The Zone

I was wondering why that mutant kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.

As a devotee, I find that fellow enthusiasts often boost each other’s spirits by sharing dad jokes, cleverly adapted to fit our unique context. There’s an enduring favorite that Non-Player Characters (NPCs) seem to adore sharing around the campfire.

In Stalker 2’s expansive open landscapes, mutants can pose a significant challenge as they persistently chase you over long distances. If you’re burdened with excessive loot, you may find yourself unable to outrun them fast enough to avoid taking damage. By the time you encounter this joke, it will resonate deeply.

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“When I Kick The Bucket…”

Deathbed Insults

“When I kick the bucket,” he explains, “there’ll be one less Duty prick in the Zone!”

Here is a humorous anecdote highlighting the ongoing tension between the contrasting ideologies of Stalker 2’s factions: The Liberators advocate for self-rule and sovereignty within the Zone, while the Defenders argue that the Zone should be annihilated. Given their deeply rooted differences in principle, it is hardly surprising they occasionally exchange hostile words or actions.

In the town of Zalissya, governed by freedom, a former resident who was once a freedom fighter, now referred to as a stalker, shares a humorous anecdote. He jokes about an old comrade nearing death and urgently requests his younger companions to enroll him in the Duty faction before he passes away. When they ask for an explanation, he explains that by doing so, there will be one fewer member of the Duty group in the Zone when he dies.

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“You’ve Had An Epiphany.”

Wardens Destroyed

A guard visits a psychologist and says, “Doc, I feel like I’m stupid, stingy, and mean. Am I dealing with multiple personalities or something?” The psychologist replies, “No, young one. You’ve had a profound realization.

At the town’s entrance, some non-playable characters (NPCs) take a playful jab at the Ward, within earshot of the wardens on duty. Their joke is about a warden seeking help from a psychologist, expressing feelings of self-doubt and imposter syndrome, questioning if he’s actually intelligent, frugal, and unkind.

The warden suspects it could stem from multiple identities. However, the psychologist offers a more straightforward interpretation: it’s a moment of sudden realization. Pranksters who monitor the inmates often enjoy poking fun at the wardens. Yet, the wardens remain calm and collected.

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“I’m A Controller, Not A Damn Genie.”

Corruption In The Zone

As a fervent admirer, I find myself momentarily halted, and then expressing my sentiment thusly: “Alas, if only the authorities of the IPSF would desist from soliciting bribes from those who wish to traverse the Zone.” However, it’s important to clarify that I am merely a spectator, not some mystical being capable of granting wishes.

The IPSF, like the Ward, is a militaristic group often accused of oppression. Their primary role is to collaborate with the Ukrainian government to monitor and secure the Zone, preventing stalkers from entering. Regrettably, instances of corruption within the IPSF are not uncommon; they may allow stalkers access for a hefty bribe.

In the original version of Stalker, one of the characters humorously references the enigmatic figure known as the Wish Granter or Controller. This character played a significant role in delivering the game’s shocking conclusions. However, it is suggested that even this powerful entity finds it impossible to prevent the IPSF from allowing stalkers inside for bribes, indicating an insurmountable challenge or problem beyond its control.

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“If Your Counter Squeaks…”

Gameplay Advice

Whenever my cabinet sounds like a tiny mouse scurrying around, I’d suggest reaching for a bottle of vodka. If it shakes and hisses like a restless snake, it might be time to consult with the skilled carpenter, Schulz. And if it lets out a wail that echoes a cat in heat, well, grab that vodka bottle once more – this time, for your friends to raise a toast in your honor!

In the game Stalker 2, radiation is a sensitive mechanic that requires careful management. The more radiation you are exposed to, the more your health gradually decreases. If you’re exposed too quickly, you can still perish even if your radiation meter doesn’t reach its maximum. Fortunately, you have a Geiger counter on hand to help you keep a safe distance from contaminated areas.

In a similar vein, I’ve learned the hard way that venturing into contaminated zones (like the Slag Heap) can be fatal without warning. The wisdom shared by the Stalkers serves as a grim reminder: at such perilous stages, even anti-radiation medication or medical aid might prove futile. So, it’s best to have a bottle of vodka on hand – just in case you need a farewell drink for your friends when it’s time to embark on the next chapter.

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“Who Are You So Afraid Of?” “Pretty Much Nobody.”

A Good Stalker Stays Strapped

In the glove compartment lies a Colt 45, while a sniper rifle and a RPG reside in the trunk. This leaves the Wardens puzzled and questioning, “Who exactly are you so apprehensive towards?” The stalker responds casually, “Not many people, really.

The Garbage district within the Zone is one of the most desolate areas, teeming with criminals and thieves, along with mountains of rusty, radioactive debris. It’s advisable to be armed when venturing there, unless the game’s weight restrictions prevent it.

In a different wording, here’s a joke the NPCs share among themselves about this very situation. A Stalker pulls up in town with sniper rifles, magnum revolvers, and an RPG. The Wardens are taken aback and ask him who has him so on edge. To which, the Stalker replies, “Nobody; I just come prepared.

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“He’s Been All Around The Place.”

Gallows Humour

One stalker inquires of another, “What’s up with Alex? It feels like forever since I last saw him.” To which the other replies, “Well, he’s been traveling quite a bit… In fact, he’s found himself in some kind of trouble, let’s say he ended up in a Whirligig.”

One stalker wonders about Alex, asking another, “I haven’t run into him for ages. What’s he been up to?” The other responds, “Oh, he’s been moving around quite a bit. Recently, he seems to have landed himself in some sort of predicament, I guess you could say he’s wound up in a Whirligig.

In the given area, there’s a fair amount of witty sarcasm prevalent, as demonstrated by this bit of rumor. When one stalker inquires about their friend’s whereabouts from another, they are informed: he’s been everywhere – he got himself tangled up in a Whirligig.

In Stalker 2, there are harmful abnormalities that can deplete your health without you realizing they’re there first. One such abnormality is the Whirligig – it grabs you and whirls you at an incredibly fast speed. With this understanding, ‘all around the place’ becomes clearer – unfortunately, poor Alex finds himself in such situations often.

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Guitar

The Instrument Of Choice

In my gaming adventures through Stalker 2, I frequently come across non-player characters strumming an acoustic guitar. There’s something soothing about their melodies, especially those traditional folk tunes they seem to master. The acoustic guitar, both in the game and in reality, is a captivating instrument. It’s relatively simple to learn (at least compared to the violin), portable, and it carries a rich, unadorned sound that resonates beautifully on its own. It’s no wonder that many fellow stalkers share this preference for the acoustic guitar.

In the game, you’ll have an opportunity to play a real-life looking guitar. Once you locate the merchant in Zalissya, venture into his adjacent bedroom which serves as a makeshift lodging for you. Upon waking up, you’ll find a guitar left on the bed next to yours. Grab it and you’ll be able to join campfire gatherings, strumming your newfound instrument. The game is remarkably detailed, ensuring that every chord shape you strike aligns with real-life guitar playing.

2025-01-22 14:04

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