UK hands down first criminal sentence over illegal crypto ATMs

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Crypto Capers: The ATM Operator’s Four-Year Fiasco! 😏💸

Well, my dear friends, hold onto your hats! It appears that Olumide Osunkoya, our underground ATM aficionado, has been sentenced to a rather dreary four years behind bars. This charming escapade marks the UK’s first criminal sentencing for dabbling in the delightfully dodgy world of unregistered crypto shenanigans!

Mr. Osunkoya decided to operate a jolly romp of crypto ATMs all over the UK — and what a proper naughty little venture it was—without so much as a nod to the regulatory authorities! The Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) made the announcement as they dusted off their hats on February 28, declaring it a case of ‘no registration, no party’.

“This sentencing sends such a lovely message,” chirped Therese Chambers, the joint executive director of enforcement and market oversight at the FCA. “Do play nice, dear entrepreneurs! Flouting rules will only lead to a most unpleasant soirée with serious consequences!” 🥳

Now, let’s set the stage: from December 2021 to March 2022, our dear Olumide operated these contraband ATMs at—wait for it—28 separate locations, processing a delectable £2.6 million (that’s a mere $3.14 million for our non-British friends). Quite the haul, wouldn’t you say?

Oh, but it gets better! He simply transferred the ATMs, donned a flashy new name, and operated up to 12 machines under the guise of anonymity, all the while orchestrating a delightful game of cat and mouse with the authorities. Unfortunately, he was all ears and no ethics when it came to preventing money laundering. Tsk, tsk! 🕵️‍♂️

In a crescendo of drama, our protagonist faced Judge Gregory Perrins, who unleashed a monologue worthy of the West End: “Your little escapade was not just a mere oversight but an extravagantly plotted act of rebellion! How utterly audacious!”

Such theatrics followed a 2023 FCA blitz where they embarked on a charming mission to dismantle these rogue machines, visiting 38 locations and taking down 30. From 80 crypto ATMs advertised last year to a dramatic zero this year — something does smell fishy! 🐟

So here’s the FCA’s magnificent closing number: “If you invest in crypto, do brace yourself, dear shoppers, as you may very well lose the whole kit and caboodle!” Ah, what a splendid affair it has been, wouldn’t you agree? 🎭

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2025-03-03 04:00