UK hands down first criminal sentence over illegal crypto ATMs

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Crypto Capers: The ATM Operator’s Four-Year Fiasco! 😏💸

Well, my dear friends, hold onto your hats! It appears that Olumide Osunkoya, our underground ATM aficionado, has been sentenced to a rather dreary four years behind bars. This charming escapade marks the UK’s first criminal sentencing for dabbling in the delightfully dodgy world of unregistered crypto shenanigans!

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Mr. Osunkoya decided to operate a jolly romp of crypto ATMs all over the UK — and what a proper naughty little venture it was—without so much as a nod to the regulatory authorities! The Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) made the announcement as they dusted off their hats on February 28, declaring it a case of ‘no registration, no party’.

“This sentencing sends such a lovely message,” chirped Therese Chambers, the joint executive director of enforcement and market oversight at the FCA. “Do play nice, dear entrepreneurs! Flouting rules will only lead to a most unpleasant soirée with serious consequences!” 🥳

Now, let’s set the stage: from December 2021 to March 2022, our dear Olumide operated these contraband ATMs at—wait for it—28 separate locations, processing a delectable £2.6 million (that’s a mere $3.14 million for our non-British friends). Quite the haul, wouldn’t you say?

Oh, but it gets better! He simply transferred the ATMs, donned a flashy new name, and operated up to 12 machines under the guise of anonymity, all the while orchestrating a delightful game of cat and mouse with the authorities. Unfortunately, he was all ears and no ethics when it came to preventing money laundering. Tsk, tsk! 🕵️‍♂️

In a crescendo of drama, our protagonist faced Judge Gregory Perrins, who unleashed a monologue worthy of the West End: “Your little escapade was not just a mere oversight but an extravagantly plotted act of rebellion! How utterly audacious!”

Such theatrics followed a 2023 FCA blitz where they embarked on a charming mission to dismantle these rogue machines, visiting 38 locations and taking down 30. From 80 crypto ATMs advertised last year to a dramatic zero this year — something does smell fishy! 🐟

So here’s the FCA’s magnificent closing number: “If you invest in crypto, do brace yourself, dear shoppers, as you may very well lose the whole kit and caboodle!” Ah, what a splendid affair it has been, wouldn’t you agree? 🎭

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2025-03-03 04:00