As a huge fan of classic romantic comedies, I can’t help but be utterly enchanted by the timeless tale of “When Harry Met Sally.” Having grown up with this movie as part of my cinematic repertoire, I’ve always been captivated by its exploration of the complexities and intricacies of human relationships.
Thirty-five years later and we’ll still have what she’s having.
Thirty-five years ago, on July 21, 1989, the classic romantic comedy When Harry Met Sally, known for its exploration of the age-old question about male-female friendships, was first released to captivated audiences.
In this version, the renowned movie, helmed by Rob Reiner in its direction and penned by the late Nora Ephron, signified a surprising shift for Billy Crystal from a popular comedian to a leading man in Hollywood films. Additionally, Meg Ryan’s ascent began with this production, making her a beloved symbol of American sweetness and a leading lady in romantic comedies. However, neither actor initially secured the roles that would eventually catapult their careers.
A film that took everyone by surprise, despite its modest $16 million budget, it raked in over $90 million at the box office. The scenes and dialogues from “When Harry Met Sally” continue to resonate strongly, leaving indelible marks in cinematic history.
As a film critic with over a decade of experience under my belt, I’ve seen my fair share of romantic comedies that follow the same tired formula. But then came along “Baby Fish Mouth!” which completely turned the genre on its head. The phrase “Baby Fish Mouth!” became a sensation, and the line “on the side” took on a whole new meaning.
Which stars were in the running for the parts of Harry and Sally, and who ended up meeting their real-life partner during the production of this iconic film? Also, an intriguing question: how did the infamous fake orgasm scene in “When Harry Met Sally…” actually materialize?
In “When Harry Met Sally,” there are 30 hidden facts you might not be aware of, shared by the cast and detailed in Erin Carlson’s book “I’ll Have What She’s Having: How Nora Ephron’s Three Iconic Films Revitalized Rom-Coms.”
After the achievement of “This Is Spinal Tap,” director Rob Reiner sought out writer Nora Ephron, following her success with “Silkwood.” In a meeting intended for a courtroom drama proposal, however, she expressed disinterest. Instead, they ended up discussing their personal lives over dinner.
Around three weeks past, they reconvened, with Reiner admitting later on: “In the aftermath of their initial significant relationships, two individuals chose to abstain from intimacy to safeguard their budding friendship. Sadly, they eventually gave in, and their friendship was adversely affected as a result.”
Ephron jumped right in and started jotting down notes as Reiner and producer Scheinman, both divorced for a decade, shared stories about their single life adventures. Many of these experiences and quips found their way into the screenplay.
At first, they named the film “Scenes from a Friendship,” drawing inspiration from Ingmar Bergman’s “Scenes from a Marriage.” Other potential titles included “Boy Meets Girl,” “It Had to Be You,” and “Harry, This is Sally.” However, they eventually settled on “When Harry Met Sally…” as the final title.
Reiner chose to include ellipses in the script, a choice that disappointed Ephron and drew criticism from many publications and journalists due to their scarcity in the film’s media discourse.
3. At first, Ephron considered casting Reiner, who gained fame from “All in the Family,” as Harry due to his inspiration for the role. However, the director preferred a well-known leading man for the part. They considered Michael Keaton, Tom Hanks, Albert Brooks, and Richard Dreyfuss. None of them accepted the offer. (Tom Hanks reportedly expressed no regret about declining the role later on.)
During this time, Billy Crystal, who is recognized for his comedic talents yet not typically the initial choice for a romantic comedy leading role, remained patiently ready for the opportunity to come his way.
In his memoir, the star shared that he had learned from various sources that [Rob] had interviewed with nearly every male actor around my age, excluding me. However, I was apprehensive about bringing it up since we were friends. Reiner also expressed “nervousness” about the situation, so he meticulously ensured that the Princess Bride star was indeed the “ideal candidate” before contacting Crystal, who was then 40 years old. The events that followed became part of history.
4. During the filming of Harry’s real-life inspiration, Reiner, fortuitously met his future spouse, Michele Singer. She had come to the set to join a friend for lunch. Impressed by her, Reiner managed to join their table. A few short months later, they tied the knot and have remained married ever since.
Regarding Sally, Elizabeth McGovern, who was Reiner’s girlfriend at the time, was originally chosen to act in the role. However, when they broke up, a new lead actress was needed. Molly Ringwald was considered but deemed too young. Meg Ryan and Helen Hunt were among the contenders along with Meg Tilly, after Susan Dey rejected the offer.
After Ryan, who was 26 at the time, demonstrated impressive skills when tried out with Crystal, Reiner remarked, “She’s just what we were looking for.”
6. For the part of Sally in “Steel Magnolias,” Ryan decided to withdraw, allowing another rising actress, Julia Roberts, to take over: (An alternative turning point for the two popular rom-com actors occurred when Ryan declined the leading role in “Pretty Woman,” which ultimately catapulted Roberts’ career.)
7. “Well, we have to have glasses for the character because…Meg’s a lot more attractive than Billy is,” was Ephron’s alleged reasoning for Sally’s specs, with Ryan trying on over 200 pairs before a one-of-a-kind La Roche pair (that cost around $5,000) caught the star’s eye. “These actually do look cute on me,” Ryan said, according to Cheryl Schuman of Starry Eyes Optical Services in I’ll Have What She’s Having, adding the actress kept trying to walk off with them, not realizing they were her prescription glasses.
I let out a self-conscious chuckle. I remarked, “Meg, you’d truly make me proud if you accepted my offer and wore these glasses of mine.” Subsequently, twenty identically styled La Roche horn-rimmed glasses were procured.
8. During the filming of Harry and Sally, Harry was significantly influenced by Reiner. However, many of Sally’s peculiarities in the movie were actually derived from Ephron. For instance, her meticulous way of ordering food, which once inspired Nan to exclaim, “This needs to be in a movie!” as they were having lunch together. Thus, this quirk was incorporated into Sally’s character. (Alternatively, “While Reiner served as Harry’s muse, Ephron’s idiosyncrasies gave life to Sally’s character in the film. A notable example being her intricate ordering habits, which once led Nan to exclaim, ‘This should be a movie moment!’ during lunch.”)
Like Sally would say, she just wanted it the way she wanted it.
9. Marie, Sally’s closest friend, got the role of Carrie Fisher in “Star Wars” despite her friendship with Penny Marshall, Reiner’s ex-wife. The legendary actress, who sadly passed away in 2016 at the age of 60, took over nearly every scene she appeared in, alongside Bruno Kirby as Harry’s best friend Jess who developed feelings for Marie. Tragically, Kirby, a teammate on Reiner and Crystal’s softball squad, died in 2006.
During a game night scene in the movie, Jessica unexpectedly blurted out the memorable line, “Baby fish mouth!” This spontaneous exclamation, which gained national recognition, came about as a result of Ryan’s sketch of baby talk that inspired Jessica.
I reminisced to EW about my conversation with Meg, sharing, “I told her, ‘Feel free to act as you please,’ with no specific instructions in the script. All we requested was for her to portray ‘baby talk.’ The outcome was so delightfully ambiguous!”
At the end of the movie, Harry’s heartfelt declaration of love to Sally on New Year’s Eve, filled with authentic romantic moments like “I adore how your nose wrinkles,” which was actually improvised by Billy Crystal, and the iconic line, “When you know that you want to spend the remainder of your life with someone, you wish for the rest of your life to begin right away,” were revealed by Reiner as unscripted moments.
Reiner chose his 24-year-old daughter Tracy Reiner for an uneasy role in which she portrayed Harry’s young girlfriend Emily (also known as Aunt Emily, the well-known baker). The scenario involved a romantic kiss between them.
Crystal shared an uncomfortable experience: “The situation was a bit strange for me as I have known her since she was young and now had to act as if we were dating in the film,” she admitted. Tracy then explained that Crystal served as a mediator, helping the married actor, who felt uneasy about kissing Ryan, to become more at ease. “It wasn’t really a proper kiss,” Crystal added in an interview for “I’ll Have What She’s Having,” describing their brief onscreen lip-lock.
During filming, Ryan began dating her new beau, Dennis Quaid, her co-star in “D.O.A.” A production team member shared with Erin Carlson of “I’ll Have What She’s Having,” “They were an item. Ryan expressed her dilemma to us, ‘I’ve met this man Dennis. He’s smitten with me, but I’m unsure. Should I marry him? Or, what should I do?'”
In 1991, they got married and welcomed their son, Jack Quaid, into the world before parting ways in 2001. Later on, the actor openly shared his struggles with dealing with Ryan’s burgeoning fame during their time together.
In 2018, during an interview on the Today show, I, the Frequency star, shared a humbling experience. At one point in my life, I was the center of attention, basking in the limelight. We’d stroll through the bustling streets of New York City, and people would call out my name, “Meg! Meg!” I couldn’t deny it; the fame made me feel quite grand.
The phone conversation among Harry, Jess, Sally, and Marie, which occurred after Harry and Sally shared a romantic moment, required numerous retakes. A single error could have disrupted the carefully planned sequence.
As an obsessed fan, I can’t help but share my excitement about being part of a production team that worked tirelessly to capture the perfect shot. I remember us attempting to get it right 61 times! Each take, we’d all hang up our phones in unison – boom, boom, boom boom – striving for the perfect rhythm. It felt like an eternity before we finally nailed it on our 54th try. But just as we celebrated our success, Bruno stumbled over his last line. Frustration set in, and we were forced to start from scratch once more. The journey to perfection was a long one, but the satisfaction of finally getting it right made every effort worthwhile.
15. Sally’s boyfriend Joe, the one who took her to the airport, was played by Steven Ford, the son of President Gerald Ford.
In the opening scene of the film, Harry unintentionally irritates Sally by casually spitting grape seeds out of the car window during their journey, an impromptu addition to the story made during filming by Reiner and Crystal.
Reiner shared with EW that he intended to add some ruggedness to him initially, which resulted in Harry’s brusque demeanor.
In an unexpected turn of events, Shakespeare & Company, the autonomous New York bookstore where Harry and Sally rekindled their relationship among self-help books, served as a source of inspiration for the quaint bookstore featured in Nora Ephron’s “You’ve Got Mail,” which Ryan’s character owned about a decade afterwards.
Later on, Ryan shared her experience of feeling excluded and secluded on the film set amongst the predominantly male company, particularly due to Reiner and Crystal’s strong bond. She explained to The L.A. Times, “The dynamic between them was quite established already, making it difficult for me to find my place. Typically, newcomers arrive and establish their roles on a production. However, this didn’t occur on this film.”
In the early stages of filming, according to a crew member, it was “extremely uncomfortable.” However, by the end of production, as shared in “I’ll Have What She’s Having,” Ryan seemed “quite at ease” with the situation, having developed strong bonds with Ephron and Fisher.
An unexpected inspiration sparked the notorious orgasm scene in which Sally demonstrates to Harry that women are capable of feigning sexual pleasure. This innovative concept arose during a read-through when Ryan proposed, “Why don’t I just go ahead and do it?” Crystal then recommended an unconventional location for this scene, with the iconic Katz’s Deli serving as the backdrop.
Despite her idea, Ryan felt apprehensive and reluctantly began filming when the day arrived. However, Reiner stepped in to demonstrate his vision, earning approval from the entire cast.
The scene earned the film its R rating and Ryan her place as one of the queens of rom-coms.
20. Later on, Ryan explained why he had suggested the fake orgasm for Sally, labeled as “high maintenance.” He said, “Sally’s humor relies heavily on her actions rather than her words. It made perfect sense in the moment and wasn’t a difficult feat to accomplish.”
Regarding the woman who expressed interest in joining Sally, it was none other than Estelle Reiner, the mother of actor Gene Wilder. Despite the possibility that her line might be edited out, she happily agreed to make an appearance. “I don’t mind at all if I get to spend time with my son,” she mentioned in “I’ll Have What She’s Having.” She delivered the iconic line “I’ll have what she’s having” flawlessly within just two takes.
Ever since I first laid eyes on “When Harry Met Sally” upon its release, Katz’s Deli, nestled in New York City’s Lower East Side, has held a special place in my heart. This iconic eatery has transformed into a must-visit destination for tourists, and rightfully so. The deli takes immense pride in their cinematic history, even going as far as organizing a fake orgasm contest to celebrate the film’s 30th anniversary! Can you imagine my excitement as I recreate that iconic scene, sharing it on social media for all to enjoy? It doesn’t get much better than this for an obsessed fan like me.
23. Ryan has never been back to Katz’s since filming.
24. The interstitials of couples telling their respective love stories that play throughout the film? All real stories, just told by actors, the idea coming after Reiner asked one of his dad’s friends how he met his wife. Harry and Sally’s at the end of the film was completely improvised by Crystal and Ryan.
At first, the script for the film originally planned to have Harry and Sally not be a couple at the end. However, by the time of the second revision, Ephron and Reiner came to understand that a joyful conclusion was essential for the marketability of the movie.
As a dedicated follower of the production process, I was surprised when Reiner decided to alter the ending yet again during filming. In this new version, the ex-couple unexpectedly bumped into each other on the street five years later, leaving it open for potential reconciliation. However, test audiences were less than impressed. According to the producer Scheinman, their reaction was so unfavorable that they might as well have pelted us with tomatoes instead of watching the screen.
After falling deeply in love with his future spouse on set, Reiner played a part in ensuring Harry and Sally had a happy ending as well.
Thirty years after the film’s release, Reiner expressed his belief that Harry and Sally are still a couple during a 2019 discussion at the TCM Classic Film Festival. He acknowledged that their relationship may have had its challenges, including moments of contemplating divorce and reuniting, but ultimately believed they were still married.
Instead of a sequel, consider accepting that the story of Harry and Sally has reached its natural conclusion. As Crystal expressed, “As we grow older, what could possibly be the next chapter for Harry and Sally? ‘When Harry Left Sally’ or ‘When Sally Got Sick’? Instead, let us imagine them living out their contented lives together.”
In an interview with USA Today during the promotion of their movie in 1989, both stars addressed the age-old question: Is it possible for men and women to remain just friends?
“Yes, men and women can certainly be good friends,” Ryan explained. “I have many such friendships with men, and intimacy doesn’t complicate things for us.” Regarding Crystal’s perspective, he added, “I’m more hopeful than Harry, but I believe it can be challenging. Men tend to behave like excited dogs in front of a butcher shop when it comes to women. I do have female friends with whom I share a deep bond, but none that could be described as my closest of closest.”
At the 1989 royal film premiere in London, the late Princess Diana, a notable supporter, sat next to Crystal to watch the movie.
During the screening of the film, I noticed most of the crowd holding their breath in anticipation as they waited for the royal’s reaction to a particular scene. The cast and crew were on edge, fearing her response might be less than favorable. But when that moment arrived, she let out an unmistakable laugh, one that was so loud and uncontrollable it brought tears to my eyes. It was a laugh that could make even the most confident man question his choice in dates. In her memoir “I’ll Have What She’s Having,” Crystal recounted how the royal reached out and grabbed her hand, whispering “So naughty” with a mischievous grin.
Diana had a deep affection for WHMS, and she even requested to screen the film at Buckingham Palace for her friends’ enjoyment during their movie nights.
29. An unexpected fan emerged: Ryan’s daughter. When John Mellencamp, who was then Ryan’s fiancé, chose to introduce the teenage girl to the movie “When Harry Met Sally” for the first time, the scene at Katz’s Deli was included.
“Ryan shared with People that he was moving about the house attending to other tasks. However, he could make out distinct sounds from another room. He recognized the cries of ‘Baby fish mouth’ from an adult film and heard John’s exclamations of pleasure. His fourteen-year-old daughter was in the same room, and John quickly hushed his explanation.”
As an obsessed fan, I can’t help but share my excitement when I come across new discoveries related to my favorite movies and actors. And what a delight it was for me to find out that Jack Quaid, Ryan Reynolds’ son with Dennis Quaid, had only recently watched “When Harry Met Sally” for the first time! I mean, can you imagine growing up with such a classic film as part of your cinematic heritage, but only discovering its magic now? What a thrill it must have been for Jack to witness his mother’s iconic scene at Katz’s Deli. Truly, the world of Hollywood is full of wonderful surprises!
The actor expressed, “Guys, if your mom is known for having a iconic orgasm scene in a film, please don’t rush to watch it. I happened to see it while working on a romantic comedy, and it was a pivotal moment for that genre. Afterward, I cried profusely from pride, then phoned her to apologize for missing the movie. She had already seen it once.” His favorite of her performances remains this scene.
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2024-07-21 10:19