Imagine a horde of 42,000 gleaming BTC coins, swaggering about like some enchanted treasure chest worth a staggering $4 billion, all sworn to “maximize bitcoin ownership per share”—because who doesn’t want more shiny bits of digital wizardry?
Tether and Softbank Join Forces with Jack Mallers, the Sorcerer of Strike, to Conjure a Bitcoin Treasury Beast
Picture it: Jack Mallers, the charismatic czar of Strike, now steering a nefarious new bitcoin treasury vessel named Twenty One Capital. This ship is no flotsam—it’s backed by none other than the stable-voiced oracle Tether and the enigmatic shadow, Softbank, whose pockets seem bottomless and who probably have a pet dragon or two. The tale unfolded in a press scroll last Wednesday, setting the stage for this digital odyssey.
But wait, as any good Russian novel demands twists and intrigues—the plot thickens as Twenty One signs a pact with Cantor Equity Partners, a SPAC helmed by Brandon Lutnick, offspring of Howard Lutnick, the commerce grandmaster himself. They’ve gathered a fortress of $585 million through equity sorcery and convertible notes, fueling their quest to amass even more bitcoin booty and keep their corporate engines purring.
Unlike some chameleonic trading houses like Strategy (Nasdaq: MSTR) and Metaplanet—which danced and pirouetted away from their old ways—Twenty One proudly strides forth as the first public entity born solely to shepherd the sacred bitcoin treasury. With a war chest just shy of $4 billion in bitcoin coins, numbering roughly 42,000 BTC, it claims its throne as the third mightiest bitcoin public hoarder, only trailing behind Strategy and the enigmatic miners of Marathon Digital Holdings (Nasdaq: MARA). Their aim? To gorge on more bitcoin, growing their bitcoin per share (BPS) and bitcoin return rate (BRR) like a ravenous dragon clutching its pile.
Jack Mallers, donning his hat of ambition and sly charm, declared, “Our mission is simple: to become the most successful company in Bitcoin. We’re not here to beat the market, we’re here to build a new one. A public stock, built by Bitcoiners, for Bitcoiners.” 🧙‍♂️⚡
One can only imagine—will this mystical alliance summon the dawn of a Bitcoin empire or simply conjure another chapter in the cryptic chronicles of cryptocurrency follies? Stay tuned, comrades, the dance of digital gold continues! 🚀
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2025-04-24 00:04