🔥 NC Lawmaker Says ‘Bye Felicia’ to Traditional Money with Spicy New Crypto Bill! 🚀

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OMG you guys, you’ll never believe what just happened in North Carolina! 🙄 Like, this totally brave (or maybe just caffeinated) representative Neal Jackson just dropped the hottest bill since my 30 Rock series finale. It’s called the Digital Asset Freedom Act, which sounds way fancier than my usual “night cheese” financial planning. 🧀

They’re basically trying to make “digital assets” legal tender, and while they’re not specifically name-dropping Bitcoin like it’s Regina George, the requirements are so specific they might as well have written “Bitcoin, so fetch!” in comic sans. I mean, they want something with $750 billion market cap – what is this, a market cap for ANTS? 🐜

Get this – they want proof-of-work consensus, which is basically like making your computer solve math problems while you watch Real Housewives. And 99.98% network uptime? That’s more reliable than my relationship with food! 🍕

“The General Assembly further finds that decentralized digital assets…” blah blah blah. Look, they’re basically saying they want money that doesn’t inflate faster than my ego after winning an Emmy. 🏆

But wait, there’s more drama! Former Governor Roy Cooper tried to block an anti-CBDC bill faster than Liz Lemon avoiding a blind date. He was like “This is premature,” which is what I say about every deadline ever. 🤦‍♀️

And then Dan Spuller from the Blockchain Association came in like the Glen Coco of crypto, throwing shade at Cooper harder than Jack Donaghy at a liberal arts college. He basically said Cooper missed his chance to be cool, which honestly, same. 💁‍♀️

I haven’t seen this much government drama since I tried to explain to my dad what TikTok is. Working on my night cheese… 🧀

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2025-04-11 00:27