😂 Bitcoin Bounces Back from $83K Bummer! (Crypto Capers) 😂

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Bitcoin‘s Bummer Week

Oh, what a rollercoaster ride! Bitcoin took a dive like a clown at the circus, plummeting to a low of $81,600. But don’t worry, it’s like a rubber ball—bounces right back up to $83,400. Sort of.

Last weekend was as exciting as watching paint dry, with BTC stuck at $84,000. Then, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, it soared to $88,800! But just as we were ready to pop the champagne, it went “poof!”

After some back-and-forth action, the bears decided to throw a party and pushed BTC below the $86,000 line. And just like that, the party was over, and BTC ended up in the red, both daily and weekly. Sad trombone, indeed.

Market cap? Down to under $1.630 trillion. Dominance? A whopping 59%. Someone’s been skipping leg day at the gym!

Altcoins Take a Tumble

Read more$70 million in 24 hours: Can Ethereum crack $4,000 thanks to whales?

Altcoins, oh altcoins, where art thou? ETH took a nosedive, down over 8% from last Sunday. XRP? Down 9% despite winning a lawsuit. It’s like winning the lottery and spending it all on socks.

BNB, SOL, ADA, TRX, LINK, XLM, HBAR, DOT, and LTC all took a dive, like synchronized swimmers belly-flopping into the pool. UNI decided to one-up them all by plunging over 11%. And PI and HYPE? Down by over 20%. Ouch!

But wait, there’s hope! SUI and TON actually gained some ground. TON is up by nearly 4%, and SUI is up by almost 7%. Someone’s been eating their Wheaties!

The total crypto market cap? Below $2.8 trillion. That’s a $200 billion haircut! Time to invest in a wig?

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2025-03-30 12:03