🌌 Crypto Chaos: XRP ETF Shenanigans & WLFI Sell-Off Spectacle 🚀

September 2, 2025 10:52:18 UTC

Amplify Files for Spot Income XRP ETF With a Side of Financial Juggling 🤹‍♂️

Picture this: Amplify, a U.S. investment firm with $12.6 billion under its belt (spread across 70+ ETFs), has decided to dip its toes into the crypto pool with a spot income XRP ETF. Yes, you heard that right-an ETF that combines the rollercoaster ride of XRP prices with the thrilling art of covered calls. It’s like trying to juggle chainsaws while riding a unicycle on a tightrope. The goal? To generate monthly income for investors who want both yield and upside. How noble. Or possibly insane. 🤔

Here’s the kicker: Amplify might not even hold actual XRP. Instead, they’ll be playing around with assets tied to its value. Lawyer Bill Morgan pointed this out, probably while sipping coffee and muttering, “Well, this is either genius or madness.” Either way, the filing is now in the SEC’s hands, awaiting approval-or rejection, depending on how much caffeine the regulators have consumed that day. ☕

September 2, 2025 10:38:54 UTC

Trump-Backed WLFI Faces a Sell-Off So Epic, It Could Star in Its Own Movie 🎬

In other news, WLFI-a token so hot it’s practically radioactive-has been dumped faster than a reality TV star after a scandal. Over 9,000 onchain holders have offloaded more than $22 million worth of WLFI since its launch, with a staggering $1 billion deposited on exchanges. Yes, you read that correctly. BILLION. With a “B.” 🤑

WLFI, which was sold during presale rounds at $0.015 and $0.05, launched at $0.30 on September 1, briefly hitting a peak above $0.33 before plummeting 25% from its all-time high. Data reveals that $18.3 million was sold on Ethereum by 4,649 wallets, while Solana saw its fair share of selling action too. Presale investors, presumably wearing monocles and smoking cigars, are cashing out faster than you can say “profit.” 🚨

So, what’s the moral of the story? If you’re holding WLFI, maybe don’t quit your day job just yet. Unless, of course, your day job involves selling things quickly before they lose value. In which case, congratulations-you’re already ahead of the game. 🎲