🎭 North Korea Hacks Crypto Again? Larry David Explains 🎭

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So, South Korea’s biggest crypto exchange, Upbit, got hacked. Big shocker, right? They lost $36.9 million 🤯. Who needs a James Bond villain when you’ve got North Korea’s Lazarus Group? This crew has been linked to shady crypto heists for years, and now they’re back at it again. 🕵️‍♂️

I mean, seriously, how many times does this have to happen before someone says, “Hey, maybe we should beef up security?” This isn’t their first rodeo. Back in 2019, they lost a boatload of Ethereum to the same group. You’d think they’d learn, but noooooo. 🙄

Anyway, Upbit’s CEO, Oh Kyung-seok, is out here sounding like he’s in charge of damage control. “We’re prioritizing the protection of member assets,” he says. Wow, groundbreaking. Protecting assets? What a concept! 🚨

They’ve moved everything to cold storage now, because apparently, that’s how you keep hackers out. Who knew? 🙃 And they’re working with project teams to freeze stolen funds, but let’s be real, it’s like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands. Good luck with that.

Oh, and Dunamu, Upbit’s operator, promises to reimburse customers. Sure, they’ll get around to it… eventually. 🕰️ Meanwhile, the South Korean National Police Agency is investigating. Bet they’re thrilled about this new case. 🕵️‍♀️

Bottom line: If you’re storing your crypto on Upbit, maybe rethink that. Or don’t. What do I know? I’m just Larry David. 🤷‍♂️

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2025-11-29 10:22