📰 NYT’s Crypto Follies: Ripple CEO Calls Out Media Shenanigans! 🌪️

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Ah, the New York Times, that bastion of intellectual pretension, has once again dipped its quill into the ink of absurdity. Ripple’s CEO, the inimitable Brad Garlinghouse, has taken it upon himself to skewer their recent “hit piece” with the precision of a man who knows his blockchain from his balderdash. 🗡️✨

The article, a masterpiece of misdirection, attempts to paint the SEC’s retreat from its crypto crusades as a tawdry tale of political favoritism. Garlinghouse, however, with the wit of a Wilde and the acumen of a modern-day oracle, declares it a necessary correction of Gary Gensler’s “illegal” and legally dubious enforcement strategy. 🧐⚖️

“This is not journalism,” Garlinghouse proclaims, his voice dripping with the kind of disdain one reserves for a poorly executed sonnet. “This is actively advancing a false and failed narrative.” One can almost hear the ghost of Wilde chuckling in the background, delighted by such a scathing rebuke. 👻📜

“Crypto dementia” 🧠💨

Garlinghouse is not alone in his critique. Paul Grewal, Coinbase’s chief legal officer, and Alex Thorn, Galaxy Digital’s research maestro, have joined the chorus of dissent. Grewal, with the precision of a surgeon, dissects the article’s headline and tone, revealing its implication of corruption as nothing more than a fabricated specter. “No evidence? No problem!” the Times seems to say, as it spins its tale of political intrigue. 🕵️‍♂️🤥

Thorn, ever the astute observer, accuses the Times of relying on the Gell-Mann amnesia effect, a clever ploy to ensure readers remain blissfully unaware of the previous administration’s anomalous behavior. “Crypto dementia,” he calls it, a term so apt it deserves a standing ovation. 🎭🎉

In the end, one must marvel at the Times’ ability to transform journalism into a farcical performance. As Wilde might have quipped, “The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing.” Perhaps the Times should take a page from his book and resist the temptation to fabricate narratives. After all, the truth, my dear, is far more entertaining. 🌟🤡

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2025-12-15 23:54