😱No Bitcoin for US?! Schiff’s SHOCKING Prediction!😱

by

Ah, the esteemed financial commentator, Peter Schiff, he of the perpetually furrowed brow and the pronouncements of doom! He has, with the gravity of a man discovering his samovar is empty, declared that the United States shall not, nay, will not, be buying any of those digital trinkets called Bitcoin. 🙄

“The U.S. will not buy any Bitcoin, and neither will other nations. Their leaders are not that dumb,” Schiff declared, with the air of one who has seen the abyss and found it… lacking in investment potential. One might almost suspect he believes himself the sole possessor of wisdom in a world drowning in folly. 🤪

The U.S., in a move shrouded in as much mystery as a Gogolian bureaucrat’s motives, established a strategic Bitcoin reserve in early March. But hold! There is a twist, a snare, a veritable nose-tweak from the capricious gods of finance! The reserve shall initially concern itself with holding the forfeited coins, those poor, orphaned digital kopeks. Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent, with the solemnity of a man signing his own tax return, stated that the government might explore avenues for purchasing Bitcoin. However, the initial focus, mark you, is on halting the sales of the tokens already clutched in the government’s clammy, bureaucratic hand. 🏦

The odds, those fickle numbers that dance to the tune of speculation, of the U.S. creating a national Bitcoin reserve in 2025 have now plummeted to a mere 51%! One might as well bet on a pig learning to play the balalaika. This market, which already boasts $2.5 million in volume, will only resolve to “Yes” if the U.S. government acquires additional coins on top of the confiscated ones. A bureaucratic riddle wrapped in a digital enigma! 🤔

Bloomberg, that august chronicler of financial foibles, previously estimated that there is only a 30% chance of the U.S. government actually buying BTC this year. A purchase so unlikely, one might expect to see a bear riding a bicycle through Red Square first. The unlikely purchase could be financed with the Exchange Stabilization Fund (ESF). A fund so mysterious, one suspects it is powered by the tears of bewildered taxpayers. 💸

Meanwhile, the strategic Bitcoin reserve race is heating up among individual states, with Arizona seemingly racing ahead of other contenders. A race so absurd, one half expects to see governors dressed as Cossacks, galloping towards the finish line with digital wallets clutched in their teeth! 🐎

Schiff, of course, has been a staunch critic of the Bitcoin reserve initiative, ridiculing the idea that it could kickstart a new “arms race” with China. An arms race fought not with bullets and bombs, but with…cryptocurrency! One shudders to imagine the battle plans. ⚔️

However, he will refrain from selling his own modest Bitcoin reserve that consists of contributions from community members because he wants to set an example of what you are not supposed to do. A noble sacrifice, indeed! A testament to the enduring power of… holding onto something you secretly believe is worthless. 😂

Read More

2025-04-18 13:11