🤑 Bitwise’s ETF: Stablecoins, Tokens, and Thanksgiving Dreams 🦃

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Well, butter my blockchain and call me a stablecoin, because Bitwise Asset Management has decided it’s time to shake things up. In a move that screams, “We’re not just here for the crypto winter,” they’ve filed a proposal with the SEC for the Bitwise Stablecoin & Tokenization ETF. Because nothing says “financial innovation” like a fund that’s part crypto, part traditional, and all confusion. 🧮💸

The Fund: A Two-Sleeve Circus 🎪

According to the filing-which I’m sure was written in the most thrilling legalese-this ETF will mirror the Bitwise Stablecoin & Tokenization Index. It’ll invest at least 80% of its assets in two “sleeves,” because why have one sleeve when you can have two? The equity sleeve will cozy up to 20 major companies involved in stablecoin issuance, tokenization infrastructure, and other buzzwords that make grandmas clutch their pearls. Meanwhile, the crypto asset sleeve will hold exchange-traded products and oracles-not the kind that predict the future, but the kind that support blockchain infrastructure. Sadly, no direct crypto investments, so don’t expect to see Bitcoin on the guest list. 🎟️🚫

Regulatory Momentum: Thanksgiving or Bust? 🍗

Bloomberg’s Eric Balchunas-the Nostradamus of ETFs-thinks this thing could launch by Thanksgiving. Because nothing says “gratitude” like a new crypto fund. This comes hot on the heels of Bitwise’s Avalanche (AVAX) ETF filing, proving they’re playing crypto Jenga and loving every minute of it. 🦃💨

NEW: @BitwiseInvest just filed for a Stablecoin & Tokenization ETF. Will invest in both stocks and crypto assets. 🎉
– James Seyffart (@JSeyff) September 16, 2025

Meanwhile, the Federal Reserve is hosting a conference on tokenized financial products, and SEC Chair Paul Atkins is calling for relief measures to keep U.S. investors from feeling left out of the tokenized party. Because nothing says “regulation” like a last-minute scramble to stay relevant. 🎉📜

If approved, Bitwise’s fund will join a crypto ETF pipeline so crowded it makes Black Friday look like a yoga retreat. Coinbase and Kraken are already eyeing tokenized equities, while industry groups whisper about unresolved risks like settlement and ownership rights. Because what’s a little financial innovation without a side of chaos? 🤹‍♂️💥

By targeting stablecoin infrastructure and tokenized assets, Bitwise is betting the future will be a blurry mess of crypto and traditional markets. The SEC’s approval would not only test their evolving stance on tokenization but also pit crypto-native firms against Wall Street in a battle royale. Popcorn not included. 🍿🏆

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2025-09-16 23:55