🤑 SEC’s Gogol-esque Crypto Twist: Tokens, Trump, and Absurdity! 🌪️

by

Ah, the grand theater of the U.S. SEC, where under the watchful eye of the Trump administration, the once-stern guardians of finance have begun to waltz with digital phantoms, their steps as uncertain as a nose in Gogol’s *The Nose*! 🕺💼

In a recent spectacle, the illustrious SEC Chair Paul Atkins, with a flourish worthy of a Gogol protagonist, hinted at a revolution in the classification of crypto tokens. At the Wyoming Blockchain Symposium in Jackson Hole, a place as peculiar as any in Gogol’s imagination, Atkins proclaimed that only a minuscule fraction of these digital curiosities should be branded as securities. What a twist of fate! 🌪️📜

Tokens, Tokens, Everywhere, and Not a Security to Declare!

“We cannot, in our bureaucratic wisdom, declare every token a security!” Atkins exclaimed, his voice echoing through the halls of regulatory absurdity. “From the SEC’s lofty perch, we shall plow forward, declaring that the token itself is but a shadow, a mere whisper in the wind. Few, oh so few, are the tokens that deserve the label of securities, but beware the packaging, the siren song of their sale!” 🎭💨

The SEC’s Quixotic Quest for Clarity

Atkins, with the zeal of a man chasing his own nose, stressed that the SEC’s sacred duty is to craft rules as clear as a Gogolian fog. In a missive on the modern oracle of X, he proclaimed:

“We must forge a framework that shields the crypto markets from the mischievous hands of regulation. I, with my fellow bureaucrats, shall embark on this noble quest, armed with quills and parchment!” 🗡️📜

I had a delightful tête-à-tête with @TeresaGoody at the @SALTConference’s Wyoming Blockchain Symposium, where we discussed my grand designs as @SECgov chairman, including the fanciful Project Crypto and the revival of IPOs. A new dawn breaks at the SEC, as absurd as any Gogol tale!

Thread 

– Paul Atkins (@SECPaulSAtkins) August 19, 2025

Congress Joins the Farce

While Atkins weaves his regulatory tapestry, Congress, not to be outdone in this grand farce, has taken up its own quill. The CLARITY Act, passed in July, and a forthcoming market-structure bill in September, add to the cacophony of legislative theater. 🏛️🎭

Atkins, ever the showman, unveiled “Project Crypto,” a grand scheme to modernize securities laws. Among its wonders:

  • Clear standards for when tokens dare to call themselves securities
  • Safe harbors for token launches, lest they drown in regulatory seas
  • Approval for “super-apps,” those digital leviathans combining trading, lending, and more under a single license.

Trump’s Crypto Carnival

In a Fox Business interview, Atkins revealed that the SEC, in a fit of zeal, is marshaling all its divisions to fulfill President Trump’s vision of a crypto-friendly America. What a spectacle! 🎪🇺🇸

JUST IN: SEC Chair Paul Atkins discusses ‘Project Crypto,’ a tale as bizarre as any Gogol concoction.

– Bitcoin.com News (@BTCTN) August 15, 2025

The SEC, in its infinite wisdom, is also revisiting crypto custody rules, pondering how broker-dealers, asset managers, and advisers handle these digital curiosities. “Certainty, my dear citizens, is the goal of this grand endeavor!” Atkins declared, his voice dripping with Gogolian irony. 🧐🔍

And so, as the SEC’s stance evolves and Congress joins the dance, the stage is set for a regulatory reset in the United States, a comedy of errors as absurd as any Gogol novel. Curtain up! 🎭🌪️

Read More

2025-08-20 14:09