🤡 Trump’s Circus Ends Shutdown? XRP ETF Next in the Ring? 🎪

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Ah, the grand theater of American politics! The U.S. government shutdown, now in its fourth week, has become a spectacle worthy of the Master and Margarita themselves. According to the ever-optimistic Kevin Hassett, Trump’s court jester-er, advisor-the farce may finally conclude this week. And what then? Why, the XRP ETF ruling, of course! Because nothing says “resolution” like a crypto circus following a political sideshow. 🌪️

Trump’s Oracle Proclaims the End of the “Schumer Shutdown”

On a Monday as gray as a Moscow winter, White House economic adviser Kevin Hassett-a man who speaks in riddles and half-truths-declared that the budget impasse, dubbed the “Schumer shutdown” by the Republican jesters, could end this week. Ah, Schumer, the Senate’s own Azazello, holds the key to this infernal lock! Or so Hassett claims, with a wink and a nudge. 🤹‍♂️

Moderate Democrats, those elusive creatures of the political forest, are supposedly the saviors of the day. Once the government reopens, Hassett assures us, policy discussions will resume-as if they ever truly stopped. But beware! If the stalemate persists, the administration may unleash “stronger measures,” whatever that means. Perhaps a chorus of cats playing pianos? 🎹

Analysts, ever the soothsayers, interpret these words as a sign of a short-term funding deal before November’s fiscal deadlines. Markets, those fickle beasts, may take this as bullish for risk assets, including cryptocurrencies. But then again, markets are as predictable as a Bulgakov novel. 🧙‍♂️

The Shutdown’s Freeze: SEC in Slumber, XRP ETF on Hold

The shutdown has cast a spell of inertia over U.S. federal agencies, with the SEC lying dormant like a hibernating bear. Crypto ETF filings, including the much-anticipated XRP ETF, are trapped in bureaucratic limbo. But fear not! Should the shutdown end this week, the SEC will awaken from its slumber, ready to tackle the backlog of applications. 🧊

Among the eager suitors are Grayscale, Bitwise, CoinShares, and Wisdom, whose XRP-focused products await their fate. The SEC’s calendar marks October 18 to 25, 2025, as the window for evaluation-a date as distant as the moon for those in crypto’s impatient ranks. 🌕

Crypto Titans to Meet Senate Sorcerers on October 22

In a plot twist worthy of Woland himself, a clandestine roundtable is set for October 22. Leaders from Coinbase, Ripple, and Circle will gather with U.S. Senators to discuss the crypto market structure bill. Behind closed doors, of course, where deals are struck and fates are sealed. Will this meeting shape the future of digital assets, or will it be just another chapter in the endless saga of regulatory ambiguity? 🗝️

Meanwhile, the crypto market shows its fragile side, with total capitalization dipping 3% to $3.64 trillion. Bitcoin holds steady near $108,000, while XRP takes a tumble, down 2.4% to $2.41. Ah, the whims of the market-as unpredictable as a cat’s loyalty. 🐱

And so, dear reader, we await the next act in this grand drama. Will the shutdown end? Will the XRP ETF be approved? Only time-and perhaps a bit of magical intervention-will tell. Until then, let us enjoy the show, for in the words of the Master, “Manuscripts don’t burn.” 🔥

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2025-10-21 13:37