If you, dear reader, had wagered your inheritance on Coinbase remaining ever orthodox, prepare to send regrets to your bookmaker. The titans of crypto have flung open the creaking mahogany doors to the world of DEX trading (decentralized, for those who’ve misplaced their spectacles)-and, marvel of marvels, it’s now sewn into the very fabric of the Coinbase app. Users, unless lost in the Byzantine corridors of Web2, may now trade millions of on-chain assets directly and even feign sophistication at dinner parties. 🍸
Upon this scene, a glittering parade of Base-native tokens marches forth: Virtuals AI Agents, Reserve Protocol DTFs, SoSo Value Indices (one can’t help but be tickled by that name), Auki Labs, and the indomitable Super Champs-all made available in the hallowed Coinbase app. Don’t ask what any of these projects do; the point is that someone in a Patagonia fleece is thrilled, somewhere. 🤖🏅
Volumes, I am told, are positively erupting on Base, no doubt because of a Base developer’s timely reminder regarding the $2 billion in daily DEX volumes on the layer-2 network. In crypto, if anyone tells you the volume, they truly believe you will be impressed, and perhaps you ought to be. Or feign it, at least. 💸
Meanwhile, Brian Armstrong, the CEO himself, has alighted from the high towers of Silicon Valley to deliver oracular pronouncements. He notes, with the modesty of a man who’s just cornered the butter market, that DEX trading presently tickles only 1% of Coinbase’s user base-one can’t help but think of the champagne and regret in San Francisco’s boardrooms. Armstrong, however, assures us this is merely the overture for what will ultimately support “every chain our customers want.” How democratic. How thrilling. How vague.
DEX trading rolled out to 1% in the Coinbase app – still early. Will ultimately support every chain our customers want.
– Brian Armstrong (@brian_armstrong) August 12, 2025
So there you have it, Armstrong’s mighty refrain: “DEX trading rolled out to 1% in the Coinbase app-still early. Will ultimately support every chain our customers want.” It positively sings with the optimism of a government pamphlet. 🎺
More to come?
What’s more, this DEX feature graciously routes orders through the noble houses of 0x and 1inch, ushering users toward liquidity on Uniswap, Aerodrome, and assorted other dens of digital speculation. What a time to be alive, or at least awake! 🍾
Sadly (or perhaps mercifully), only U.S. users, save for those marooned in New York State, may partake, on the Base network. International expansion is, as ever, looming-wrapped in that indefinable “soon” beloved by tech visionaries everywhere.
Coinbase whispers that a wider array of Base assets shall soon clutter your app screens. Soon, too, the grand tapestry of DEX support will envelop exotic lands: Solana’s idiosyncratic charms first, then onwards to additional countries not yet specified (hold your applause). 🌍
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2025-08-12 19:50