These 40-Year-Old Virgin Secrets Are Much Perkier Than Bags of Sand

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Judd Apatow‘s first time didn’t happen until he was 37.

The highly successful creator, whose accomplishments now encompass a film and television empire, didn’t make his directorial debut until well into his 30s or 40s. His first movie as a director was “The 40-Year-Old Virgin“, featuring Steve Carell (a real-life married father of two) portraying the character Andy, a very considerate man who works at an electronics store and has never mustered the courage to approach a woman due to his immense respect for them.

Previously, Apatow was part of a TV series titled “Freaks and Geeks,” as he shared with TopMob News in 2005 when the movie was released. He mused, “Suppose one of the geeks never experienced intimacy and it’s been two decades. What would he do then? It would still be hilarious, heartwarming, and you’d cheer for him.

As a dedicated follower, I can attest that “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” significantly elevated Judd Apatow’s reputation as a creator of lengthy, uncensored comedies imbued with a tender touch, primarily focusing on somewhat immature yet decent men who deliver uproarious dialogue.

And it was a hit, raking in more than $177 million at the box office worldwide.

Steve is incredibly kind-hearted, Apatow stated during an episode of Ted Danson’s podcast, “Where Everybody Knows Your Name,” prior to the 20th anniversary of the R-rated comedy. At the outset, we pondered, “What if we approached this with sincerity, focusing on the emotional aspect rather than just making it a typical, over-the-top film.

Instead, the director clarified that their aim was to explore “the root causes of his struggles: his emotional barriers, the need to overcome his embarrassment, feelings of inferiority, and insecurities. They aimed to delve deep into the authentic truth behind these issues.

Prior to reaching the movie’s climactic point, several elements needed to align perfectly. Here are some amusing and delightful behind-the-scenes facts about “The 40-Year-Old Virgin”:

Steve Carell, a comedy veteran known from his role as a satirical news correspondent on The Daily Show and his memorable performance as Brick in Anchorman, found himself in a slightly uncertain position in 2005. Although he was already a well-recognized figure in the comedy world, his leading man status as a romantic interest was still largely untested. This was because The Office, an American adaptation of a British series, had only recently premiered in March 2005 as a mid-season replacement (Why an American version of The Office? I wasn’t expecting that!). It would take some time for the show to gain popularity, so Carell’s leading man status was yet to be fully established.

Back in 2019, I, a die-hard fan, gleefully recall Director Judd Apatow’s words on the Your Mom’s House podcast. After collaborating with Steve Carell on Anchorman, he boldly declared that he was completely convinced Carell’s humor was as immense as a human could possibly possess!

In a 2005 interview on “Rove Live”, Andy (Carell) humorously stated, “I’ve abstained from sexual activity for forty years”. He explained, “I thought this approach would serve me best.

In a genuine manner, to truly immerse himself in the character of an adult sexual novice, a man unfamiliar with the sensation of a breast that doesn’t feel like a damp sack of sand, Carell shared, we delved into case studies about middle-aged virginity. It turned out that many individuals resembled this character. They weren’t damaged or peculiar; they were simply people who, for one reason or another, had missed out on opportunities and eventually chose to stop trying altogether.

In a conversation about writing a script focused on his character’s romantic pursuits, Carell shared that his wife, Nancy Walls Carell, hadn’t watched the movie until its premiere. He recalled how during the first passionate scene between him and another actor, he noticed her body tensing up in her seat. He explained that she was aware of his acting skills not being up to par for this particular scene, as he seemed to be enjoying himself excessively. This conversation took place on Rove Live.

He quipped, “So there were words at home.”

Nancy might not have watched the entire film until its end, but she does make an appearance in a brief role as the family clinic’s counselor. In this scene, Andy poses a question to her: “Is it really true that if you don’t use something, you eventually lose it?

In a memorable instance, Carell went through the process of chest waxing, which was essential for the scene’s authenticity. Consequently, his genuine shock and pain in that moment, as well as his friends’ reactions, were all captured on camera. He pointed out his red chest to the host of Rove Live, requesting him to closely examine a clip. “Look how red my chest is,” he said, “and if you look very closely in the middle, you can see blood pooling right there, yes…It’s something that still frightens me to rewatch. I have immense admiration for women who can endure such a process.

On a normal day, Carell shared, “I could comb my chest hair over to my back.”

On the film set, the ladies suggested that he either get a hair cut first or take some pain reliever (apparently a wise move before waxing, by the way), but he chose to endure the discomfort instead.

Just moments before the tearing began, he reminisced, “I realized, ‘This is the most foolish plan I’ve ever conceived.’ As five cameras were poised to record the torment from every perspective, the scene unfolded humorously. The laughter in the clip indicates that everyone on set found it amusing, despite the fact that I was genuinely suffering – and this time, there was no acting involved. This is an experience you can’t fake.

Additionally, it was Miki Mia who portrayed the waxer, not a real esthetician or any other licensed professional in the role. As Carell explained, “A real waxing technician would put oil on your nipple before pulling it,” but as he added, “She didn’t use oil, so when she pulled…well, let’s just say I was left feeling quite vulnerable.

He recalled, “Upon my arrival home, once more, my wife showed signs of alarm. That day, I found myself referred to as the ‘pumpkin man,’ with features resembling two eyes, a nose, and a mouth.

In simpler terms, Apatow told ABC News over the summer that there’s nothing more amusing than a group of men providing poor guidance to a well-intentioned man who is merely trying to navigate his day.

Characters in an Apatow film are often known for their witty and swift responses, while the comedians who collaborate on these movies are recognized for spontaneously delivering numerous hilarious one-liners.

During the scene where Steve Carell’s character, Andy, shouted “Kelly Clarkson” while getting waxed, it wasn’t explicitly written in the script, but the line was pre-approved as one of the allowed exclamations or expressions.

Seth Rogen was singled out by Apatow on Kelly Clarkson’s talk show this summer. According to Apatow (during a Zoom conversation), there’s a photo of a list containing all the swear words they made Steve yell when he got waxed, and on that list, in Seth’s handwriting, is the name ‘Kelly Clarkson,’ found under the ‘clean words’ section.

The singer exclaimed, “That’s fantastic! It’s remarkable I ended up sandwiched between ‘burger underwear’ and ‘throbbing monkey appendage.’ ” She chuckled, explaining, “Let me tell you, no matter what achievements I have in my life, it seems that people only recall me for that one thing. Despite performing for presidents and a pope, it all fades into insignificance compared to that.” (In case you meet her and say, “Ah, Kelly Clarkson!” and she responds as if you’re the first-she’s simply being polite.)

Before her fame on “Glee” and “Party Down,” Jane Lynch was primarily recognized for her impressive performance in “Best in Show.” She was friends with Steve Carell, who advocated for her to portray his bold superior at Smart Tech.

Originally, the part I play was intended for a male actor, but Steve championed me and suggested, “Let’s get Jane for this role,” Lynch shared with Access Hollywood in May. Whatever we came up with during our audition performances was ultimately included in the final film.

Elizabeth Banks portrayed Beth, a charming bookstore clerk who was on the receiving end of Andy’s initial flirtatious advances, and interestingly enough, she enjoys flirting from time to time as well.

In 2011, while speaking with Esquire, the actress and director chuckled, expressing her eagerness for her children to see the film, particularly referring to Beth’s bold bathtub scene where she takes the initiative without needing Andy. She explained, “Well, I wasn’t in that scene, but I’m never ashamed of something that brings laughter. That girl was a free spirit living in the Valley, working at a bookstore, attending community college, and had quite the adventurous tastes in the bedroom. Her zest for life resonated with me.

Leslie Mann is portraying the character Nicky, who is tipsy, and she is one of several potential romantic interests for Andy, with whom he doesn’t end up losing his virginity. Leslie Mann and Apatow first met while working on the 1995 film “The Cable Guy,” where Apatow served as a producer. They tied the knot in 1997.

In an interview with ABC News Now’s ‘Popcorn With Peter Travers’ in 2009, Mann expressed that she enjoys spending time immensely with Judd. She finds him exceptional, not only as a director but also as a person. He allows her to contribute creatively and even brings the family into the editing room. It’s a welcoming environment where their children, Maude Apatow (age 22) and Iris Apatow (age 17), both actors who have worked with him since ‘Knocked Up’, feel comfortable visiting.

In his conversation with Travers, Apatow expressed that he considers himself fortunate, stating, “I’m blessed to be around such an extraordinary individual.” He further added that there’s always a sense of uncertainty in their relationship, feeling as if they’ve only been dating for three weeks and she could suddenly change things up on him. Working with Leslie, however, has been a remarkable experience as she effortlessly combines intense acting skills with witty humor that is brutally funny.

To prepare for portraying Nicky, Mann sought an authentic experience by going to a club with Seth Rogen, who was both a producer on the film and a friend, along with Denise. Afterward, she reviewed the footage Rogen captured that night and was genuinely shocked by what she saw.

She expressed, “For all these years, I believed I was being adorably quirky, but in reality, it’s far from endearing,” as per Apatow on the ‘Your Mom’s House’ podcast.

In that moment, it was young Maude, aged 7, who proposed an unusual solution – for Nicky to doze off while driving.

Reflecting back on it now, it appears as though a child without prior knowledge might have come to the same conclusion about what happens to a person driving under the influence of alcohol.

During an interview with Entertainment Tonight, the actress, who worked alongside Carell in the 2018 drama “Welcome to Marwen,” shared that filming the four-day sequence involving complex, animated props was enjoyable.

In the film, Catherine Keener, known for playing the character Trish, who ultimately clinches all deals with Andy by the end, confessed that she initially needed some time to acclimate herself to Apatow’s approach to movie-making.

In 2010, she shared with NPR that Judd never really commanded “cut,” instead he’d say “reload.” We’d blast through countless magazines (films) because everyone was improvising so much. It was hilariously chaotic. Plus, you had to forget about being self-conscious on that movie set since it was like an all-out, anything-goes situation – even the writers would join in by offering jokes from behind the curtain.

In remembrance, Keener mentioned, ‘I’d often recognize a booming laughter, and I knew it was Seth Rogen. At that moment, I thought, wow, I’ve managed to make Seth laugh. That was something like…’

In a 2009 special Oscars edition of The New York Times Magazine, Keener highly commended the skilled actress Kat Dennings, who portrayed Trish’s daughter, Marla.

Even though the twice-Oscar-nominated actress might have needed some time to adapt to Apatow’s style, the 18-year-old Dennings seemed incredibly comfortable in the role. As Keener recalled in an essay, there was a particular scene where her character, eager to lose her virginity, was arguing with me. As a mother, I didn’t want her to grow up too quickly. Kat’s character was crying in the bathroom, and I was standing outside the door with Steve…During that moment, Kat was shouting at me – using harsh language, yelling, and hurling insults that weren’t even written in the script. This took me by surprise, and I turned to Steve, bewildered, asking, ‘I don’t understand what she’s saying.’

Despite being an impromptu addition, Judd decided to include that particular line in the film as I effectively portrayed a frustrated mother, which was largely thanks to Kat’s passionate outburst.

As a lifestyle expert, let me share an insightful behind-the-scenes moment from the recent premiere of our show. Despite the intense, emotionally charged scenes we often face, there’s always a touch of humor lurking around. For instance, during the Planned Parenthood scene, I had to use a little trick to make it through – I was pinching my thigh so hard that my hand wasn’t visible on screen! This technique came in handy because I wasn’t sure if I could pull off that scene at all. It took an extraordinary amount of time and effort…I felt like I was pushing myself to the brink, fearing that it might be my last performance.

Discussing Andy’s pristine toy collection, Marla jokes about the character Thor. Notably, Emily Dennings portrayed Darcy in both ‘Thor’ and ‘Thor: The Dark World’.

On the 52nd day, Apatow surpassed his team’s record (for this specific team) by filming one million feet of footage. Typically, directors film between 300,000 to 500,000 feet for a full-length movie. To celebrate, he treated the cast and crew with bottles of scotch, while the studio sent champagne as well.

In a roundabout way, Rogen participated in speed dating, adopting the pseudonym Seth “Roven,” as a means to get ready for the scene where Cal, Andy, Paul Rudd’s David, and Romany Malco’s Jay take part in speed dating during their lunch break.

Approximately a week into filming, Universal decided to halt production, as Steve Carell reminisced, as detailed by Apatow in his 2016 book “Sick in the Head“. During the shooting of a scene on location, Judd Apatow unexpectedly informed us that they were shutting down the project.

It transpired that the studio provided Rudd with some suggestions, and among them was a comment about his character being overweight, indicating he should consider losing some pounds.

According to Mann, they believed that Paul was overweight. However, Paul decided to lose weight and drastically reduced his food intake. If you compare Paul Rudd during the speed-dating scene with his appearance in other parts of the film, you can notice that he appears approximately 10 pounds heavier. Later in the movie, his hairstyle looks stylish and he seems thinner.

In 2011, during an interview with Playboy, Paul Rudd, who later became Ant-Man in the Marvel universe, shared that his director, Judd Apatow, has an unusual preference for him: “Contrary to what studios usually expect or other directors desire, but it’s different with Judd. Every time we collaborate, he expresses a wish for me to gain weight. He often says, ‘I prefer a plump Rudd.’

In a similar vein as performers and comedians often say, everything can become part of the script at some point. For instance, Paul Rudd mentioned an incident from the film “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” where his character discusses heartbreak and weight gain with Steve Carell. He improvised that line because he had followed Judd Apatow’s advice to gain weight a bit too enthusiastically before filming began. The studio then criticized him, saying, “You’ve become overweight. Lose some pounds.

Experiencing this movie for the first time offered an unexpected delight, as the climax came unpredictably when the character Andy, freshly experienced in love, suddenly began to sing “Aquarius/Let the Sun Shine In” by The 5th Dimension, leading to a grand finale dance with the entire cast.

Together, Apatow and Carell struggled to find the perfect ending for their film. They sought advice from Garry Shandling, who was not only their director’s mentor but also someone that Apatow later honored with a book and an HBO documentary titled “The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling.

According to Apatow, Shandling repeatedly emphasized to both Steve Carell and himself, “You need to find a way to convey that his lovemaking is superior to his friend’s, because he genuinely loves her.” He persisted, saying, “You’ve got to figure out how to demonstrate this!” To which I responded, “Garry, I can’t depict the sex acts, I don’t know how to conclude this story.” One day, Steve suggested, “What if I just sing a song?” and I agreed, “Yeah, something like ‘Let the Sunshine In.'” We both thought, “That sounds good!

Apatow observed, “It’s a mysterious charm, its success in making people laugh is unexplained, and it’s likely you’ll never witness Seth Rogen dancing quite like that again.

True, lightning generally never strikes the same place twice.

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2025-08-19 10:18