Behold! Bitcoin, the grand savior of mankind-or at least of those who fear inflation, AI overlords, and politicians with printing presses! Tim Draper, ever the optimist, declares its ascent unstoppable. Quelle surprise! 🤷♂️
Tim Draper Proclaims Bitcoin the Only Cure for AI, Inflation, and Politicians Gone Wild
Ah, Monsieur Draper-venture capitalist extraordinaire, early backer of Tesla, SpaceX, and other ventures that make peasants like us weep with envy-has once again graced the mortals with his wisdom. In an interview with CNBC (because where else would such divine prophecies be shared?), he declared:
“This is a most exhilarating epoch! Bitcoin shall upheave the economy like a tempest in a teapot!”
But wait-there’s more! Draper, ever the visionary, laid out his trifecta of doom (or delight, depending on your portfolio):
“First, Bitcoin shall revolutionize the economy. Second, AI shall steal thy jobs. Third, stem cells shall grant thee immortality. Thus, thou shalt be unemployed, rich, and live forever-quelle conundrum!”
As for Bitcoin’s price? Draper, ever the patient prophet, clings to his $250,000 prediction like a miser to his last sou. “Alas, I have not yet been proven right,” he lamented, “but halfway there is still très exciting!”
And why Bitcoin, you ask? Because, mon ami, it is the ultimate shield against bad governance-those pesky politicians who print money like confetti at a royal ball. Draper proclaimed:
“Buy Bitcoin! ‘Tis the only hedge against rulers who spend like drunken sailors!”
On regulation, Draper-ever the diplomat-suggested even governments might someday stop flailing like headless chickens: “They whisper promises of clearer rules for crypto. But spending? That never ceases, regardless of which fool sits on the throne!”
And altcoins? Draper shrugged. “They dabble, they experiment-but Bitcoin is the sun around which all other coins orbit. Gravity, mes amis, is inevitable!” 🌌
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2025-08-26 03:59