In a move that would make even the most hardened dwarfs in the Ankh-Morpork Treasury raise an eyebrow, Strategy has just plopped down enough gold coins-1,955 of those shiny bitcoin things-for a casual $217.4 million. Yes, you read that right. While most respectable institutions would clutch their purses and scurry away, Strategy just smiled, tipped its hat, and said, “Hold my wizard staff.”
This wasn’t just any purchase. It came with a price tag of around $111,196 per bitcoin-an amount that surely makes most accountants weep quietly in the corner. But for Strategy, plowing through piles of bitcoins like a troll through a buffet is just Tuesday. The firm’s grand hoard now boasts a mind-boggling 638,460 BTC, amassed at a princely total of $47.17 billion, averaging about $73,880 a pop. (In case you’re counting, that’s enough satoshis to keep a small city buzzing.)
Strategy has acquired 1,955 BTC for ~$217.4 million at ~$111,196 per bitcoin and has achieved BTC Yield of 25.8% YTD 2025. As of 9/7/2025, we hodl 638,460 $BTC acquired for ~$47.17 billion at ~$73,880 per bitcoin. $MSTR $STRC $STRK $STRF $STRD
– Michael Saylor (@saylor) September 8, 2025
So what does this mean? It means Strategy is sitting atop a mountain of unrealized gains so vast it could probably cause a coin shortage in the Discworld markets. While the rest of the corporate world treats a bitcoin purchase like defusing a dragon’s explosive flatulence, Strategy treats it like adding sugar to tea. Historic highs? Pish posh-it’s just Tuesday on their ledger.
The announcement was dropped with all the subtlety of a troll in a glass shop, in a tweet listing cryptic incantations-$MSTR, $STRC, $STRK, $STRF, and $STRD-like some secret society’s password roll call for bitcoin hoarders.
Although the math behind that glowing 25.8% yield remains as mysterious as the location of the Library’s missing sock, Bitcoin itself has been roaring back in 2025, breaking through the $110,000 barrier with the enthusiasm of Nanny Ogg’s bedtime stories. Strategy’s high-wire BTC play appears to be paying off without so much as a hiccup.
Of course, Strategy isn’t the only brave soul wading into these bitcoin waters – Metaplanet recently tossed their hat in with an $11.7 million splash, and collectively, public companies now guard over a million BTC like dragons guarding hoards that might actually be worth something. But Strategy’s not just playing for volume-they’re playing for keeps, with a conviction that might make even the Librarian nod approvingly.
Meanwhile, Bitcoin ETFs allure traditional finance like exotic pastries at the Mended Drum, drawing in capital with record-breaking gusto. But while others “talk strategy,” Strategy buys bitcoin. And buys some more.
This relentless bitcoin hoarding isn’t just a gutsy treasury move – it’s rewriting what a corporate balance sheet looks like when the dollar feels like that dodgy magic spell you only half believe in. While Wall Street cautiously tiptoes through ETF hedges and endless compliance rituals, Strategy is already knee-deep in the trenches: profitable, unflappable, and miles ahead on the dusty road to financial legend.
The real question isn’t if others will hop on the bitcoin express-it’s whether they even dared buy a ticket, or if they’re still wondering which way the conductor went. 🚂💰
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2025-09-08 18:46