Crypto’s Wild Ride: Ethereum Surges After a $20B Snafu 🐎💰

Markets

What to know in 30 seconds or less:

  • Bitcoin clung to $115k like a terrier with a bone after a crypto liquidation event that made Schulz’s Great Dane look small.
  • Ethereum zooming toward $4,150 after a post-black Friday clearance sale for crypto assets (and traumatized traders).
  • Binance got roasted for a pricing flaw that turned their exchange into a depeg-themed rollercoaster. Gold, meanwhile, ate a lasagna and surged to all-time highs. France’s reaction: “Of course.”

Asia’s Market Breakfast: Coffee Spilled on Charts

Bitcoin stabilized at $115,157 after a weekend so wild it could’ve been the plot of a crypto slasher film. Ethereum, ever the optimist, bounced from $3,700 lows to $4,146 while Solana and Bittensor staged their own “it’s just a phase” comebacks. And if you thought this was a simple market correction, congratulations-you’re not paying attention. It was a cinematic “$20 billion,” not just one of those little, cozy NFT blowups.

Bitwise’s Jonathan Man explained it shamelessly: “The leverage flew like confetti at a crypto Burning Man, and when the confetti hit the ground… todo went sideways.” Except it was more sideways than forward, and less fun. Staking, the crypto world’s version of a crowd-sourced savings bond, slowed panic by locking up roughly 30% of ETH. Like holding your breath during a bank heist: wild but less panic-inducing.

Oct 11 Crypto Crash: TL;DR-Binance got had by a “pricing flaw,” collateral got priced like a ticket resale site, and $USDe briefly joined the 68-cent club. 💸 -@ElonTrades

Did Ethena Really Depeg? Spoiler: No, but Binance’s order-book drama made it look like a zombie apocalypse. Thanks, internet! 🧟‍♂️ -@Hosseeb

Dragonfly’s Haseeb Qureshi took aim at Binance, accusing them of “looking at their own reflection instead of an oracle.” It turns out, Binance’s order-book system was so in love with its own data it forgot to check the mirrors. The result? A localized USDe depeg to $0.65 only on Binance (Kellyanne Conway would be proud). Meanwhile, Curve and Bybit sipped champagne at $1/USDe. Of course.

The upshot? It wasn’t a stablecoin crisis-it was exchange-daylight robbery. Binance’s oracle-free pricing flaw caused a margin wipeout that read like a Las Vegas meltdown. And yet, Ethena’s USDe stayed fully collateralized the whole time. Huh. So the chaos was more “exchange OS crash” than “crypto’s end.” Good to know, right?

Yi He, Binance’s CCO, later said: “Yup, we sucked. Happened after the crash, mostly. We’ll pay you $280m in tears and/or compensation. Just don’t tweet us.” So, the takeaway: never trust an exchange to do anything for you except mint drama.

Market Highlights: Milk Runs and Rocket Fuel

  • BTC: $115k and suddenly not sad. Traders GC’ed their shorts like it’s 2023 and margins matter.
  • ETH: $4,150 and spiritually unbroken-trading like the Ethereum of a baby during a blockchain detox.
  • Gold: $4,059.87/oz after U.S.-China tensions upgraded to “full-on thriller.” Also, the Fed might cut rates. Investors: “Let’s just buy something sensible.” Says the guy who maxxed out in gold futures while dancing to “As It Was.”

Until next time, Asia. Trade safely, cry a little, and keep the BTC high. 🌏🚀

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2025-10-13 05:53