Mary Berry reveals secret to happy marriage with 93-year-old husband – leaving the house when an argument starts

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Mary Berry is a beloved national icon and a truly inspiring cook. But beyond that, she’s remarkably astute and business-minded – something we don’t often associate with someone who appears as a warm, grandmotherly figure. It’s surprising to learn she earned just £4.75 for one of her earliest television appearances, where she showed viewers how to use a freezer.

We met with Dame Mary near her home in Oxfordshire for a photoshoot and interview. She’s incredibly gracious and welcoming – it’s like she’s just as delighted to see you as she is when taking a perfectly roasted chicken out of the oven. At 91 years old (having recently turned 90 on March 24th), she brought along Freddie, one of her two energetic working cocker spaniels. Even after a long walk in the countryside, Freddie was clearly hoping for a little attention from her – and honestly, who wouldn’t be?

I first encountered Mary Berry 31 years ago when she was simply Mrs. Berry, and I took a cooking class at her house. Even after all these years, she still has a keen eye for detail, carefully choosing her outfits and praising her assistant’s clothing. She’s recently filmed a new six-part series, ‘Mary at 90: A Lifetime of Cooking,’ where she reflects on her television career and updates some of her classic recipes. The series features six well-known guests, including Jamie Oliver, Gabby Logan, and Tom Allen.

Old ITV clips from the 1970s show Mary as a modest, youthful woman with a classic, refined accent and wearing a floral blouse. However, beneath her gentle appearance and soft voice is a determined and ambitious spirit. She explains, “Life is competitive. It’s important to strive for excellence in everything you do, whether it’s work or sports.”

She’s like a living history book when it comes to food, remembering when ingredients like five spice, fennel, and fresh ginger first became popular. She even recalls the very moment tin foil arrived! She was working at *Home and Freezer Digest* when the editor excitedly showed off a new shipment from America. Everyone immediately wondered about the proper way to use it – shiny side up or down – and if it even made a difference.

She’s now written over 70 books, selling more than five million copies in total. Years ago, a visit from Delia Smith revealed she wasn’t earning enough from her writing. Smith, along with her husband Michael, chatted with the author and her husband, Paul Hunnings, and despite the usual advice against discussing finances, Smith pointed out the issue. She immediately offered to connect the author with her agent, Felicity Bryan, and the next day Bryan reached out to schedule a meeting. The author has been represented by Bryan’s agency ever since. [Felicity Bryan passed away in 2020.]

Watching old TV clips really makes me appreciate how easy things are for chefs today! I was listening to Mary Berry talk about her early days – she did a segment on ‘Good Afternoon’ back in the mid-70s, demonstrating how to use a freezer. Apparently, she’d just written a book for Marks & Spencer about freezing food properly. Her point was simple: if you put bad food *in* the freezer, you’re going to get bad food *out* – something we all know, but it wasn’t common knowledge back then!

I received no assistance preparing for the TV show. I had to bring absolutely everything – all the cookware, ingredients, and food, like vegetables, fish, and meat. They’d pick me up by taxi and I’d arrive at Thames Television to find the tables still covered with old newspapers. They’d quickly set up a kitchen, including a clock, but it was very basic. The drawers wouldn’t open, and there wasn’t a sink – water just drained into a bucket at my feet. If I washed something quickly while talking to Judith Chalmers, the bucket would overflow and we’d end up with water all over the floor.

Following her first appearance, Mary quickly became a frequent guest, joining Chalmers to demonstrate cooking techniques on television. Little did she know, her early work with the Electricity Board in Bath – teaching people how to bake perfect sponges using electric ovens – provided excellent preparation for her future career.

Watching old episodes, Mary couldn’t help but laugh at her voice – it was so squeaky! Her main goal, though, was simply to inspire others to cook and love it as much as she did. She offered recipes to viewers, but with a quirky catch: they had to send in a self-addressed, stamped envelope. “Young people today wouldn’t even know what that is!” she exclaims. And as for her on-screen image, there was no effort to create a specific ‘brand.’ “There was no makeup, no special wardrobe – I just wore my own clothes, and I’d often bring in daisies I’d picked from the garden.”

Mary Berry became a household name for a new generation when she first appeared on The Great British Bake Off in 2010. She got the job after an audition, but she admitted she needed help with bread. As she put it, “I’m really not very good at bread – it’s not my strong suit.” That’s how Paul Hollywood joined the show. She and Paul had very different approaches – Mary preferred to offer constructive solutions rather than dwell on mistakes. For example, if a bake fell, she’d advise a contestant to salvage it by scooping out a bit and turning it into a delicious pudding with fruit and cream.

After The Great British Bake Off moved to Channel 4 in 2017, Mary Berry chose to remain with the BBC. She explains, “I felt very valued by the BBC, and it felt right to stay.” This allowed her television career to continue, including shows like Classic Mary Berry and numerous Christmas specials.

When she’s not working, she enjoys activities like croquet, reading, dog walking, and cooking with her grandkids. She stays active without going to the gym, preferring to get her exercise walking her dogs. She also keeps up with what’s new, both in food – her latest show features many plant-based recipes – and technology. “It’s important to stay current,” she says, adding, “and yes, we’re on Instagram!”

She was deeply saddened that her parents weren’t alive to witness her receiving her Damehood at Windsor Castle in 2021. She believes she inherited many qualities from her father, whom she describes as an extraordinary man, and credits both her parents with instilling strong values in her. While she couldn’t share the news with them directly, she feels their presence and knows they would be proud. She jokingly notes that children often don’t fully appreciate their parents’ achievements.

Mary remained remarkably positive even after the heartbreaking loss of her 19-year-old son, William, who died in a car accident in 1989. Following this tragedy, she began teaching Aga courses from her home, and I remember being struck by how she seemed unchanged – just as warm and cheerful as she is now. It’s possible that teaching gave her a sense of purpose and helped her cope.

I think about William constantly. If he were to walk in right now, I’d definitely ask him where he’s been! I’m still incredibly proud of him and cherish the happiness he brought to our family. He was a wonderful child, but when I look at the bigger picture – my own great parents, my other children, Annabel and Tom, and my grandchildren – I realize how lucky I am. It would be heartbreaking to only have one child. I feel very fortunate, especially with a husband who’s 93 years old.

She believes the key to a happy marriage is knowing when to take a break. Her husband jokes that he simply agrees with everything she says and then does what he wants, but she explains they avoid arguments altogether. When she senses a disagreement starting, she quietly leaves the house – perhaps to pick flowers or gather apples – and finds that simply walking away can make all the difference.

Honestly, living upstairs wouldn’t be ideal, but we manage. We have a really good relationship, and I feel incredibly fortunate. He’s become much gentler as he’s gotten older, and he really shows his appreciation, which means a lot. So I take care of him, and I genuinely enjoy it – it’s what I committed to, you know? Through thick and thin, good times and bad. And we’re both very content as we get older, which is all you can really ask for.

Mary doesn’t seem like someone who argues often, if ever. She’s very likeable and gets along well with everyone on the new show, especially Jamie Oliver. As she explains, “We both didn’t finish school, and that’s something we have in common.”

When asked which guest benefited the most from cooking with her, she instantly replied, “Alan Titchmarsh.” They made spaghetti with salmon, and he admitted he’d never cooked it before, but was eager to learn. She was particularly pleased when, ten days after filming, he emailed her a photo of the finished dish – a beautifully set table with the pasta and a glass of wine. He wrote that he’d followed her instructions exactly and was very proud of the result.

It always warms my heart when I see him recognized for his work – he truly deserves it. But honestly, the best part of all is hearing from viewers. People will stop me while I’m just doing my grocery shopping and tell me they were inspired to try cooking something new because of the show. That’s the magic of television, isn’t it? It’s like a massive cooking lesson for millions of people! If I can do my job well, it means people are actually creating things in their own kitchens. That’s always been my goal, right from the start, and it still is today.

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2025-10-14 02:36