Banks Unleash Crypto Chaos in DeFi: Bet Your Euros! 💸

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Ah, mes amis, picture this farce: Societe Generale-FORGE (SG-FORGE) and the merry tricksters at Bitpanda, that European crypto jester’s platform, hath concocted a grand alliance! They doff their hats and plunge headfirst into Decentralized Finance (DeFi), bearing regulated stablecoins as if they were shields against the dragons of volatility. 😏

On this fateful day, October 14, 2025, they proclaim with much pomp-why, only the finest actors could deliver such lines-that Bitpanda’s humble retail clients shall wield SG-FORGE’s EUR CoinVertible (EURCV) and USD CoinVertible (USDCV) stablecoins in on-chain lending and borrowing protocols. As if borrowing from a bank weren’t tedious enough now they borrow from machines! 😂

Behold, dear souls, how the common folk may now earn yield on these fully regulated, bank-issued digital baubles-first time in Europe, they claim! According to their decree, inscribed in the holy scrolls of the announcement, these stablecoins shall nestle snugly into the Bitpanda DeFi Wallet, granting passage to such illustrious protocols as Morpho and Uniswap. Pray, what next? Shall we dance the minuet with our coins? 💃

This jest is but a continuation of their nefarious distribution scheme, hot on the heels of listing SG-FORGE’s USDCV on other exchanges. One wonders if the banks plot to turn our purses into digital dungeons! 🏰

Expanding Access to Regulated DeFi

The plot thickens: this initiative, they insist, shall foster trust and accessibility in DeFi for the lowly retailer, by tethering these beasts to the European Union’s Markets in Crypto-Assets (MiCA) framework. How quaint! SG-FORGE now postures to duel with other European financiers, like the ING-led cabal brewing their own MiCA-pious stablecoin. Ah, the hypocrisy! We pretend to regulate the wild winds of crypto, when ’tis but a storm we bankers unleash for our gain. 🤡

Bitpanda’s Co-CEO, Lukas Enzersdorfer-Konrad, pontificates on the marvel for European Web3, vowing real-world benefits and an interoperable, regulated utopia. One might snort at such idealism-utopia, with bankers involved? Mon Dieu! 🤭

Jean-Marc Stenger, the CEO of SG-FORGE, echoes this folly, deeming DeFi entry a strategic masterstroke. Strategic? Like a fox in the henhouse of decentralization! 🦊

This unholy union doth also pave the way for integrations with Bitpanda’s Vision (VSN) token and their forthcoming Layer-2 network, the Vision Chain. Their noble aim? A compliant framework where tokenized assets glide ‘twixt on-chain realms, as smoothly as a hypocrite through high society. Smoothly, indeed! 🚀

Building the foundation for Europe’s onchain economy

The partnership between Bitpanda and Societe Generale-FORGE is expanding into decentralised finance.

This collaboration also sets the stage for deeper integration with the Vision Chain – Bitpanda’s upcoming Layer2 designed to…

– Vision (@vsntoken) October 14, 2025

This proclamation mirrors the larger comedy of traditional institutions invading the digital realm. In yon United States, Morgan Stanley’s E*Trade doth prepare to launch crypto trading for its retail throng-ah, the irony! We bankers, who once shunned these pagan coins, now hawk them like snake oil salesmen. 🐍

This DeFi dalliance builds upon a prior pact from Sept. 25, 2024, when EURCV debuted on Bitpanda’s brokerage stage. By entwining further, these rogues employ regulation to lure more sheep into the on-chain fold. Sheep to the slaughter, or sheep to mint wealth? Only time-and volatility-shall tell! 🐑

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2025-10-14 23:17