Circle, that most peculiar of financial alchemists, delivered a third quarter so opulent it would make Dostoevsky weep into his vodka. USDC circulation, that digital dollar specter, now haunts $73 billion, while net income leapt 200% year-over-year. The company, ever the enigma, unveiled its Arc testnet-a blockchain so ambitious it might yet consume the moon-and hinted at a native token, as if the world needed another cryptocurrency to obsess over.
Surge in Q3 Earnings for Circle Amid Launch of Arc Testnet
Circle Internet Group (NYSE: CRCL), that modern-day Raskolnikov of fintech, posted results for Q3 2025 that would make a monk faint. Behold, dear reader, as USDC circulation-that sly serpent-soared 108% to $73.7 billion, a number so staggering it could only exist in a fever dream.
Total and reserve revenue hit $740 million, a 66% rise, while net income-$214 million-climbed 202%. Adjusted EBITDA, that most inscrutable of metrics, rose 78% to $166 million. All thanks to USDC balances swelling like a gaslight-era balloon and partnerships blooming like daisies in a minefield.
Reserve income, that old warhorse, trotted in at $711 million, while other revenue-$29 million-surged like a caffeinated squirrel. Operating expenses, of course, grew too, as if the cost of human labor could ever truly be quantified. Yet profits danced upward, a grotesque waltz of capitalism.
“Circle,” said Jeremy Allaire, Co-Founder and CEO, “continued to see accelerating adoption of USDC and our platform.” A humble man, Mr. Allaire, though one might question if “accelerating adoption” is merely code for “we’re printing money and calling it progress.”
On the infrastructure front, Circle launched Arc testnet-a Layer-1 blockchain “for programmable finance,” as if finance weren’t already sufficiently programmable. And what of the native token? A token, they whisper, to “align the ecosystem.” One suspects it will be mined by peasants and traded by oligarchs.
The Circle Payments Network (CPN), that grand experiment in institutional chaos, now boasts 29 enrolled institutions, 55 under review, and 500 in the pipeline. Transaction volume? A paltry $3.4 billion annualized. Nothing to see here, just the collapse of global banking systems.
Looking ahead, Circle raised its 2025 “other revenue” forecast to $90-$100 million. A bold move, given that “other revenue” sounds like a polite way to say “we’re not sure how we’ll make money yet.” Meanwhile, USYC’s money market fund has surpassed $1 billion in AUM. A triumph, surely, or perhaps a prelude to disaster.
FAQ 🌐
- How did Circle perform in Q3 2025?
Net income surged 202% to $214 million. A miracle of greed, or a tragedy of foresight? Choose your poison. - What fueled USDC’s strong growth?Adoption across banking, fintech, and capital markets. Or, as some say, the slow death of privacy.
- What is the Arc testnet?A Layer-1 blockchain for “programmable finance.” A noble ambition, or a pyramid scheme with better marketing?
- Is Circle planning a new token?Yes. Because what world would be complete without 10,000 tokens?
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2025-11-14 11:00