PricPR

Some clever folks think DOGE will pop to $0.26 by the end of August, a tiny bump in the meme coin ocean, supported by whales splashing around and a greed meter glowing like a kid in a candy store. Others, perhaps slightly more imaginative, see it soaring to $1.09 if history’s wild breakout pattern strikes again—like déjà vu but with more popcorn. The all-time dream? Dude, maybe even a $4 before it dips back down to earth, but that’s just daydreaming on steroids.

Now, ETH hit a high of $3,915—just shy of a record, but don’t fuss, it’s still outpacing Bitcoin’s feeble 10% bump. Seems folks are betting that Ethereum’s got the wind in its sails, pulling ahead in this race for digital gold. Looks like the market’s sending a clear message: Ethereum’s fixing to wear the crown, and Bitcoin’s just a dusty old horse in the back lot.

Years later, on the sort of radio show where experts profess to speak of the future while secretly hoping no one asks them to define what “trust” actually means, Buterin described his creation as “dynamic and growing… an evolving creature.” Much like a teenager, it’s constantly changing, sometimes awkwardly, sometimes brilliantly. Today, Ethereum still wears that perpetual teenage glow, awkward in its ambitions but undeniably alive.

According to The Information, a source as reliable as the morning post, this raise precedes Kraken’s anticipated IPO, scheduled to grace the financial world in the early months of 2026. The exchange, ever the ambitious suitor, has been scaling its operations with a vigor that would make even the most ardent of suitors blush. Notably, it acquired the futures platform NinjaTrader in a deal worth a staggering $1.5 billion, a sum that would surely turn the heads of even the most discerning of investors. Furthermore, the appointment of Mr. Arjun Sethi as co-CEO during a leadership overhaul last autumn has only added to the air of anticipation surrounding this financial titan. In a gesture of transparency that would do credit to any gentleman of the highest moral standing, Kraken has begun to publish its financials, revealing a revenue of $1.5 billion in 2024 and a robust $472 million in the first quarter of 2025. 📊💰

In a *thrilling* CNBC interview, Cabana declared, “The Fed’s keeping rates frozen, and Powell’s giving zero clues—just ‘data-dependent’ fluff (yawn).” Meanwhile, bond traders are betting on a September rate cut like it’s the last slice of cake at a Bridget Jones-style office party. Spoiler: They’ll be disappointed. Much like finding out Daniel Cleaver’s *still* single. 😅