Why Candace Cameron Bure Says Marriage Is a “Constant Reevaluation”

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Candace Cameron Bure shared that it’s easy to get lost in a full house.

Family relationships change over time, and Candace Cameron Bure, known for her role in Full House, stresses the importance of regularly checking in on her 29-year marriage with Valeri Bure. They constantly discuss what’s working well and what needs improvement, which she believes is key to their success.

Candace explained on the November 17th episode of the Stay True podcast that it’s important to regularly assess what’s working well and what isn’t. She noted that schedules are always shifting, and you need to constantly adjust to find what routines work best, knowing those routines will likely change again over time.

So, the way she sees it, you just have to embrace the change and adapt with it.

She told host Madison Prewett that couples need to be flexible – not just with their schedules, but with each other. “That’s the first thing that will be challenged,” she said, explaining that marriage will be tested when life gets difficult.

As a mom of three – Natasha, Lev, and Maksim, who are 27, 25, and 23 respectively – I’ve definitely learned a thing or two about balancing family life and a lasting marriage. It’s a juggling act, but so rewarding!

It’s funny how kids completely take over your life when they’re young, and then as they get older, they start playing you and your spouse against each other – and you don’t even notice it happening!

What advice does she have for young couples, such as her daughter Natasha and her husband Bradley Steven Perry, who might go through something similar in the future?

She said it’s important to make dedicated time for each other as a couple. ‘You really need to make the relationship a priority,’ she explained.

The 49-year-old woman discovered over time that supporting each other is key to a successful marriage. She recently revealed that her relationship with Valeri was struggling in 2020, but they were able to overcome the difficulties with help from their son, Lev.

She remembered that Lev approached them and said he wanted to talk. He then spent about 45 minutes giving them a lecture on marriage, reading from the Bible as he spoke, as if giving a sermon right there on the couch.

She recalled him saying he understood it might seem strange to take marriage advice from someone so young and unmarried. However, he emphasized that he didn’t need to be married to understand what the Bible teaches about marriage.

Everywhere you look, there’s more long-lasting couples in Hollywood. Read on for their secrets. 

In their 2020 book, What Makes a Marriage Last, Hermann revealed he never expected to share so much laughter with his wife of over 20 years, Marlo Thomas. He believes this shared joy is central to who they are as a couple. “I think what keeps us together is knowing you love me for who I am, flaws and all—that’s true grace,” he explained.

He also shared their secret to recovering from disagreements. Even after a heated argument, one of them will try to lighten the mood with a joke referencing what they were fighting about. “It’s about finding a way back to connection,” Hermann said of life with the Law & Order: SVU star. “Like saying, ‘I’m not admitting I was wrong, but can we start to find common ground again?’ If that happens, you know things are getting better.”

The couple has managed to avoid major changes in their relationship by consistently following the advice they received before getting married in 2003. Even with five children, they prioritize weekly date nights and have intentionally chosen not to buy a television, opting instead for other ways to stay connected.

Chip says his biggest piece of advice is to passionately pursue the person you love. After twenty years, he still feels like he’s trying to impress his wife on a second date. He jokes that while he can’t guarantee she’ll never be unfaithful, it certainly won’t be because he stopped showing her affection or forgot important dates.

Oh my gosh, Kevin Bacon is amazing, and he and Kyra Sedgwick are just…relationship goals! He actually jokes that the best advice is to ignore advice from celebrities, which, honestly, is so self-aware and cute considering they’ve been together for 36 years! They have this perfect little saying – ‘Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty’ – and apparently, they created it specifically to shut down any nosy questions about their marriage. But seriously, Kyra explained it all to Thomas and Donahue, and it’s so sweet. They hate fighting, so when they do, they’re immediately trying to fix things, not win some stupid argument. She said it just sucks to fight, and honestly, same! They’ve made it clear there’s absolutely no backup plan. No matter what happens, they’re committed to making it work. It’s just…everything about them is perfect, and I’m totally obsessed!

After over 37 years of marriage, the actors have learned how to argue respectfully. As the Family Ties star explained, they avoid bringing up past hurts. “Some couples target their partner’s weaknesses,” he said, “but we don’t do that.” They do have disagreements, of course. He admits he often wants to immediately take back hurtful things he says, but knows that doesn’t solve anything. Instead, he lets his wife guide the way and give him space. She, in turn, tries to be understanding, reminding herself, ‘He said something silly that upset me, but he’s a good person and probably didn’t realize it would hurt my feelings.’

Speaking on Today in December 2024, ahead of their 40th anniversary, Curtis shared that her husband still makes her laugh more than anyone else. She playfully added that he must find something to like about her too, even if she’s not sure what it is.

As a longtime fan, I’ve always admired Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka’s relationship, and I think I finally understand what makes it work. Neil recently shared something really insightful: they both seem to accept that relationships aren’t something you can neatly define. After over two decades together – navigating his career change into cooking with his cookbook, raising twins Gideon and Harper, and facing life’s challenges – he explained that marriage is always changing. He was so honest about how things evolve, even physically. He talked about how familiarity can fade, and you have to actively rediscover your attraction to someone – but it’s a different kind of attraction as you both grow and change. Eventually, he said, you start to fall in love with who they are, their soul, and then, surprisingly, their body again. It’s like the love keeps transforming, and they’re constantly falling in love with each other in new ways. It’s a beautiful, honest take on making a relationship last.

The comedic duo genuinely believe their shared laughter extends their lives, not just over their nineteen years together. As the actress from Can You Ever Forgive Me? explained, they playfully calculate how much life each particularly hilarious moment adds. “Whenever we have a really big laugh—the kind that leaves you breathless—we estimate how many months it’s added to our lifespan. I’m always keeping a running total!” she said.

They also limit how long disagreements last. Following the advice to never go to bed angry, Falcone shared that she tried letting an argument linger overnight once, but realized she’d forgotten what she was even upset about. She believes it’s pointless to dissect a problem when everyone is tired or has had something to drink. She’s never experienced a late-night argument ending with a satisfying resolution and a truce.

Both had been married previously when they met in 1995, and quickly found themselves blending families, each with two children. The actor, known for Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist, remembers realizing early on that the children already had mothers. “I figured they didn’t need another one,” she explained. “Instead, I decided to be their cheerleader—everyone can use more of those! I didn’t try to set rules, discipline them, or tell them what was right or wrong. They already had parents for that.” Her husband, famous for Cheers, completely agreed. “Offering friendship is a really smart approach,” he said. “Letting them know you won’t discipline or judge, but that you’ll simply be there for them—that’s what matters. You have to genuinely be present in their lives.”

When same-sex civil unions became legal in Britain, musician Elton John and his husband, David Furnish, had a ceremony on December 21, 2005. They then officially married on the same date nine years later. However, they celebrate a different date – the unexpected way they met at a dinner party in 1993 at John’s home in Windsor, England, where a friend had arranged for them to be guests.

Every Saturday, no matter where they are, they write each other a handwritten note. Over the years, they’ve written approximately 1,352 letters. Furnish explains that handwriting feels personal and meaningful, and the cards give them a chance to reflect on the past week and discuss the week ahead. John agrees, saying that consistent communication is key to a long-lasting relationship and is a big part of their success together.

They quietly built their 40-year marriage, almost as if by fate (“I had dreams about meeting him six months before it happened”), and have consistently made it a central part of their lives, even as everything else has changed.

“Marriage is our top priority,” she explained. “We actively work at it and reconnect when we lose focus.” If she could offer one piece of advice, it would be to always prioritize that connection. He added, passionately, “I would do absolutely anything for her – face any challenge, endure any hardship. I might mess up and even make her angry, but nothing would ever stop me from showing her my love.”

He emphasized that if you believe marriage is essential to your happiness, you must protect it at all costs.

ABC News reporter Roberts admits she doesn’t enjoy casual phone calls. “I don’t like just checking in,” she said. “If you’re calling just to ask ‘What’s up?’, I really don’t like that.” But a close friend, who loves talking on the phone, helped her change her perspective.

One friend pointed out, “Maybe he just feels comfortable hearing your voice, and it makes him feel like everything is okay.” Roberts realized this was a sweet thought she hadn’t considered before. “If it makes him happy, then it should matter to me,” she explained.

Now, she takes a moment to respond kindly, saying something like, “I’m busy, but what’s new with you? I’m glad you called. I have to go now, talk to you later, love you.” This small change has made a huge difference to her friend, and she’s happy to be nice for a couple of minutes. They celebrated their 29th anniversary in September 2024.

Their almost 30-year marriage started building its foundation early on. They remember even small arguments—like when the actor once threw the talk show host’s ring out the window—feeling like they could end everything. As the star of LIVE With Kelly and Ryan explained, “In the beginning of a marriage, it’s easy for little disagreements to become huge problems—whether it’s about money, work, or raising kids when you’re exhausted.” But her husband, Mark, showed her the value of stepping away and calming down. She realized those moments weren’t dealbreakers. Now, as parents of three, they’re seeing the rewards of that lesson. He believes that truly happy couples have faced difficult times together and overcome them, and that’s something to celebrate.

She describes herself as an introvert, almost a loner, while he’s incredibly outgoing – he jokingly calls himself “the mayor of everywhere.” She’s a bit messy, and he’s a perfectionist, as she put it. But after being married since 2003, they’ve learned to accept each other’s differences.

That’s the advice the lead actress from How to Get Away With Murder gives to friends who are getting married. She explains that marriage doesn’t begin at the wedding ceremony. It starts when you realize something about the person you love will likely annoy you, and you wonder if you can handle it. But then, despite that, you realize you love them anyway – that’s the real beginning of marriage.

Maintaining a long-term relationship, like any that last 50 years, requires quickly resolving conflicts. Jane Fonda, star of Grace and Frankie, explained that she usually takes the lead in apologizing after an argument. She finds it easy because her love for her partner is strong and she doesn’t want them to feel alone, even for a short time.

Ideally, she avoids needing to apologize at all. She’s learned that saying something hurtful in the heat of the moment will ultimately cause you more anger later, as you’ll regret hurting the person you love. It’s a double dose of anger, which isn’t good for your health or the relationship.

It’s fitting that Jerry, a former judge, says his long marriage to the iconic Judge Judy works because he generally lets her have the final say. For her, the key is accepting that you won’t always get your way. Their marriage initially ended in 1990 when he couldn’t provide the support she needed after her father passed away. However, they remarried quickly a year later, and she understood he wouldn’t suddenly become a homemaker or take charge of planning events.

She explained simply that unhappiness in relationships often comes from trying to change someone. “You can try, but they’ll always resent it,” she said. “Don’t marry anyone expecting to change who they are.”

The actor from Lost credits his wife with being the rock of their family. He told TopMob News in April 2025 that her patience and support—especially while he travels for work—have been invaluable. He described her as ‘fantastic’ for keeping everything stable.

The actor described his wife as incredibly patient and said she and their two sons help him stay grounded, no matter what challenges he faces.

“They shape my values,” he added. “It’s great to have that perspective and North Star.”

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2025-11-20 22:48