Dogecoin ETF Flops? First-Day Madness Delivers Less Than a Snack

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Ladies and gentlemen, gather ’round for the grand spectacle of Grayscale’s latest masterpiece: the much-anticipated (or perhaps surprisingly underwhelming) GDOG ETF. Rumors of roaring profits and fireworks were replaced by a gentle whisper-merely $1.41 million traded on day one, a far cry from the predicted $12 million. Yes, the crowd expected a financial carnival, but what they got was more like a quiet Sunday stroll – or a cricket’s chirp at best! 🦗💸

The debut was so soft, it had me checking if we accidentally launched a “Dogecoin for Dummies” set instead of the blockbuster ETF. With only $1.71 million in net assets and 94,700 shares quietly snoozing, it’s clear everyone kept their wallet in their pocket – probably waiting for a sign, or maybe just a decent meme to catch fire.

The First U.S. Spot DOGE ETF: A Gentle Introduction

On Nov. 24, the NYSE saw the birth of history-or at least a modest milestone-the very first spot DOGE ETF in America. Converted from Grayscale’s private Dogecoin Trust, this asset disguised as a “groundbreaking” fund, is actually just holding “physical” DOGE, all while masquerading as a sophisticated investment vehicle. Think of it as a dog dressed in a tuxedo-charming, but still just a dog. 🐶🎩

With Coinbase Custody keeping the treasure safe and BNY handling the paperwork, the ETF has the feel of a high-class dog show-minus the hype. It launched with 11.1 million DOGE, or roughly the contents of a poorly upgraded digital piggy bank, trading at a modest 117.58 DOGE/share.

Oh, and did I mention the free ride? Grayscale’s generous offer of 0% fees for three months or until assets hit a billion is an open invitation to sit tight and wait for the tidal wave-if it ever arrives. After which, a modest 0.35% fee will be levied, because why not add a sprinkle of financial seasoning?

Market’s Yawn: The Great Debut of 2023

Bloomberg’s Eve Balchunas predicted a roaring $10-12 million day one volume. Instead, we got a whisper of $1.41 million. It’s like expecting a fireworks show and getting a sparkler-still fun, just not what the crowd had in mind. Some market guru-types call it “cautious”-a fancy word for ‘no one really understood it yet.’

Meanwhile, Dogecoin itself had a teeny, tiny rally. From $0.152, it nudged upward about 3-5%, like a kid on a bicycle taking a careful spin after being told to “try again tomorrow.” Spot volumes hit $1.93 billion in 24 hours-impressive, sure, but mostly from traders watching the ETF’s slow-motion debut.

Looking at what’s next, Grayscale’s eyeing Chainlink (LINK), because why not keep piling on new toys? In their dreams, this is just the beginning-a bridge for tokenized real-world assets and cross-chain adventures. Or perhaps, just another reason to check your coffee before reading the morning financial news. ☕️🔗

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2025-11-25 07:27