🤑 Trump’s Bitcoin Baby Crashes 50% – But Hey, They’ve Got 5,098 BTC! 🚀💸

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The Irony of Capitalism’s Circus

  • Behold, the American Bitcoin Corp., a child of the Trump dynasty, now hoards over 5,098 BTC, clawing its way into the top 20 corporate Bitcoin hoarders. 🏆✨
  • With their shiny new metrics-Satoshis Per Share (SPS) and Bitcoin Yield-they promise to dazzle investors with the illusion of clarity. 📊🤡
  • Yet, their stock, ABTC, plummeted over 50% in early December, now trading at a measly $1.59. The market, it seems, has a sense of humor. 📉😂

In the heart of Miami, where the sun gleams as brightly as the Trumps’ ambitions, American Bitcoin Corp. (Nasdaq: ABTC) stands as a monument to the absurdity of modern finance. Backed by the dynamic duo of Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump, this Bitcoin mining and accumulation venture has amassed a treasure trove of 5,098 BTC as of December 17, 2025. A mix of in-house mining and strategic market purchases, they say-though some of it is shackled as collateral to Bitmain, the hardware overlord. 🛠️🔗

“American Bitcoin has increased its total Bitcoin reserve to over 5,098 BTC and achieved a BTC Yield of 96.5% since its Nasdaq debut. Strategic accumulation continues.” – American Bitcoin (@ABTC) December 16, 2025. 📢💼

This feat, achieved mere months after their Nasdaq listing, propels them into the ranks of the top 20 publicly traded Bitcoin treasury companies. A triumph, no doubt, in the eyes of the Trumps-though one wonders if the market shares their enthusiasm. 🤔🎭

A December of Desperation and Dollars

In a flurry of activity, American Bitcoin added 416 BTC in a single week, swelling their holdings to 4,783 BTC by December 8. Not content, they snatched another 261 BTC on December 15, bringing their total to 5,044 BTC. With their latest acquisition, they now sit on a pile of 5,098 BTC, valued at nearly $445 million. A hoard fit for a king-or at least a Trump. 👑💰

Their strategy, they claim, is one of patience and perseverance, holding Bitcoin for the long term while ignoring the whims of the market. A noble goal, perhaps, but one that seems at odds with their stock’s nosedive. 🕊️🌀

Metrics of Mirage

In their quest to dazzle investors, American Bitcoin unveiled their proprietary Satoshis Per Share (SPS) metric, a glittering promise of transparency. As of December 8, SPS soared to 507 satoshis per share, a 17% jump in just over a month. Alongside it, the Bitcoin Yield metric tracks the percentage change in SPS, offering a glimpse into the company’s Bitcoin exposure. Yet, one must wonder: are these metrics mere mirages in the desert of financial uncertainty? 🏜️🤹‍♂️

“I am incredibly proud of our tremendous growth,” declared Eric Trump, co-founder and chief strategy officer, in the official release. “In just over three months, we’ve surged past dozens of companies, catapulting us into the top 20.” A victory lap, indeed, though the stock’s plunge casts a long shadow over their triumph. 🎉📉

Despite their growing Bitcoin holdings, ABTC’s stock has been on a wild ride, dropping over 50% early this month and triggering a trading halt. Currently, shares languish at $1.59, a staggering 67% fall from their monthly high of $5. The market, it seems, has spoken-and it’s not in the Trumps’ favor. 📉💔

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2025-12-16 23:56