Tariff Wars Turn Cryptos into the Wild Wild West! 🤠💸

Oh Lord, where to even begin? In the past 24 hours, we’ve seen a staggering $2.24 billion just *poof* disappear from the cryptocurrency markets! Why? Because Uncle Sam decided to play Tarzan with his trading tariffs, swinging through the geopolitical jungle. And who’s leading this liquidation spectacle? Why, it’s none other than our beloved Ether (ETH) with a staggering $609.9 million in losses! 🎩🙈

Now, we find out that over 730,000 traders decided to join in on this tragic comedy of errors! And let’s not forget about the biggest single liquidation, which was like finding a unicorn on the Binance exchange—it was worth a jaw-dropping $25.6 million for an ETH/BTC trading pair. Just think of all the avocado toasts people could have enjoyed with that money…

It’s Liquidation Central! 🎉

During this financial catastrophe, Binance stepped up to the plate like a champ, accounting for a whopping 36.8% of all liquidations. It’s like they brought a party hat to a funeral—cheerful yet absurd! Other notable players in this chaotic carnival included OKX, Bybit, Gate.IO, and HTX. All in this together, folks! 🎈🙃

Meanwhile, our poor long traders lost $1.88 billion—84% of the total liquidations—as they kept dreaming of a mystical bull run that never showed up to the party. Enough to make a grown crypto investor cry into their finely crafted latte! ☕💔

On another note, January was *actually* a good month for US spot Bitcoin ETFs, which managed to reel in nearly $5 billion. Who knew that drama and crypto might just make for a lucrative relationship? Perhaps a potential $50 billion inflow by the end of 2025? Fingers crossed! ✨💰

Global Politics? Just Ruining Everything! 🌍😩

Now, don’t get too comfortable, because after President Trump decided to slap tariffs on imports from China, Canada, and Mexico, the market reacted like a puppy being told no—ETH and Cardano (ADA) fell into double digits within an hour! Talk about ‘hard landing’ meets ‘crypto turbulence.’ 🚀💥

According to the eternal optimist Joe Consorti, head of growth and analysis at Theya, this $2.24 billion plunge was even larger than liquidations during the COVID pandemic and the infamous FTX collapse. Way to steal the spotlight, politics! 🎭

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2025-02-03 11:36