There’s a certain poetic irony in rebranding oneself as “Strategy” while enthusiastically reporting a net loss the size of a small space station — $670.8 million, to be specific. But that’s exactly what erstwhile MicroStrategy has achieved, all while stacking an eye-watering 218,887 additional Bitcoin. If “bold moves” were an Olympic sport, Strategy might just medal. 🥇
On February 5th, the freshly-minted Bitcoin stacking aficionado reported a revenue of $120.7 million for Q4. Sure, that was only 3% less than last year and about $2 million below analyst guesses. But who needs analyst approval when you’ve got 471,107 BTC and a burning desire to hoard more? 🪙
Speaking of burning, their expenses for Q4 managed to skyrocket by 700% to a sturdy $1.1 billion as part of their “21/21 Plan.” The goal? Acquire $42 billion in capital over three years to, you guessed it, buy even more Bitcoin. Because when life gives you lemons, you buy intangible cryptocurrencies instead of making lemonade. 🍋❌
Remarkably, $20 billion has already been accounted for, mostly through some light issuance of senior convertible notes and other debt-like dreams. CEO Phong Le beamed, “We’re already way ahead of schedule and ready to keep dazzling investors with our well-polished strategic magic wand.” Translation: more Bitcoin, fewer conventional sanity breaks. 🧙♂️
The stats get even more dazzling. Strategy now officially holds the most Bitcoin of any company in the solar system, valued at a modest $45 billion. BTC Yield hit 74.3% in 2024, but they’ve wisely trimmed expectations to 15% for 2025. Why aim for the stars when you can quietly orbit the moon? 🌝🚀
In an effort to make their ledger look more like an RPG stat sheet, Strategy also rolled out fun new metrics like “BTC Gain” and “BTC $ Gain.” These numbers basically tell you how many Bitcoin they’re cramming into the corporate vault and how much those shiny coins are worth in fiat. Someone missed their true calling in accounting-based Dungeons & Dragons. 🐉📜
Let’s not forget the pièce de résistance: the dramatic expunging of “Micro” from their name. Founded in 1989 as a business intelligence firm, the once-MicroStrategy has bid its analytics-centered branding adieu. To really hammer home its fixation, the company added a “₿” next to its new name, because the subtlety ship sailed long ago. ⛴️
Finally, the stock market responded with the enthusiasm one might expect. Strategy (MSTR) fell 3.3% during the day’s trading to $336.70 and continued its gravity experiment with another 0.72% dip in after-hours trading. Bold strategy indeed. 🎢📉
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2025-02-06 02:47