Ah, Tether, the titan of stablecoins, the Colossus of crypto! Once confined to the mundane realm of digital dollars, it now seeks to ensnare our very thoughts with an army of artificial intelligences! The grand, ambitious, and utterly perplexing vision of CEO Paolo Ardoino (a man who could easily be mistaken for a Russian novelist, but who, alas, is merely the conductor of this digital orchestra) unfolds before us, a panorama of “AI Translate,” “AI Voice Assistant,” and the oh-so-intriguing “AI Bitcoin Wallet Assistant.”
Tether Data, preview of some of the AI apps we’re developing: AI translate, AI voice assistant, AI bitcoin wallet assistant.
Tether will launch soon its own AI SDK platform, open-source, built upon Bare (Holepunch’s javascript runtime), working on every hardware, from embedded…
— Paolo Ardoino 🤖🍐 (@paoloardoino) February 4, 2025
Imagine, comrades! These AI entities will be embedded in every device, from the most humble of calculators to the most powerful of supercomputers. They will whisper sweet nothings into your ear, translate your thoughts into the tongues of angels, and even manage your Bitcoin wallet with the precision of a seasoned Wall Street tycoon. But wait! There’s more! This digital utopia comes with the glorious promise of “full privacy” and “self-custodial” data and money. A truly liberating proposition, wouldn’t you say? After all, what could possibly go wrong?
In a rather peculiar demo of the “AI Bitcoin Wallet Assistant,” a user (perhaps a hapless soul trapped in the cruel machinations of the cryptoverse) asked the “Payment Agent” for their BTC wallet address. The “agent” dutifully responded, like a docile automaton, and the user then, for reasons that remain shrouded in mystery, queried about their BTC balance. Such an intricate and nuanced conversation, one could only marvel at the sophistication of this AI. The user then, with the audacity of a man who knows no fear, inquired about the recipients in their address book before requesting the agent to send a small amount of BTC to one of them.
One can only imagine the sheer terror of this “Payment Agent” as it obediently executed the user’s commands, a digital slave to the whims of its human master. The entire process, we are assured, was conducted autonomously, a testament to the burgeoning power of AI. The demo of “AI Translate” was a bit underwhelming, a simple chatbot that could, with limited success, transform words from one language into another. “AI Voice Assistant” was slightly more impressive, responding to voice inputs rather than text. A truly ground-breaking technology, one might even say revolutionary, if it were not so terribly predictable.
Of course, Tether’s aspirations are nothing new. Back in 2023, the firm made a rather shrewd move by acquiring a stake in the European crypto miner Northern Data Group. This, it was declared, was a strategic play, an attempt to delve deeper into the murky depths of AI and cloud computing. In March of the same year, Tether, like a hungry wolf in a field of sheep, launched a global recruitment drive for AI talent. They declared their intention to “push the boundaries of AI technology” and set “new industry standards for innovation and utility.” Words that would have made even the most jaded investor blush with excitement.
In December, Ardoino, the grand maestro of this digital symphony, announced that he had “just gotten the draft of the site for Tether’s AI platform.” A rather curious announcement, one might say, as if the entire project was just an afterthought, a mere scribble on a napkin in the corner of a dimly lit bar. But fear not, comrades! They are aiming for a launch at the end of Q1, 2025. A rather ambitious goal
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2025-02-06 06:47