Bitcoin Plunge?! 😱 Trump's Tariffs to Blame?

Right, so Bitcoin, this whole “digital gold” thing, apparently had a bit of a wobble the other day. Briefly plummeted, they say, below $95,000. Why? Well, rumor has it, China threatened to slap tariffs on energy imports from the US. Crude oil, liquefied natural gas… the usual suspects. It’s like watching a geopolitical tennis match, only the ball is everyone’s retirement savings. 🎾

Anyway, Bitcoin, bless its cotton socks, did a little bounce back and managed to cling onto the $97,000 level. All thanks to, wait for it, President Trump, who retaliated with a hefty 25% tariff on steel and aluminum imports. Because nothing says “stable financial system” like a good old-fashioned trade war, right? 🤷‍♂️

Now, here’s the kicker. Despite all this drama, the big boys – you know, the institutions with the really deep pockets – haven’t exactly been throwing money at Bitcoin. Apparently, they’re not as easily swayed by the internet’s collective enthusiasm. Or maybe they just know something we don’t. Probably the latter. 🤔

There’s this thing called the “25% delta skew” for Bitcoin options. Sounds complicated, doesn’t it? Basically, it’s a fancy way of gauging market sentiment. If everyone’s feeling bullish, this number goes below -5%. Right now? It’s at 2%. Neutral. Boring. Like watching paint dry. 😴 And apparently, demand for leveraged long positions in Bitcoin futures is about as exciting as a lukewarm cup of tea. 🍵

And get this – the annualized premium on Bitcoin futures is way down from where it was a week ago. Under the 10% “bullish threshold.” Which, I assume, is bad. Or maybe it’s good. Honestly, who can keep up? 🤪

Apparently, a company called Strategy (formerly MicroStrategy) is still buying up Bitcoin like it’s going out of style, but even *they* can’t single-handedly prop up the entire market. Bless ’em.

So, what’s the takeaway? Well, institutional demand for Bitcoin is… lukewarm, shall we say? But apparently, the real problem isn’t Bitcoin itself. It’s the whole messy macroeconomic situation. You know, the usual doom and gloom. 🌍

US Treasury yields are down, which is apparently a sign that everyone’s running for cover and buying “safer assets.” Which, if you think about it, is slightly ironic, considering we’re talking about *bonds* and not, say, gold bars buried in the backyard. 💰

Trump’s trade policy is causing jitters, because who needs predictability in the global economy, right? And everyone’s worried that higher tariffs will slow things down, which will probably mean fewer avocado toasts for everyone. 🥑

To top it all off, Moody’s is threatening to downgrade the World Bank! Because everything has to be awful, always. 😠

Even McDonald’s is having a bad quarter! A *decline* in US sales? The end is nigh! We are all doomed! The US Dollar Index, whatever that is, is going up, which is probably bad for someone somewhere. 💸

So, Bitcoin is struggling to break above $98,000. But hey, who knows? Maybe it’ll hit $100,000 tomorrow. Maybe it’ll crash to zero. That’s the beauty of all this, isn’t it? The utter, complete uncertainty. 🚀

Remember, I’m just a humble observer of this bizarre spectacle. Don’t take any of this as investment advice. If you lose all your money, don’t come crying to me. 💸😭 The views expressed here are solely those of the author, who may or may not be wearing a tinfoil hat as they write this. Just saying.

2025-02-10 22:57

Bitcoin Plunge?! 😱 Trump’s Tariffs to Blame?

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