Ah, the sweet scent of economic chaos—one might even say it’s the aroma of America. As if scripted from a reality show, the odds of a recession are climbing higher than a cat on catnip, markets are diving faster than a Starbucks customer on a Monday morning, and our dear President Donald Trump is hash-tagging his way through tariffs like they’re the latest TikTok dance craze. 📉💃
This whole scene feels like a rerun of Trump’s first term, which kicked off with enough fireworks to make the Fourth of July look like a fizzle before abruptly handing us one of the largest bull markets of our time. Yet this time, it seems the stock market—the darling of his policies—has taken a backseat, while Trump waves the pom-poms for the long-term health of the US economy. Who needs job numbers when you have golden-age dreams? 🎉🤑
Yes, Trump has promised to lead us into America’s next “Golden Age.” But wait—before we get to the gilded utopia, the economy might need to gargle a tad with some unpleasant medicine. Apparently, it’s suggested he could be stirring up the panic a bit, intentionally making the market tumble in an effort to nudge the Federal Reserve into lowering interest rates. Because why not, right? The world’s a stage and we are all merely players. 🎭
A Coordinated Crash
Ah, the unwritten rule of Washington, where presidents were supposed to zip it regarding Fed policy. Trump, of course, thought, “Why not shatter that glass ceiling?” He openly declared the Fed should give him a ring when discussing interest rates, leading to fits of laughter—probably from some serious political analysts stuck in traffic. 📞
In a glorious display of Twitter bravado, this past February, Trump tweeted the immortal words: “Interest Rates should be lowered.” And when the Fed didn’t comply, the administration leaned in and decided the stock market should crash, believing that a little downturn would convince Jerome Powell to play ball. New game plan: self-inflicted market wounds. Genius, right? Or just plain chaotic? 😅
Entrepreneurial mind Anthony Pompliano posits that this could be a clever scheme to make borrowing cheaper just before the US government faces the daunting task of refinancing a heavyweight $7 trillion in debt. No pressure! The plot thickens, as the 10-year yield has already plummeted nearly 60 basis points from its earlier peak. While the Fed may not budge in March, whispers speculate that a May cut is more likely than my chances of becoming a TikTok star. 📉
Recession Odds Spike to 40%: Thanks, JPMorgan!
The sell-off on March 10 was fueled primarily by fears that the US economy is hurling itself towards a recession like it’s trying to win a gold medal at the Olympic Games. These fears were echoed loudly through the bond market when the 10-year yield took a nosedive, hitting the lowest point since the glorious dawn of the Trump era. 🏅😬
Against this backdrop of doom and gloom, analysts at JPMorgan decided to up the recession odds for this year to a hearty 40% from 30%. Clearly, someone had to be the bearer of bad news—why not JPMorgan? They proclaimed, “We see a material risk that the US falls into recession this year owing to extreme US policies.” Because who doesn’t enjoy living on the edge? 💥
Further complicating our economic circus, Goldman Sachs waded in waving their own flags of concern over Trump’s trade war. They elevated their 12-month recession hopes to 20% from a mere 15%—oh, what a relief! Onward and downward, my friends! 🚀
BlackRock’s BUIDL Enters DeFi
Meanwhile, while we’re all busy watching the market tumble like a toddler learning to walk, on the other side, real-world asset (RWA) tokenization company Securitize has chosen RedStone as its faithful steed to provide data feeds for its tokenized products. This includes the hefty BlackRock’s USD Institutional Digital Liquidity Fund (BUIDL)—the smallest, cutest billionaire fund you’ve ever seen! 🦄💰
After less than four months on the Ethereum network, they’ve amassed a staggering $500 million in assets under management, proving once again that money does indeed grow on blockchain trees. They’re investing in cash, Treasury bills, and repurchase agreements—because why not? Let’s keep it safe and boring, right? ⏳
Staking ETH?
Cboe BZX, a chubby little securities exchange from Chicago, is now seeking the nod from US regulators to throw staking into Fidelity’s Ether (ETH) exchange-traded fund. Because if there’s one thing we love, it’s a good old-fashioned SEC approval waiting game! 🕹️🎰
According to a brave March 11 filing, Cboe wants a rule change that allows the Fidelity Ethereum fund to stake its Ether through one or more trusted providers. Staking could offer up shiny new yields for investors. Who needs sleeping pills when you can own a piece of crypto? 💤
February saw the SEC acknowledging numerous crypto-related ETF filings as the regulatory machine quietly shifted gears since our buddy Trump took office. With this backdrop, Cboe appears ready to strike while the iron—or rather, the market—is hot. 🔥
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2025-03-14 23:07