Oh darling, gather ’round! The glittering world of crypto is back under the dazzling lights, and guess who’s stealing the show? Yes, it’s the one and only, Donald Trump! 🎩 This week, the US House Financial Services Committee convened to sort out the delightful mess that is cryptocurrency regulation, featuring Trump as the main act in this grand political circus.
According to FOX’s own Eleanor Terrett, it seems both sides of the aisle have decided to hold hands and sing Kumbaya over updated disclosure requirements for digital assets—who could have predicted that? Bipartisanship and crypto, a match made in—well, somewhere questionable, I bet! 💸
When Democrats and Republicans Agree: It’s A Crypto Lovefest!
In a surprising turn of events, both parties, normally bustling with bickering like children fighting over the last cookie, have agreed that we need a nice, shiny framework for digital assets. Who knew they could play nice—for once? And let’s be real, helping the crypto industry might just be an afterthought. 🧐
Experts were not shy about revealing that the Securities and Exchange Commission’s attempts at regulating digital assets through the infamous Howey Test are as effective as a chocolate teapot when it comes to secondary market transactions.
My take from the @FinancialCmte hearing on #crypto market chaos:
There was a distinct vibe of “we really need to get our act together” regarding regulatory clarity and disclosure for digital assets. Seriously, someone pour me a glass of whatever they’re drinking! 🍹
Witnesses were like…
— Eleanor Terrett (@EleanorTerrett) April 9, 2025
“We simply can’t keep waiting on the courts to figure out our financial destiny,” proclaimed one sage lawmaker at the meeting, probably while sipping a lukewarm coffee and pondering their life choices.
Trump Family’s Crypto Side Hustles: A Dramatic Twist!
Now, let’s add a juicy twist to this saga: Trump and his family are diving head-first into cryptocurrency, and it’s creating more drama than a reality show reunion! 🎬 It seems the dynamic duo—Trump and Melania—are behind the launch of meme coins and something called World Liberty Financial, featuring a dollar-backed stablecoin named USD1. Oh, just what we need! More memes!
Rumor has it, these ventures have raked in approximately $800 million in fees for those lucky enough to be linked to our Dear Leader. Some shocked Republicans are clutching their pearls, saying the Trump family’s meme-related antics are making their work “a bit more complicated.” I mean, who doesn’t love a good plot twist? 🤦♀️
Talk about mixing business with pleasure! The president’s personal interests might just shape the very regulations he should be helping to create. What a tangled web we weave!
New SEC Chair: A New Dawn or Just More Drama?
And just when you think it can’t get any juicier, enter Paul Atkins, the freshly minted Chair of the SEC, who passed the Senate confirmation with a hair-raising 52-44 vote. Some crypto-friendly lawmakers are seeing this as a beacon of hope after years of bureaucratic snoozefests.
Others, however, are raising eyebrows, saying that real clarity will depend on Congress stepping up its game, rather than just who’s sitting pretty in the SEC chair. The committee is working on those oh-so-important regulations about when digital assets should join the ranks of commodities, like corn and soybeans. 🌽
Meanwhile, back in Trump-land, he’s been going all out promoting his cryptocurrency, with a new batch of 40 million Trump digital coins rolling off the presses faster than you can say “make America great again.” These coins are rumored to be worth more than $300 million—surely enough to buy a few gold-plated whatevers for his collection! 💰
No Conflict of Interest? Just Don’t Look Too Closely!
And for those curious kitties, other Trump coins (TRUMPUSD) are scheduled for a slow reveal over the next three years, with 800 million tokens total. Anna Kelly, Deputy White House Press Secretary, assures us that Trump’s fortune is tucked away in a delightful little trust managed by his glamorous offspring. Apparently, there are “no conflicts of interest.” Right. 🙄
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2025-04-11 18:45