Imagine, if you please, a topsy-turvy crypto carnival where coins dance about in a frenzy of highs and lows. Last week, amidst this mad spectacle, the markets hiccupped and coughed, only to recover by a sprightly 3.9%, whisking total valuations up to a jolly $2.61 trillion. While the usual headliners—bitcoin and ethereum—pouted in the grisly negative, two unlikely heroes stole the spotlight (with a jubilant toot of trumpets and a suspicious whiff of something else): onyxcoin (XCN) prancing up 197.4%, and fartcoin (FARTCOIN) cheekily soaring 91.6% against the U.S. dollar. (Yes, reader, you have our permission to chuckle.) 🤣💨
XCN, FARTCOIN, and the Escapade Beyond the $80B Crypto Sinkhole
Amidst thunderous tariff tantrums that rattled many tokens into double-digit doldrums, a bold band of cryptos leapt skyward with the agility of trained circus fleas. Leading this boisterous parade was onyxcoin (XCN), the dazzling star of the Onyx Protocol. With its decentralized blueprint, it claims to reinvent financial interoperability. Quite grand, indeed—like a chocolate factory for bankers!
XCN’s performance bordered on downright theatrical, bounding 81.3% on Friday’s sprint to secure its weekly flamboyance of 197.4%. Meanwhile, fartcoin (FARTCOIN)—a Solana-based meme marvel championed by an entirely different sort of breeze—fired off another 91.6% over seven days, escalating its comedic climb to a staggering 237.3% in just a month. Talk about a profitable whiff! 💨💰
Hyperliquid’s HYPE and Curve Dao’s CRV weren’t content to be left twiddling their thumbs, so they hopped on the merriment with respective 31% and 22.4% weekly tick-ups. Render (RNDR) and Kaspa (KAS) also joined the frolic, posting spirited gains of 15% and 14.2%. Most other assets, however, looked on gloomily like wallflowers at a grand ball, weighed down by the humdrum chaos swirling around them.
Still, a few tightrope-walking tokens—ONDO, BONK, and BCH—scrapped together modest 3%-8% gains by the seat of their trousers. Alas, EOS took a resounding tumble of 22.6%, while NEAR (down 16.6%), ATOM (-16%), TRUMP (-14.3%), and TON (-13.8%) all joined in a collective sigh of crypto despair. In total, this grand financial theatre has lost a whopping $80 billion since last Friday. Do mind your step—one never knows when the next surprise gust might come! 🤡💥
Read More
- OM/USD
- Jellyrolls Exits Disney’s Boardwalk: Another Icon Bites the Dust?
- Carmen Baldwin: My Parents? Just Folks in Z and Y
- Solo Leveling Season 3: What You NEED to Know!
- Jelly Roll’s 120-Lb. Weight Loss Leads to Unexpected Body Changes
- Despite Strong Criticism, Days Gone PS5 Is Climbing Up the PS Store Pre-Order Charts
- Moo Deng’s Adorable Encounter with White Lotus Stars Will Melt Your Heart!
- The Perfect Couple season 2 is in the works at Netflix – but the cast will be different
- Joan Vassos Reveals Shocking Truth Behind Her NYC Apartment Hunt with Chock Chapple!
- Lisa Rinna’s RHOBH Return: What She Really Said About Coming Back
2025-04-11 22:28