Oh, dear audience, lend me your ears! Christopher Perkins, grand president of CoinFund, hath proclaimed the latest parchment from the venerable Bank for International Shenanigans — pardon, Settlements — not just a relic collecting dust, but a veritable menace poised to unravel the delicate tapestry of our worldly markets! 🤡
“These grave scholars,” quoth Perkins, “mistake the marvelous chimera of crypto and DeFi for ravenous beasts, rather than the dazzling innovations they are! To seize and cage these digital sprites is to summon chaos upon the venerable halls of finance itself. One cannot corral crypto any more than one can erect fences ’round the wild and boundless internet!” 🐉
Mark well: the BIS bunglers fail to grasp that crypto dances upon the stage hour by relentless hour — a swiftness most unbecoming to the sleepy old merchants who unlock their coffers only when the sun so wills. To wall off these realms is not security but folly’s own jester, inviting disruption like a fox in the henhouse.
And what of their clamor about DeFi’s mysterious veils of transparency and elusive developers? Perkins, with a knowing smirk, reminds us it is much like demanding a town crier reveal secrets whilst the nobles whisper in shadows far darker and deeper.
Regarding the dire prophecies of stablecoins toppling fragile economies — ‘Tis a different tale, he declares! If these dollar-backed phantasms bring hope and coin to lands like Venezuela or Zimbabwe, might they not be heroes, rather than villains? 🍹
Even the wise Christian Catalini of Lightspark joins this merry band of skeptics, mocking the BIS’s script as a farce: “Trying to bind drones with parking laws!” Truly, a spectacle worthy of the grandest comedy.
Thus unfolds the grand drama, as regulators and innovators clash like quarreling nobles at a feast. And so the crypto sages proclaim: do not govern what you cannot fathom, lest you write folly’s next act! 🎭
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2025-04-21 04:08