So, Jack Dorsey, the man who gave us Twitter tantrums and Bitcoin daydreams, just dropped some mysterious crumbs on X (because apparently Twitter wasn’t enough chaos). He’s teasing us with fancy new tricks like transaction verification, a fingerprint reset (because who hasn’t wanted to annoy their phone with finger splats?), and—wait for it—private wallet balances. Oooh, secrets! 🤫
His tech wizard, Max Guise (I’m guessing he wears a cape), spilled the beans in a blog post, lovingly mapping out a digital treasure hunt of forthcoming upgrades. Ready your virtual shovels.
Security Upgrades: Transaction Verification and Cold Wallet Option
Max promises that by mid-2025, users will have a shiny transaction-verification feature, because trusting the internet blindly is so 2010. They’re cooking up hardware-based verification too—AKA “look ma, no hacks!”—and an optional cold wallet mode for connoisseurs who prefer their security like their drinks: on the rocks but not shaken by hackers.
His exact words were something like, “these projects are complicated, stay tuned over summer.” Translation: “We’ll bug you for feedback when we feel like it.”
transaction verification, fingerprint reset, private wallet balances, private purchasing, and purchase it with bitcoin. a lot coming to starting in may:
— jack (@jack)
Oh, and if your fingerprint decides to go rogue (fingerprints these days), May will bring a rescue reset feature. Fingerprint drama resolved, no therapist needed.
Focus on Privacy: Invisible Balances and Anonymous Purchasing
Not to be outdone by cloak-and-dagger fantasies, Bitkey plans to make your wallet balances vanish like that one sock after laundry—visible to you, invisible to prying eyes. Because who doesn’t want their money have a great game of hide-and-seek? Max calls it a “major unlock,” which sounds less like finance and more like a video game cheat code.
Plus, you can buy Bitkey devices incognito, no need to spill your home address to Big Brother or Big Store. Whether you pick it up at a retail spot or pay with Bitcoin (because paying with fiat is so last decade), your secrets remain safe. Spooky, sneaky, and just a bit cheeky.
So buckle up, privacy nerds and security geeks—the upgrades are rolling out soon after your summer BBQs, probably explaining why your wallet’s now smarter than your ex. 🔐
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2025-04-25 01:12